The Hibernator Engages in Online Dating (and starts reading again)

After a break, I'm back! I feel bad for dropping the ball on The Unwinding and Bible discussions, but they seem to have carried on well without me. :) Thank goodness! I will focus my attention this month on catching up with my Bible reading and starting Strangers in Their Own Land for the next group read. :)

Hi, my name's Rachel (the_hibernator), and I work in the healthcare industry. I have a PhD in biomedical engineering, and my dissertation work was with hibernating bears. In my spare time, I volunteer for a rehabilitative justice program with the Minnesota DOC. I'm passionate about reducing stigma about mental illness. I have bipolar disorder and talk about it a lot because I think more people need to know that mental illness is something that you don't have to be ashamed of. I have three cats: Myra, Hero, and Puck. I'm currently training for a 100 mile bike ride in the Lake Itasca (Mississippi headwaters) area in September.

I'm also, as you can see from the thread title, engaging in online dating for the first time in a couple of years. Boy is that an adventure.

If you want to follow me on other media:

Twitter: @hibernatorslibr
Litsy: the_hibernator
blog: http://hibernatorslibrary.blogspot.com

Currently reading:



There! My life is rebooted. Now if I can only find a husband, kids, and well-paying job I'm set.

Happy new thread, Rachel. Good luck with your online dating adventures.

Happy new thread!

No need to apologize - we all have real life get in the way of LT. Just glad to see you back!

Thanks Meg and Janet! It's good to be back!

For all interested, I've started a group read thread for Strangers in Their Own Land: http://www.librarything.com/topic/250079

Happy new thread, Rachel!
Sometimes real life interferes with LT-life, that is life. Good luck with finding all you want ;-)

Happy new thread!

Happy new thread, Rachel, dear.

Happy new thread, Rachel!

Happy new thread, Rachel.

AND another Happy New Thread, Rachel!

Happy new thread!

Yay new thread and reboot!

Happy new thread, Rachel!

I think the annoyance level with online dating depends on the service you're using. If you're using a free service, there's a lot of grossness to weed through. I've had a relatively decent experience using eHarmony - none of my matches have been super creeps. :)

Thanks all for the new thread wishes!

>15 MickyFine: Hi Micky! Yes, I thought about paying, but thought I'd try the free services first. I'm on Tinder, POF, and OKCupid. There are certainly a lot of people looking just to hook up. I've given my number to a few that I then turned around and propositioned me using the f-word, I guess just to show exactly how much they valued the experience. However, those people have luckily stopped using my phone number when I didn't answer the request. The people I've gone out with so far have not been creepy, though. :) I was thinking of trying Hinge, but if eHarmony is good I may try that if Italian guy turns out to be uninteresting. He's kind of growing on me.

Good news is now I can start flirting with Stephen again, right? Oh. Wait. I never stopped. Hi Stephen sweetie!

Happy new thread Rachel my dear.

Happy new thread - and wishing you well with the dating adventures.

>16 The_Hibernator: I just figured you and eeblue would get a bunch of cats and move into an old Victorian together like Aunt Frances and Aunt Jet in Practical Magic. :D

Thanks John and Charlotte.

>19 Morphidae: Liz and I aren't compatible living together because she's allergic to cats. :) I hope I'll get married someday. Though I'm thinking Emmanuel (the Italian guy) must have lost interest because he stopped his romantic emails in favor of sending texts, and he didn't even send a text today. So much for "every day" communication. That, in itself, wouldn't make me think he's lost interest. But he's been on Plenty of Fish today and NOT texted me. lol. Of course, I've been on POF too, soooo.

I was just texting with my ex-bf. I saw that he had been on POF within the past hour, too. He says it's as hard finding a woman as it is finding a man. Though he has decided to exclude every single mom out there, which is a lot of refusals given that he is 40 and most women of the appropriate age will have kids. Though I guess I'm aiming for older than me, and he's probably aiming for younger than him, so that makes a difference too.

I met my boyfriend through POF and we are over a year now with talks of the future, what our feelings are about kids etc, and how we think life might look 5 years down the line. So it is possible. We also attended a wedding last summer of an ex colleague of his who had met her husband through an online dating site. I think it can be great, once you filter out the weirdos. I had a few failed attempts, and lots of strange messages, but the good one has ended up pretty much perfect for me :). I knew it was on the right track when our first conversation online was discussing/bantering about cannabilism within two messages and neither of us batted an eyelid. Though he did say further down the line that he'd got the impression very quickly that I was......eccentric!

So all that is to say it is a good way to go, as long as you're prepared for the one night stand attempts and can filter quite quickly!

Wow... I am sorry I missed so much! Very relieved that your dad's surgery went well and much impressed with his political activism! I love all those great ideas for the marches, to make them peaceful and fun. I hope the government won't send in violent masked intruders as happens regularly in Italy and also Germany to discredit the peaceful movements.

As for the Italian BF question... I agree that it's partly cultural, but while I myself am hoping my next partner (should I ever find one again) will be an Italian rather than a German/ South Tyrolean, I'd run if he came with a mum suggestion so early on. Depends a bit where they come from, the farther South, the more important the mum figure becomes, but it's an omnipresent idea here in the North as well. In a sense, mum for the daughter also means "mum person" for the man, not necessarily equal partner.

I admire you (and Jenny >21 lunacat:) for your ability to online-date. I can't even post on friends' FB pages, so RL it has to be or nothing. I know several happily married couples with kids who met online.

Happy new thread, Rachel!

Last night I talked on the phone to a perfectly normal guy (police officer) who I met on Tinder. The conversation was a little boring, so I'm not sure that's going to work out. But he seemed really nice.

>21 lunacat: Thanks for sharing your story of finding the right guy through POF. I met my last boyfriend through POF, and though it didn't work out in the long run, he really was a good guy. So I know there are good ones out there. Though I feel like I've already plumbed the depths of POF, Tinder, and OKCupid right now, so I might go to eHarmony as suggested by Micky. At least while I'm waiting for more people to join the free ones. Or maybe I should broaden my search net. I've been looking for people of the same religion as I am (or who is at least Christian), with at least a bachelor's degree, who doesn't support Trump.

>22 Deern: Hi Nathalie! Usually the government is pretty good about letting peaceful marches be, though there have been some rather infamous cases where this has not happened. And so far the protests in Minneapolis have been pretty peaceful. We're passive aggressive here, not aggressive. lol

You just shone a spotlight on one of my red flags there. At one point Italian guy said "I want you to be the mother, auntie, sister, and everything a woman can be to a man." I'm like "What does that mean?"

But of course you all are right, I should listen to my red flags and get rid of the guy.

>23 scaifea: Thanks Amber!

There's another free dating site/app that is popular around here called "Bumble". It's supposed to be unique in that men can't message women first, the women have to initiate. I'm not sure if it's actually more effective, but it is free so you might give it a try if you've run out on the other big sites.

>24 The_Hibernator: Christian, batchelor's degree, who didn't vote for Trump. Pretty important and specific values/qualities. I married my husband 26 years ago. Our politics were in synch, our religion was at the same level of (Protestant) non-involvement, and he didn't have a degree. The lack of degree has bitten us in the rear a couple of times when it's been hard for him to find work over the years, but the other two are way more important, IMO, from my personal perspective. I'd consider that we have a good marriage. One daughter, too. *smile*

Happy new thread, Rachel!! Wishing you lots of luck and fun with the dating sites.

>24And what did the Italian guy say he'd be to you?

Hi Rachel! Good luck with the dating sites! They seem to be the way to go these days, and no doubt better than bars and blind dates.

Love the idea of a dating app called "Plenty of Fish"! I like the optimism!

I'm an old fogey and computer dating sites weren't around in my day (neither were computers for that matter), but two of my sons met their wives on eHarmony. Of course they met some duds along the way too, but if you "persist" there will be someone for you!

Two things.
1.Drop that Italian guy immediately.
2. For what it's worth, my husband and I are in our 24th year of marriage. His parents are D's and mine are R & L, we are more I, but over the years we have occasionally voted for opposing parties. We sometimes have vigorous discussions over policy and rule of law, but we never fight about it. Admittedly, things have never been so polarized, but if you find that you agree more than disagree over the important issues, it might be OK. I mean, a president only is in office for so long, and best case scenario, you hope the relationship lasts longer than a presidential term, yes?

>28 Morphidae: That's a very good question, did he mention anything except for being romantic?

I also wanted to add that the emphasis on "mum for his daughter" means he doesn't want to deal with his duties (I guess the wife took care of everything complicated) and probably wants to shift them to a partner asap, selling it as sign of trust. And teenage daughters "love" having a stranger put in front of them whose orders they should obey. So it's probably better that he texts less.

Happy new thread, Rachel! Sorry, I am a bit late. Miss seeing you around. How are you enjoying Dark Matter?

I just had an awful date last night. Not that anything awful happened. He was just annoying and mediocre. But fear not, my serial dating skillz are mad, and I have another date tonight and another on Sunday morning. lol And I've got one more guy I'm talking to that I haven't set up a date with, but I think I've got enough this weekend. lol

>25 norabelle414: Thanks Nora, I'll try it out. I sifted through some old (ignored or unopened) messages from POF from a time when I was talking to too many people and didn't want to start any new conversations. I found a couple good ones and have some conversations going again. But I may try Bumble if things slow down again. I've sent out a bunch of messages on eHarmony and gotten only one tentative one back in response....so it probably has the same number of "good" matches as POF, it just reduces all the junk mail you get. lol

>26 karenmarie: That's great that your relationship has worked out so well, Karen. :) I agree that they're all important, though not 100% necessary, for a good relationship. Of course, I have a PhD, so I'm more educated than any of the guys with Bachelor's degrees, so the wounded ego can happen to me, despite my efforts to look for an education.

>27 Berly: Thanks Kim

>28 Morphidae: A wonderful lover. lol

>29 banjo123: Yeah, I wouldn't know how to set myself up on a blind date, Rhonda. Those are few and far between. But this (and friends' friends) seem to be the best way to meet people.

>30 magicians_nephew: Lol Jim. Yeah, it's a very optimistic name now that I think about it.

>31 arubabookwoman: Yes, I sifted through a dud last night. One fewer dud out there to screen!

>32 nittnut: Hi Jenn! 1) Yup. Done. 2) I agree that alignment of politics isn't necessarily necessary. My last boyfriend had strongly opposite views as myself, though, so that really didn't work out well. And I'm very passionate about certain political issues, especially now that they are all being threatened, and it's hard just to avoid the topic.

>33 Deern: Hi Nathalie! Nope, he didn't. The more I think about it the more I wonder why I talked to him for so long. lol. And I totally agree that a teenager will not want me to suddenly be telling her what to do. Especially when it would appear that she has been living with her maternal grandparents (not her father) for the three years following the death of her mother. So he was planning on getting married and taking her away from her grandparents and putting her with his new wife while he was gone 50% of the time on business trips. Bad deal!

>34 msf59: Hi Mark! Enjoying it a lot! It's good to be reading again!

Dang! That's more dates than I could stand in a week. i need some alone time. Good luck! Someone worth being friends with has got to show up, and from that, maybe someone worth being called "boyfriend" will happen.

Wow. That dating stamina is impressive. Hope somebody clicks...

>35 The_Hibernator: Good luck with all the dating but you're going to start get names and facts muddled up soon!

Hani always said that English guys who were short and wore specs were her absolute no-nos. 21 years of married life tells her her gut instincts were......well you should ask her. I am happy enough. I would prize empathy, conversational skills and being able to make each other laugh and smile as the most important ingredients but I also think the person needs to be "good" when judged by our own value system. Stunning looking with great legs, a superb bum, nice boobs and most importantly a cute face simply gets me interested enough to talk but often five minutes of talk becomes too much.

I am rarely stuck for conversation with someone I am interested in but it is also important that the person you're with wants to listen and take a genuine interest in what you say and think too.

Update: due to issues in applying for PA programs (they all seem to require an education within 5-10 years of applying), I am now considering becoming a cardiac perfusionist. Unfortunately, that will require me to move away from my friends and family and MN. However, I think it would be worth it to feel like I'm moving forward on my degree again. I might slow down the dating because of this move, despite the fact that it wouldn't take place until at least Fall semester of next year. I think I'll work with Robert, the unlikely commitment/no children guy. He's really a great guy, and we've become increasingly close despite the fact that I've continued my search after getting to know him. If I meet the "right" guy in the mean-time, that's great. But I'm not going to actively search anymore.

It's good to be reading again, and I will soon start posing thoughts.

>36 cammykitty: That is true, Katie! It is a lot of dates, and it's exhausting.

>37 charl08: Thanks Charlotte. But as I said I'm going to slow down the search now.

>39 The_Hibernator: Very insightful Paul. Robert actually is great about listening to me, even if he is crazy busy and doesn't always answer texts. He's not what I'm looking for physically, being slightly overweight and short, but that's all good. The other things count a lot more, as you've said.

Hi Rachel!

It sounds like you're making some great decisions to move your life forward.

I got married almost 26 years ago to a man I'd known 14 years. We had always been really good friends, but one fall it changed, so we got married the next spring. He was slightly overweight and slightly bald and had major health problems; yet here we are. He's more overweight and more bald and his health problems have progressed; yet even with the ups and downs in our marriage, he's MY overweight, health-problem riddled, mostly bald guy. And I wouldn't trade our daughter for anything in the world.

>35 The_Hibernator:

To look at me, you may not think that I'm a Femme fatale,
But I've got more boyfriends than I can count, you know I don't mean pals
Well, there's Andrew, Barney, Charlie, Dan, and Ed - to note a few.
I used to get their names mixed up, but now here's what I do

I call them
Sweetheart, Babylove,
Angle face, Turtledove,
Honey pie, Sugar lamb,
Huggy bear, Lover man
To avoid any possible embarrassment or blame,
I never call my sweetheart by his name.
-- Christine Lavin

>39 The_Hibernator: Rachel--Sounds like you are making some very important life decisions involving big changes. I am surprised that with all the great hospitals and medical programs in MN that you can't find cardiac perfusionist training locally, but maybe the universe is shaking things up for you with this potential move. (And I totally believe you have done your research.) Good luck as you find your way through all of it! I am excited for you. : )

>41 magicians_nephew: Love that!! Well done.

I had to go look up a perfusionist - sounds like a rewarding career. Hope that your find a programme that suits you.

LOL at 41> If you kept up the dating at that pace, you'd be needing that poem's advice! Glad Robert makes a good companion. And you're right, if you make a major move and a commitment to your education soon, looking for future daddy of babies isn't a good plan.

>40 karenmarie: Love that Karen. Warts n all. I think it is a correct observation that I actually love my wife as much, if not more, for her imperfections than for her stellar qualities. That is probably because she is not forever gassing about the former!

Hope you are well, Rachel. Take good care of yourself in that dating jungle out there.

Happy new(ish) thread, Rachel! I think that your idea of studying to become a cardiac perfusionist is a great one, even though it would require a move away from Minnesota. There will always be guys, regardless of where you go.

Happy Sunday, Rachel! Hope you had a good week and are enjoying the weekend. Are you expecting snow?

I have been rather absent from the threads for... well, a really long time. Stopping by with hellos and wishing you a Happy Friday and a wonderful weekend, Rachel.

Missing you around here Rachel.

One of those dates must have really caught your imagination! Don't forget us all completely though. xx

Just looking for more Rachel updates...missing you! Hope life is treating you well. : )

Hi to everyone who has been missing me. I have had a crazy month. I think the last time I posted I was ramping up into a hypomanic state (hypersociality with all the dating). But it only got worse from there. The serial dating got to the point that I was meeting one to two people a day. I was doing things that are very contrary to my personality, too. If it had gotten any worse, I may have started skipping work in order to go out on dates - in other words, it almost turned into my first case of full-blown mania. Luckily, I crashed on Thursday into an abysmally mediocre feeling (which is apparently what "normal" people feel like all the time). There were no lasting effects other than several men texting me all day. I hadn't missed any work, and no-one at work made any comments on my possibly bizarre behavior because it didn't affect my ability to do my job. I didn't do any reading during the last month because I was so focused on my dating and other behaviors.

So now I've got a little clean-up to do. Mostly in the form of getting rid of all those men. I'm thinking that except for two of them I'll just stop responding to their texts. It's hard for me to do because it feels rude, but I think that's a better solution than talking to them - given the type of relationship I had with them. I have two guys that I actually hung out with to do activities with, and those two I will continue to talk to. I intend on getting rid of one of them - in fact, I told him that I was trying to "cull the flock" the other day (we'd been competing on how many people we were talking to - I was winning by far) but after I explained to him what "cull" meant, he took it as a challenge and became even more interested in me.

The other guy that I'm not going to get rid of is the only one who's really relationship material. Not only is he relationship material, but he is ok with the fact that I may be moving for school in a year and a half and he says that should the relationship blossom he has an easily transferable job (he's a respiratory therapist). I am a little wary about getting into a relationship with him, though, because he is a recovering narcotics/alcohol addict. He's been clean for 16 years, which is a long time, but I've been told that the behaviors that go along with being an addict last a life-time. I'll see. I need to hang out with him while I'm in a normal state of mind before I decide anything.

I will have to slowly start reading again. I don't want to start more than one book at a time because I don't want to encourage any hypomanic behaviors. I will restart Dark Matter, by Blake Crouch. If I find myself healthy for a while, I will pick up a nonfiction book again, and hopefully the Bible. But reading way too many books at once is one of my tell-behaviors, and I don't want to risk spinning out of control again.

>51 The_Hibernator: Sounds like culling is both necessary and a good thing for you, Rachel. You take care of yourself first!

>36 cammykitty: You're right Katie, the best type of relationship is someone that you can be friends with.

>37 charl08: I hope so too, Charlotte. But it's hard to tell right now. I really like one of them, but he spends too much time looking for someone else, which is a bad sign. He's also severely homophobic, which will eventually get on my nerves.

>38 PaulCranswick: Yes, conversation is important. In fact, I think the ability to communicate is the most important. However, as a hypomanic person I imagine I was doing most of the talking. So I have no idea whether the guy that's "relationship material" can hold up his end of the conversation or not. He's certainly good at listening. lol

>39 The_Hibernator: Woops! I already answered all of you. lol.

>40 karenmarie: I'm so glad you've found someone that you can truly call yours Karen. That's what I would like in life.

>41 magicians_nephew: lol You have no idea Jim.

>42 Berly: Thanks Kim! I'm pretty excited to have a life-goal again.

>43 charl08: Yes, I've had a lot of people asking me what a perfusionist is. To be honest, it's something I never thought about until I discovered it on a Google search of medical careers. But it seems the right choice for me.

>44 cammykitty: Lol. Robert! I forgot about him. He stopped talking to me on Tuesday of last week. Oh, my fickleness.

>45 PaulCranswick: Thanks Paul! I wasn't taking care of myself very well, but I'll take more care now, hopefully. I think I'm in the clear. I have no wish to continue the process.

>46 kidzdoc: Thanks Darryl. So true! I'm really excited about my new career choice.

>47 msf59: Have no idea Mark. Maybe?

>48 lkernagh: Hi Lori!

>49 PaulCranswick: I could never forget you Paul!

>50 Berly: I'm here Kim!

>52 alcottacre: Yes, culling is first on my list for clean-up Stasia.

Hi Rachel!

It sounds like moderation for you is a Very Good Thing.

Take care of yourself!

Yes, moderation. I just bought a bunch of new books. lol. Perhaps reading isn't the best thing for me after all.

Waving and sending wishes for equilibrium. :)

It's wonderful to see you posting. Happy weekend, Rachel.

Rachel!! You're back. Whew! You have been in a whirlwind. Good luck finding your equilibrium again. I hope the respiratory therapist turns out to be a good guy. Stasia has coined a term for our problem: BAD (Book Acquisition Disorder). ; )

Glad to see you back Rachel. Hope the meds situation has been sorted out, and glad that your job has not been affected by your mania.

I think it's really interesting about being able to gauge your mood on how you are reading books. I'm not sure what my current reading habits say about mine!

Glad that you are back to more of yourself, Rachel! All that dating sounds exhausting, but good that you found a couple of keepers.

Well, glad you're back with us!

Good to see you back Rachel and pretty much unscathed!

Have a lovely weekend.

I'm glad to see you, Rachel! Your insight is amazing, and I always love your reviews. Congrats on the new goal!

Ah, bookbuying. Do you follow Stacia's thread? She's coined a new term which I fully expect to see in a future edition of the Diagnostic Codes manual.

And we'll all be listed as examples. ;-)

Hi Rachel, wishing you a wonderful Easter weekend.

Or just Happy Sunday!!

Happy Easter Rachel. I hope your coming week is lovely and mellow. :)

Happy Easter, Rachel!

Hope you're having good a good break and that your keepers are good company.

Just stopping by to say hi.

**WAVES** : )

Happy Wednesday Rachel and "Happy Culling" (I never thought I'd ever write that)

Hello! Great to see you made a meetup for the March for Science (over on DrNeutron's thread).

Hope all is well with our champion dater. Wishing you a wonderful weekend, Rachel.

Hi everyone! I've been checked out of online life altogether for a couple of months, and haven't been too good at keeping up with real life, either! Luckily, my hypomanic streak started to stabilize a couple weeks after I posted last time, but since then I have been dealing with a bit of a lethargy - probably first exhaustion from the hypomania and then horror at all the stuff I need to catch up on to get my life up to par again. But I've finally started reading again! Yay! Thanks for everyone who has kindly commented on my thread throughout my absence.

My THIRD book of the year is Dark Matter, by Blake Crouch and my fourth book of the year is Dream Magic, by Joshua Khan.



Dark Matter was a book club choice with Morphy, who has been waiting impatiently for months for me and our other member to read it. (The other member has been in the middle of preparing for her graduations with her Masters of Library Science, so I don't have to feel bad for taking so long.)

Currently, I am reading A Clash of Kings, by George R. R. Martin. I read A Game of Thrones a few years ago, so hopefully I remember it well enough to jump into the second without re-reading the first.

I suppose I can update you on my exciting life the last over-a-month. I DID go to DC for the March for Science. There, I met Jim and Nora for a lovely dinner. 🙂 The next day Nora showed me, my father, and my nephew around the National Zoo. I am very grateful to have met them both.

I toned down my online dating quite a but, I even stuck to one person for about a month. But then he showed his true colors by making a ridiculous accusation against me, and I got rid of him suspecting that all the accusations he made against his ex during the time we were dating were equally false.

I then started talking to a Kurdish guy who, after I didn't reply to him for a day, freaked out and made communication rules in which I was to answer him ASAP unless I was at work, in which case I must answer during my breaks. Furthermore, if I couldn't talk, I should tell him so and why. This after a total of two conversations with the guy. Needless to say, I never met him. Lol He still texts me and can't figure out why I'm not answering, despite my telling him exactly why I wasn't interested.

I went on a date with a rich douchebag who took me to Chipotle and then sat and bragged about how much money he makes. Even had a "one day while I was driving my Porsche" story.

Still no luck with the men!

I gave up caffeine a few days ago, and am over the withdrawals now. :)

>77 The_Hibernator: It was so great to finally meet you in person, Rachel! And your family too.

Yikes! I'm sorry about your dating woes.

Good for you on quitting caffeine! I have tried to quit a few times but have come to terms with the fact that it's never going to happen for me.

Same for me, it was so fun to have dinner with you! Um, gotta heartily disagree on the caffeine front, though. Couldn't build a spacecraft without it! :)

Glad to see you, as always, Rachel. :)

Glad to see you back, Rachel! That sounds like a fun DC meet-up.

And the dating sounds frustrating, but someday things will come together. There is a lid for every pot.

>77 The_Hibernator: Glad to see you had such a wonderful time in DC and "Good Grief" on the dating front! Glad you were able to determine their bad points early and move on.

There must be some "normal" guys out there, Rachel. I hope you find one. The last ones sound pretty strange.

Hi Rachel, thanks for the update! I totally admire that you don't let those experiences dishearten you. I was never able to do online dating, I'm way too scared.
I did caffeine withdrawal a couple of times when I knew I'd go someplace where I wouldn't get any (like a yoga retreat). I only have one big cup of coffee everyday and no energy drinks ever, but I always went through at least 2 days of headaches and light nausea, so it doesn't need much for the body to get addicted. Last week I had headaches in the morning 3 days in a row and had to drink a second cup in the office. Only on day 4 I noticed that I had accidentally bought decaf for my breakfast cuppa which explained it perfectly. :)

Rich men don't take girls to Chipolte

Rachel--Glad to hear the coffee withdrawal is going okay for you, even if online dating is not. : / My daughter tried Tinder for a bit and quit already. So nice to see you back here. I hope we get to see more of you again. : )

>85 magicians_nephew: LOL!

Hi Rachel! I'm wandering around LT trying to catch up. There's lots going on in your life.

Sometimes you have to compromise on physical qualities when you're dating. I said I'd never look at a guy who was overweight like my dad. Guess what? Here we are 19 years and two kids later, he's more overweight and now, so am I. Well, what can you do? But he lets me buy all the books I want - though even he's starting to look worried when he sees the book mountains.

Happy Sunday, Rachel. I'm glad to hear about your update. I hope you'll find a nice partner soon.

Waving hello - it's good to see you posting!

>78 norabelle414: Hi Nora! It was great meeting you too. Yeah, I'm pretty proud of myself for my progress on giving up caffeine. I still drink one every once in a while, but in moderation. I'm going to give it up entirely, but cutting down from a 2L bottle a day to nothing at all is hard.

>79 drneutron: Hi Jim! And it was nice meeting you! :) I certainly couldn't build a spacecraft without caffeine. ;)

>80 MickyFine: Hi Micky! Good to see you, too.

>81 banjo123: Hi Rhonda! Things are going a little better on the dating front, more in my next post.

>82 lkernagh: Hi Lori! Yes, it's nice that they showed their true colors so early.

>83 Familyhistorian: Hi Meg! Yes, the problem with the internet is that you have to sift through a lot of people in order to find the right ones. Also, men (or women) in their late 30s to late 40s who have never been married and have no kids (me!) often have a reason they're single. Not that I wouldn't date a divorced person or someone with kids, of course, but I'm just saying...

>84 Deern: Hi Nathalie! I'm pretty lucky in my withdrawals. I only get a headache for one day, and it's on the second day. On the first day, I'm just tired. But I was tired and had aching legs for a week. I didn't even realize aching legs was a symptom!

>85 magicians_nephew: Lol, Jim. In his defense, we just walked to Chipotle from the coffee shop we were at because it was a nice day. The next week he invited me to a more trendy establishment, and I declined.

>86 Berly: Hi Kim! Each dating site has its pros and cons. Tinder is mainly a photo contest. Swipe right if hot, left if not. People write very short profiles. Mine was literally a collection of maybe 6 words that described me. Bookaholic, Liberal, etc.

>87 humouress: Hi humouress! Well, I'm not too very picky about physical appearance. I don't want someone who's obese or who has bad hygiene. That's pretty much it. Oh, and I'm not a fan of the lazy eye. Creeps me out for some inexplicable reason. But you don't come across that in America much anymore. The guy that I've started dating now is overweight and balding, and it really doesn't bother me. Other qualities matter more.

>88 Ameise1: Hi Barb! I've started steadily dating the same guy for a couple of weeks, so the dating is getting a bit better.

>89 streamsong: Hi Janet!

Hi everyone! Things are going well for me out here. :) I'm mostly done with caffeine - just a little more effort to cut it down from moderation to gone. I've been dating the same guy for a couple of weeks - I met him on Tinder. He's had a pretty interesting life. He is in recover from heavy drug use as a teen and through 30s - he's been sober for 16 years. I generally don't date people in recovery because they have a tendency to fall off the wagon. I've seen way too much of that in my life. But I figure 16 years is good, and it shows great personal strength to give up drugs when you've been using them heavily for 20 years. He's a respiratory therapist. He claims he reads, though I haven't seen any books in his house. Apparently likes science fiction.

Also, for those living near Philly, I'm going to be there for a conference in September. I think it's around the 13th of September, but I don't have the paperwork available.

Since I last updated you, I have finished listening to Kindred, by Octavia E Butler. It was a fantastic book, though I felt that its premise was a little silly.



I have set aside Clash of Kings for a while because it was too long and I'm getting bogged down by too much fantasy. I will pick it up again after a short break. I'm now reading We Need to Talk About Kevin, which is much more realistic. I'm listening to Born a Crime, by Trevor Noah, which is fantastic so far.



I also signed up for the Book of the Month Club, which is something I've never done before. We'll see if my slow reading pace can keep up with it. My choice this month is The Sisters Chase, by Sarah Healy

Happy Sunday, Rachel. Love those current reads. I read Kevin a few years ago and it still haunts me.

The Noah memoir is excellent.

Hi Rachel! I want to read the Trevor Noah as well.

That's great that your dating is looking up. Enjoy yourself!

Glad to see that you've got some good reads on deck and that you've found a decent gentleman caller. ;)

Just waving mostly Rachel (it has been a long day fighting with a word document that seemed to be breeding errors whenever I looked away). Your current reads look like fun. Hope the latest frog is a keeper.

Hi Rachel! I thought you might be interested in this interview with Sherman Alexie.

Here's a BookPage interview with Alexie about his new book,.

http://lithub.com/sherman-alexie-i-think-we-live-in-a-constant-funeral/

Apparently his new book You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me is about growing up with his bipolar mother. He also mention his own BPD. I did not know this about him. I'm looking forward to reading it. He will be speaking in Missoula in July - I hope I get to hear him.

Hi Rachel. I'm just getting caught up around here. I've been off doing other things and barely keeping up with my own thread. I hope you have a great weekend!

Sounds like you found a good one there, Rachel, if you have been going with the same guy for a while.

Glad to hear that things are going well with you, Rachel!

Hi, Rachel!! I have read and loved two of your current reads: Kindred and Born a Crime, so since you have such good taste, I am going to assume the others will be good, too!! : )

Rachel good to see you are still keeping keeping on. The Kurdish guy sounds like a complete fruit cake.

Have a lovely Sunday evening and take good care. xx

Stopping by to get caught up and noticed your comment in >91 The_Hibernator: that you are "mostly done with caffeine - just a little more effort to cut it down from moderation to gone." Good for you! I have actively worked on limiting my caffeine intake for 6 years now and while I know that there is no such thing as 100% decaf coffee, my body sure tells me when the coffee shop makes an "oops" and give me a regular Americano, instead of decaf. ;-)

Glad to see the dating is more on the positive side now.

>92 msf59: I enjoyed both, Mark, though I expected a slightly different book from We Need to Talk About Kevin. I expected to find the mother a much more approachable character. But the ending was a pleasant surprise.

>93 banjo123: I hope you do, Rhonda. It was really good.

Sorry everyone, I was going to respond to everyone, but then I got called away. More later.

OK! I'm back! Forgot that I started answering people and then failed to complete the task. hehe

>94 MickyFine: Thanks Micky! I indeed have quite a few good books lately, though I'm afraid I lost the gentleman lol

>95 charl08: Hi Charlotte! Hopefully that Word document eventually came through for you. I hate struggling with computer issues! The "latest frog" was a great guy, but he had his own issues that he needed to work through. Back on the online dating field again.

>96 streamsong: Hi Janet! I've never read any of Alexie's adult books, though this one certainly sounds interesting. I've seen good things about it. I should check it out. Thanks for the heads up.

>97 nittnut: Hi Jenn! I know the feeling of always needing to catch up on LibraryThing!

>98 Familyhistorian: Hi Meg! Like I said above, he certainly is a good one, though he had some issues to deal with so it didn't work out.

>99 ronincats: Thanks Roni! I'm a pretty happy person right now, even if there are things that I'm working to change.

>100 Berly: Hi Kim! Yes, they turned out to be fantastic books. :)

>101 PaulCranswick: Hi Paul! Yes, I finally had to block the Kurdish guy because he wouldn't leave well enough alone. I always feel a little rude blocking someone, but what can I do?

>102 lkernagh: Hi Lori, I still haven't gotten rid of the caffeine, and I've been drinking a little more again, but nothing I can't cut out again easily. My body doesn't need it like it used to.

Hi Everyone! As was noted in the comments above, Fred didn't end up working out. He was a great guy, but he started getting too worried about his house-shopping. Finally, he said that he needed to be alone while he was shopping for houses because the decision to tie himself down to Minnesota was sucking the life out of him. I asked him what he wanted from me - should I stop texting him and wanting to hang out? He didn't answer. The next day, I sent him a message saying I guess that was my answer, and good luck with his decision. He hasn't responded. Oh well. Since this only happened a few days ago, I only just started looking online again. I'm talking to a few people, one is a librarian who has a lot in common with me, but he lives about 1.5 hours away. We'll see.

Since I last updated you, I finished three books:



The Sisters Chase was my first BOTM selection, and it was a winner. It took me some time to process it, but it was a good story and I was engrossed the whole time. Despite the problems of the older sister, both characters were lovable.

We Need to Talk About Kevin wasn't quite what I expected, though it was certainly excellent. I had expected the mother to be a likable person who was suffering due to her son's behavior. But she wasn't. She was priggish, cold, and stubborn. The father was slightly better, but had his problems too. In fact, there wasn't one likable character in the whole book - which was the intention of the author. I also expected a surprise at the end because a lot of the reviews suggested there would be one. Although I liked the end, I still don't know what was so surprising about it. Overall, definitely a thought-provoking book, but not what I was expecting.

Born A Crime was superb. It was funny and intelligent. I'm not generally a fan of celebrity memoirs, but this one was worth the read. I'm so glad I picked it up.

I'm currently reading:



I acquired a few books too:



I bought The Last Punisher and The Lone Survivor to encourage my 13yo nephew to read over the summer. He's been interested in military lately, and military books for kids his age just look pretty stupid. So I got him some adult books that I hope he'll enjoy. He's already started Lone Survivor. Since one of those books was on the buy two get one free table, I couldn't resist picking up A Man Called Ove and The Gene. All the Ugly and Wonderful Things was a book I reserved at the library because it was the BOTM Club book of the year last year. Then I promptly forgot about the reservation until it popped up in my e-mail. I'm glad I decided to go ahead and read it, it's strange but fantastic.

>105 The_Hibernator: I was just thinking of your nephew the other day :-) Do you think he would be interested in military-themed sci-fi books, or is he very adamant about non-fiction (or at least non-sci-fi)? Has he read Ender's Game, and if so how did he feel about it?

I remember being very rigid in my book preferences at that age as well, to the frustration of both other people and myself.

>106 norabelle414: I loved Ender's Game though he appears to think Science Fiction and Fantasy are "stupid." Maybe I forced a little too much of that on him when he was a child. Or maybe he just grew into his own tastes.

Hi Rachel! It's been a while. Seeing The Stand on your list brings back memories. I really enjoyed the original 600+ page edition. Great characters and story.

>108 brodiew2: This is the "original uncut version." I would rather have the shorter version-I'm not good with long books.

The story, characters, and King's unique style are still intact. I look forward to your thoughts.

I haven't read them myself, but the CHERUB books seem quite popular. Has your nephew tried them?

Hi, Rachel. All the Ugly and Wonderful Things seemed to be popping up everywhere, but I did not see any LT activity on it. You are starting to get me interested...

And hooray for Ove!!

Rachel--Nice to see you around here again. So glad you liked Born a Crime, too! I've read Ove and The Stand and loved them both (TOTALLY different) and have the Gene somewhere waiting for me. Sorry Fred didn't work out. Better luck on the next guy--you deserve a good one. : )

Too bad about the guy but looks like you have been doing some good reading.

Hi all! I'm sitting here painting my nails (letting them dry and playing on my phone) so I thought I'd do some catching up, even if I don't have time for a full update.

>110 brodiew2: So far, I love the story. King is very imaginative. Though I've always struggled with long books, even if I live them (been trying to read the Game of Thrones series for a while). But I'll make it through for the sake of the great story.

>111 humouress: Thanks! I'll check them out! He's apparently doing well with the books I bought him, so maybe he'll move out of the reluctant reader class.

>112 msf59: Hi Mark! I finshed All the Ugly and Wonderful Things, and it was fantastic. She did such a good job of making the romance sweet rather than creepy - for the most part. More about that when I have time.

>113 Berly: >114 Familyhistorian: Hi Kim and Meg! Yeah, I've had some great luck with books lately! Oh well about Fred. Disappointing, but better to know earlier rather than later. My red flags should have gone up when he told me he was dating after a long dry spell to try to try to break out if a depression. We all know seeking a solution to depression outside of onesself generally fails.

Hi Rachel, wishing you a very happy Sunday. I just try to make my way back on LT.

Thanks Barb!

So I had a really good first date with a guy this afternoon. He's a reader, though I think he spends more time gaming. Now I'm having a first date with a completely different guy. He's 7 minutes late. Lol

Back on the dating scene! Good luck. ; ) Here's to a happy Monday.

Thanks Kim! Happy Monday to you too!

Update:

Alright. Personal update. Still serial dating, as mentioned above. I generally do this in batches. I'll have a flurry of online activity, make several dates, ignore online until I decide whether any of them are 2nd date material. I have five guys in this batch.

First guy expounded upon the qualities of ethically nonmonogamous relationships then asked me what I thought. When I told him they were perfectly fine for OTHER people, he just went back to praising them. I pulled the "Omigosh! Look at the time!" and ran for it. He continues to message me claiming that he's interested in a monogamous relationship with me. But of course he isn't. He'd try to convince me to make it nonmonogamous, and when I didn't bend, he'd make it nonmonogamous on his own. OUT.

Second guy I had to reschedule because our date was during rush hour and it turns out that we live in such a configuration that rush hour was horrendous (right through downtown Minneapolis as half-way point). I'm skeptical of him because he's 5 years younger. But we'll see. I still need to reschedule.

Third guy was a lot of fun. We played minigolf and then sat at a restaurant and chatted for a couple of hours. He has similar views as myself, and a good sense of humor, and similar interests - including reading.

Fourth guy stood me up. Better to know he's a flake sooner rather than later.

Fifth guy is someone I'm excited about (claims he has a PhD from CERN). But his divorce isn't final. So minigolf guy might win out. My date with CERN guy is on Wednesday.

Other than that, the only thing of note that's happened is a run-in with a girl at work. It ruined last week for me, because it was such a big deal. She came in late on purpose because she was angry at the nurse for scheduling her as opener. This act thew the rest of us under the bus, because we were at a standstill until she opened the water room. We ended up getting all the patients on an hour and a half late. Which means that we had to cut their treatments. This coworker clearly doesn't care about us or the patients. I finished with my patients before my coworker did, so I put on one of her patients. Not because I cared about my coworker (I was pissed) but because I cared about the patient. I didn't talk to the woman all day because I didn't want to have a run-in. We've had them in the past. Then, at the end of the day, my other coworker and I were struggling for reasons outside our control (late patients). The nurse asked the irresponsible one to help, and she answered that we didn't help her so she's not going to help us. So she sat at the computer doing nothing while we struggled! When I went to my boss to complain, I found out that my irresponsible coworker had gone in to him to complain TWICE already, and said some very rude things. Ruined my day. I was so angry. The next day, I decided to tell my boss several things that this coworker does on the floor that endanger the patients (things I really should have told him earlier, but I figured it was the nurse's job). I told him the nurse would back me up (she did). I mostly told him these things because I wanted him to know what sort of person he was dealing with before he fully considered her claims against me. He answered "Between you and me, I know it's not you. But I can't say more." So that made me feel better. I can't wait to find a job that is more fitting to my education!

Ok, I've got to run. I'll come back later this day and post my reading updates. Which really is the most important part of LibraryThing. lol

Since my last update, I've finished one book:



All the Ugly and Wonderful Things was fantastic. It's about a little girl growing up in a meth lab. She meets and falls in love with one of her father's thugs, which creates problems because she's a child and he's an adult. Greenwood did a fantastic job of developing the characters and the environment which shaped these characters. The romance was designed to make the reader feel uncomfortable, but at the same time it was a beautiful and touching romance. I highly recommend this book.

I'm currently reading:



I have acquired:

What an update, Rachel. I enjoyed reading about your datings. It looks like you don't have a boring time.

Glad to hear that your boss g8ves you some support. What a rude person this girl is.

Hi Rachel?

How goes The Stand? Feeling any better about it?

I've seen Final Girls on Kindle. I look forward to your thoughts.

Good to know your boss seems to be on the ball. Stay safe.

Happy Tuesday, Rachel. Thanks for the personal dating updates. I am so glad I don't have to hassle with that. Sounds like a lot of work. LOL.

Good review of All the Ugly and Wonderful Things. It is on the list.

What Mark says. I don't know how you keep the names straight me very mind anything else!

Hope the job situation improves soon. Mine is hopefully going to be a bit quieter for a few months!

Hi Rachel--Thanks for the update. Good luck with the dating. Mini golf and maybe soon-to-be-divorced sound hopeful.

Bummer about the whole work blow-up. Hope the co-worker thing gets resolved soon. And that you find a job you like better!

So nice to "see" you here. : )

I have to repeat how I admire your approach to dating (especially compared to my "OMG this guy might be interested in me, must avoid him at all costs" fear-based philosophy). And it's really entertaining to read. :)
I agree that #3 and 5 sound promising - a divorce not finalized is at least (usually) a divorce in progress and not some "my wife doesn't understand me and we'll seperate soon" rubbish. How long do proceedings take in the US? Until recently, in Italy it was 3(!) years, so no-one would wait that out.

Very glad your boss is on your side!

>120 The_Hibernator: Your serial dating sounds very similar to mine. I have some that don't like it that I have a date with another guy when we just meet. I've only been divorced 2 years and just started dating. I was separated for 5 before the divorce and didn't date. I wish you luck on your dates a look forward to an update.

>120 The_Hibernator: Sorry to hear about the run-in with your co-worker - things like that leave me feeling totally drained and wiped out emotionally so I'm glad you got feedback from your boss that he knows you're not the problem (but frustrating too - if he knew the co-worker is a problem already why wasn't he doing something about it, especially if this impacts patient safety?) And interesting to hear of you're continuing dating adventures :-) #3 sounds very promising....

>121 The_Hibernator: I love all Jonathan Stroud, and The Hollow Boy was no exception. One of the great young adult authors.

*waving*

*waving also*

Hope things are OK, Rachel. I greatly miss your updates on your dating adventures and (the books of course).

Take care. xx

How's it going Rachel? Haven't seen you for a while.

:) Hi everyone! I haven't been around because I've been reading slowly...nothing new to report on the reading front. I think it's because I've been spending a lot of time with the guy I'm dating - who I suppose you could call my new boyfriend. (I'm generally a little hesitant to apply that term a month into a relationship, but since he called me his girlfriend yesterday, I suppose it's only natural I refer to him as my boyfriend.)

Anyway, I'm on my phone at work ( on my breakfast break) so I don't have the willpower and perseverance to accomplish more than a short message. More later.

Yay, that's great news, I'm happy for you! :)

Great news!

Yay! A Rachel sighting. : ) Congrats on your new status--eagerly awaiting more updates. Happy Friday.

Good to see you back and (cautious) congratulations.

Glad to read your news. Hope you have a great weekend.

Great to read your news, Rachel. I hope things are still going well.

*waving*

>122 Ameise1: Hi Barbara! Yes, it is nice that my boss gives some support, though luckily over time the coworker has calmed down, and we have been able to work well together. That may be changing soon, though, because her niece got fired for walking off the job, and my coworker blames me. It was not my fault exactly - the coworker who was fired had been acting very unprofessionally and rudely lately, and I had finally told her how I felt about her behavior. I thought someone needed to stick up for everyone, since my boss a conflict avoider. She walked off the job expecting that my boss would do nothing, because he had been doing nothing about her behavior for a while. Unfortunately for her, my boss was out of town, and his boss came in and fired her. My other coworker thus blames me, though it is not my fault that this woman walked off the job. *shrug*

>123 brodiew2: Hi Brodie. I'm afraid I finally gave up on The Stand. I don't deal well with long books, and I felt King had included a lot of information that was not necessary. I DO like the story, so it's a shame, but I finally had to give up.

>124 humouress: Hi humouress! Yes, like I told Barbara, my boss has been supportive. Unfortunately, though, he's a conflict avoider, so I think he was being supportive to my coworker as well, lol.

>125 msf59: Yes, Mark, dating is a LOT of work. I'm so glad I'm done with that for a while.

>126 charl08: Hi Charlotte! Yes, my job calmed down for a while, though it may get exciting again soon. I'm currently looking for another job.

>127 Berly: Hi Kim! Soon-to-be-discovered was a bit of a let-down. Nothing exciting there. But I'm thrilled with mini-golf guy and am happily in a relationship with him right now.

>129 Deern: Hi Nathalie! Yes, it is tempting to be afraid of men that are interested in me. I have the temptation as well. Since starting to date Aaron, I have several times thought that maybe I should stop liking him quite so much, just in case. But I'm doing a good job of rolling with it and I like him quite a bit.

Divorce proceedings often take up to two years around here. A lot of people start dating before they are divorced, but I really don't feel those people are ready to date, generally.

>130 crazy4reading: Hi Monica! Yes, serial dating can be fun, though tiring. It is probably a good thing that you waited a while before dating, because the process would probably be emotionally draining if you were not quite ready to date.

>131 souloftherose: Hi Heather! My coworker continued to bully me for quite a while. I kept my mouth shut, which was emotionally draining because I am used to standing up to bullies.

>132 sirfurboy: Hi sirfurboy! Yes, I love Stroud. I will soon read the next book in the series, and the 5th is coming out within a month, I believe.

>133 humouress: *Waves back!

>134 Berly: *Waves back to you, too!

>135 PaulCranswick: Hi Paul! Yes, I had a bit of a reading slump when I started dating Aaron - too much to do, so little time. But I think I'm back on track now.

>136 humouress: Hi humouress! Like I told Paul, been busy with Aaron. lol. Hopefully I'll become more active now that I'm used to dating a guy that I really like.

>138 Deern: Thanks Nathalie!

>139 _Zoe_: Thanks Zoe!

>140 Berly: Thanks Kim!

>141 humouress: Thanks humouress!

>142 charl08: Thanks Charlotte!

>143 Familyhistorian: Thanks Meg!

>144 humouress: *Waves back

Hi everyone! Things with Aaron (the man I can now comfortably call my boyfriend) have been going really well. He really likes me, and I really like him in return. His daughter (7) has warmed to me quickly. His son (5) is more skeptical. He's in denial that I'm his father's girlfriend (he actually tells people his dad doesn't have a girlfriend). I believe it is probably because he wants his parents to get back together. He also has requested more father-son time just before Aaron and I started dating, and I probably get in the way of that. Assuming their mother doesn't want them this weekend (it's not her weekend, but they were out of town for two weeks vising grandparents in Oregon), I will ask Aaron if he wants to take them to a nice park that has a huge playground. I'm going to TRY to get two Saturdays off a week - one in which Aaron has no kids, and one in which he does. That way I can spend time with his kids and hopefully get Malcolm to like me better. Though it's hard getting Saturdays off nowadays because two of the employees have decided not to work Saturdays anymore and my boss (who avoids conflicts) has agreed.

Other than that, no personal updates.

Since my last update, I finished only one book:



This was a BOTM book about three girls that had survived three different massacres, and were called the Final Girls by the media. When one of them dies, things become exciting. This book has gotten a lot of good reviews, and I liked it well enough, but I didn't feel the excitement that other people have apparently been feeling. I felt it lacked a lot of verisimilitude, I guessed who the murderer was at the beginning, and there was once incident in which the author showed ignorance on a subject that she should have known about if she had done proper research. On the other hand, there were many twists and turns that were impossible to predict, and that made the book rather fun.

I'm currently reading:

Good morning, Rachel! It's good to see you.

>137 The_Hibernator: I'm glad to hear that things are off to a good start with your 'boyfriend'.

>145 The_Hibernator: It is a good story and there is the original version which is just over 600 pages. I know he released a later version with was over 1000.

>146 The_Hibernator: Glad things are going well in your relationship. :)

Hi, Rachel! Glad things are going well with the new boyfriend. Fingers crossed this continues. Hope those current reads are treating you fine.

Hi Rachel. : ) Glad the new beaux seems to be working out. Good luck winning over the son (not that you can't do it, but that it might take some time). And thanks for the update!

>146 The_Hibernator: I am really pleased, Rachel!

Have a lovely weekend.

Hi Rachel, good to see you again. Aaron sounds good. Best of luck with the kids; they're exasperating enough when they're your own and stuck with you (not to put you off, of course) :0) Your boss sounds like hard work, though. Mind you, I'm a conflict avoider, too, so I'm not one to talk.

Aaron sounds like a good 'un Rachael - good luck with it

>148 brodiew2: Hi Brodie If I were reading The Stand by hard copy and could find a copy of the older version, that's what I would have gone for. However, I don't appreciate SK's writing style. It just doesn't flow right for me. I thought maybe audiobook would be better. It WAS better, but it was too long.

>149 MickyFine: Thanks Micky!

>150 msf59: Thank Mark!

>151 Berly: Hi Kim, I'm starting to win over the son a little bit, but he's still a little skeptical of it. Actually, the very day I decided that he was starting to talk directly to me was the day Aaron decided I was right about him being uncomfortable. That was because Malcolm specifically blocked me in a board game we were playing. I didn't think of it as a big deal. He claimed he was blocking me because I was blocking his dad. Which I took at face value.

>152 PaulCranswick: Thanks Paul

>153 humouress: Hi humouress! Yes, my boss is difficult, but he is a really great person. Luckily, all the people who were causing problems have mostly gone away now (the last one is only here on Mondays now).

>154 magicians_nephew: Thanks Jim!

Hi everyone! Things have been going really well for me. I'm still really enjoying my new boyfriend, Aaron. My parents are ripping apart their basement in order to make room for a guy to come in and fix it so it doesn't get floods anymore. Which means that I am doing all the work, because they do not have the energy. It's a lot of work. I went to the Ren Fest a couple of times since last talking to you - one a kids trip and one an adults trip. I haven't finished any books, as I have not been listening to audiobooks and Clash of Kings is quite long. However, I bought a few.



This will be a Christmas present for Aaron's daughter. I wanted to pre-read it to make sure it has appropriate content before I buy more of the series for her.



I broke down and bought these on the Buy two DC get third free. Of course, that sale has been going on for years, but I broke down anyway. I had no idea any of these books were DC, so I'm pretty pleased with myself.



I just finished the third of this series, and thought I'd catch up on the rest.

Maybe someone can help me. I'm trying to think of a present for Aaron - I'd like it to be an epic fantasy series, preferably one that is completed. A fantasy series that is not epic will do. I was thinking of a specific series that I have not read, but I've forgotten the name of it and can't seem to find it through my searches. My vague memory is that it has the word "wind" in the title, and that it has a castle on the front. If you can think of that series, or another that would fit, please let me know.

ETA: Found it! It's called Name of the Wind. If you have other suggestions, let me know.

If you want epic go with Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time.

Are you just discovering Alan Moore? Two good ones there.

I got one of my book groups to read Watchmen and was nearly drummed out of the regiment as a consequence. (They didn't like it - and/or just didn't read it).

V For Vendetta is shorter of course and I might say better if you twisted my arm.

Hesitate to recommend Susan Cooper's The Dark is Rising which is lovely in a lot of ways but is aimed at a YA audience. But I've read and re-read it and love it.

Assume he has read the Phillip Pullman His Dark Materials also sort of YA but amazing

Good to hear from you again.

>157 The_Hibernator: Has he read fantasy before? What type of book does he normally like - genre, light/dark, dense/breezy, etc.?

For instance, I would call Name of the Wind dark and sliding toward the dense side. Something like the Belgariad is light and breezy.

I think you should give him The Golem and the Jinni. Not a competed series, but it is romantic.

(and why does LT not have a little heart emoji for me to add to this post?)

>157 The_Hibernator: Not really my genre but I would go with Feist's Magician books or go really classic and take LOTR or Gormenghast.

Have a great weekened, Rachel.

My fave epic is Memory, Sorrow and Thorn by Tad Williams. First book is The Dragonbone Chair. Or as Paul suggests, LOTR.

Hi everyone! Thanks for your suggestions. I should have prefaced my question with the fact that he is well-read in fantasy, I just wanted to get him some books for Christmas and he likes fantasy. In fact, he's probably better read in fantasy than I am, but significantly less well-read in other topics. He also doesn't read quite as much as me despite being a faster reader.

>158 Oberon: Hi Erik! Actually, he's already read the Wheel of Time series and keeps trying to convince me to read it. I may start it after I catch up on the Song of Ice and Fire, but I'm only on the second book of those.

>159 magicians_nephew: Well, I've never read an Alan Moore book, though I have certainly heard of both books, and they both seem to come highly recommended. I only bought them because I realized that they were DC, and therefore counted under the sale. I've been wanting to read them for a while.

Believe it or not, I have NOT read The Dark is Rising! I've owned the book (unread) for years and have always intended on reading it. I don't know whether he has or not, but my impression is that he doesn't read much YA, other than Harry Potter. The other good books that I've mentioned that are YA he hasn't even heard of. But that doesn't mean he wouldn't read YA. I will consider The Dark is Rising.

As for His Dark Materials, I have read the series and enjoyed the story. It was very creative and thoughtful. Though I had an issue with him hacking atheism and anti-Christianity in with an ax. He complains about C. S. Lewis doing that in his own books, but then Pullman does the same in his own. A little subtlety would be appreciated; I don't like lectures in my books - of any type. I don't know whether Aaron has read it or not, but that's a good suggestion. Most people didn't seem to find his atheism lectures quite as annoying, and I think it probably wouldn't really bother Aaron - given that he loved the Ender series, which did the same hacking with abortion. (Don't get me wrong, I also liked Ender quite a bit.)

>160 Morphidae: Wow! An appearance from Morphy! Yay! I think he likes both dense and dark (Song of Ice and fire) and light and breezy (Discworld) or combinations thereof (Harry Potter). He has not read The Name of the Wind, but he has read Belgariad (something which I, myself, need to finish).

>161 banjo123: Hi Rhonda! Another book that I own but have not read. This, unfortunately, I own in audiobook, which I have not had time to listen to recently. I'm making very little progress on the book I'm currently reading, but Golem and the Jinni is one of the books that I was considering as my next. I am pretty certain Aaron has not read that book, given that he doesn't pay attention to books as much as I do, and it's relatively new. I will consider this as an option. In fact, if I buy it for him in hard copy, then I can borrow it when I'm done and can get around the slow audiobook problem. :)

>162 PaulCranswick: Hi Paul. Definitely read LOTR. Probably several times. As for Gormenghast, I have not read it, but have certainly heard of it. I gather that it's pretty good given that you suggest it? Maybe I should read it too. Magician I have not heard of. I will look in to it.

>163 drneutron: Hi Jim! And another series that I have not looked in to. I shall do that.

Hi Rachel! I have no suggestions, because books seem to be only a minor part of my life this year, but I hope all is well! On the topic of The Stand, I read the extended edition in hardcover, which was a whopping 1,000+ pages and weighed approximately 10 tons!

Hello Rachel! I hope all is well with you. Just dropping by to say Hi!

And, that I just completed my first 'reading' (audio) of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I'm glad I waited til now. It was brilliant.

Hi Rachel, good to see you again. I don’t know if Aaron has read the Chalion series. You could try the Vorkosigan series, which is (brilliant) sci-fi by the same author, Lois McMaster Bujold. Well, so far I’ve loved everything she’s written. The Dark is Rising is seconded.

Re being deliberately blocked in a game, my boys will do that to my husband to protect my pieces. Which I do think is a bit unfair for him - but, hey, I’ll take it! ;O)

If he hasn't read Bujold yet, I would definitely second the recommendation of The Curse of Chalion as outstanding fantasy. Has he read Steven Brust (start with Jhereg? Midnight Riot (also known as Rivers of London) by Ben Aaronovitch?

>165 Ape: Hi Stephen! Yeah, I shouldn't complain SO much about long books like The Stand, as I actually just finished Clash of Kings. But it took me forever, and I admit to skipping descriptions of feasts and battles etc. that were unnecessarily long. The FIRST time I tried reading The Stand, I failed because I had the mentality that skimming was for the weak. The second time (this last time) I was using audiobook, with which I couldn't skim.

>166 brodiew2: Hi Brodie! I'm glad you loved LOTR on audio. Wasn't it wonderfully read? That was such a treat. I will treasure those books always.

>167 humouress: Hi humouress! That's another series I've heard of but haven't read. Maybe I should check it out. As for The Dark is Rising it sounds like I should dig that out and read it at some point, since so many people love it so. It's been collecting dust on my shelves since I was a young teenager, I think. lol Just too many books too little time.

>168 ronincats: Hi Roni! I haven't ever heard of Steven Brust. I'll check him out. I've read the first few of Rivers of London series, that's a good suggestion. :)

Hello again everyone! Had my birthday on the 4th (38), and we celebrated by going out as a family (including Aaron and his kids, my parents, and my sister's family). It was fun. :) I've pumpkin painted once with my sister's kids, will do so again with Aaron's kids (though Aaron and I will carve so that we will have some pumpkin seeds to roast). I'll do it again later in October with my 13-yo nephew Johnny and friend - we have a yearly tradition of it.

I have now gone gung-ho in taking up wall-climbing as my new full body workout. My last try was kickboxing, but the class I took didn't actually teach me to do it, it turned out to be more of an aerobics class, which I didn't enjoy. I like working out at my own pace, for one thing. I also like knowing how to do things the right way, so that I don't injure myself. Climbing comes much more naturally to me, and I can always hire some personal training to hone my skills. I've been a total of two times and have already bought shoes, a harness, a chalk bag, and a membership. The membership at Vertical Endeavors includes five facilities around the Twin Cities, and the facility nearest me also has a cardio and weights room, which is nice because I can't afford both my gym membership and my Vertical Endeavors membership. As of now, I am really enjoying climbing and think I can get there about 3 times a week (around my crazy work schedule). On the other days, I am easing into the p90X ab workout, which is pretty intense. I'm adding one new exercise per week. I think there are a total of 15, with reps of 25. In addition, I've been trying to eat fewer calories and more healthy, and I've been logging my caloric intake on my fitbit app. Does anybody have fitbit and would like to join my community? I just bought one of the little teeny ones for hooking on a pocket or bra.

As for Aaron, things are progressing more quickly than I'd expect, but I'm surprisingly ok with that. This is the first time I've honestly considered marriage since I was 18, and both Aaron and I have decided that we should probably get engaged and announce an engagement to his kids sooner rather than later, so that we have time to ease the kids into the subject, and we don't take up so much time that my fertility disappears entirely. My clock IS ticking. I'm still having trouble with his son, Malcolm. The kid is beginning to get more brave in expressing the fact that he doesn't like me, in quite a few ways. He is NOT outwardly hostile or acting out yet, though. But it's a distinct possibility that he's easing in to. We will probably have to address this with a child psychologist. I have gotten into the habit of not talking to Malcolm at all, because it's so awkward to say something and have him not so much as look at me or respond. (He rarely even looks at me, now that I think about it.) I know it's not personal - it's my relationship with his father and not me that he protests, but it's still hurtful sometimes.

Anyway, on to what we're all here for: books.

I have completed:



Despite struggling with the length, I managed to finish Clash of Kings, which I really enjoyed. I'll take a break on long books for a while, though, and stick to shorter books.

I have acquired:



The first four were bought at Half-Price books as additions to my birthday/Christmas present pile for Deirdre, Aaron's daughter. The last one I bought for both of the kids. They loved it.

I am currently reading:

Glad things are going well with Aaron and that you're getting in some decent reads, Rachel!

Yes, good reading! And good luck with Malcolm---step-parenting is really hard.

>170 The_Hibernator: Wow, things have progressed rapidement!

I guess that the son needs some adjustment time, Rachel, as, if things are moving quicker than you expected, it must seem like warp speed for him.

Don't worry about it unduly as love for the parent will spill over and there should eventually be a backwash if you embrace it. xx

Exciting news about the progression of your relationship! I hope the situation with Malcolm starts to improve before too long.

What the others said - this is rapid progress and sounds totally great. Also the climbing. I tried it once and was considering getting a membership, it was such fun, but then there were almost exclusively students, i.e. teenagers and none of my friends here wanted to come along.

About Malcolm I'm thinking like Paul - that it's all a bit too much for him right now and he feels totally threatened. And then baby talk, while he doesn't know it he'll see the possibility. The concept that love is big and doesn't shrink when shared with more people/ new family members isn't so easy to grasp.

Wishing you all the best!!!

Hi there! Wow, lots of news here. Love rock climbing, although I am not great at it. My daughter is pretty good. Congrats on the relationship with Aaron and good luck with his son. Love seeing you here. : )

Wow, I am so far behind but there are exciting goings-on hereabouts! I'm thrilled to hear that things are going well with Aaron and that you are considering a more serious commitment. Of course, with the little ones, it just takes time and patience. Being present, being steady, being warm and real and all the things you already are, and letting little Malcolm decide to trust you at his own pace (and as he realizes that you aren't going to stand between him and his mom, but that he gets another loving adult in his life!) --- all that will unfold in time.

Thanks for keeping us posted and keep taking good care, Rachel!!!

Trick or Treat!

*just waving*
*...and running away...*

This is a time of year when I as a non-American ponder over what I am thankful for.

I am thankful for this group and its ability to keep me sane during topsy-turvy times.

I am thankful that you are part of this group.

I am thankful for this opportunity to say thank you.

Just stopping by to say "How-de-doo"

>179 humouress: Come back here!! : )

>181 magicians_nephew: >182 Berly: 8>)

Karen O.

>182 Berly: Depends; is it trick or treat?

Hi Rachel. Hope it’s going well, fellow-Libran!

Wow, I have been neglectful of both my thread and my reading this year, hopefully next year I will do better. Thank you everyone who has continued to drop by my thread despite my absence!

Update: Still getting married! Here's the ring:



Here's the groom (with me):



The wedding is taking place on May 19th, so not much time left to go!

I'm getting along much better with his son Malcolm now - he's accepted that I'm to be part of his life and seems to rather like me. I still get along better with Deirdre, though.

Work has been going well recently since the trouble-people have left.

As far as reading goes, I'm still exactly where I was two months ago. But I have made a goal to sit down and read every day. Hopefully I can get back in the habit. I'm currently reading:

Congrats!

>186 drneutron: Thanks Jim!

Congrats on the official ring having! Good luck with all the wedding planning. :D

So glad everything is going well for you, Rachel!

I am so pleased for you Rachel. xx

CONGRATULATIONS on the official engagement! And I love that photo with your open mouths!

Congratulations Rachel and good luck with all the wedding planning my dear.

Congratulations!

>185 The_Hibernator: - Like, WOW! How did I miss earlier mention of this?!? Congratulations!

>185 The_Hibernator: Rachel--Love the ring and the happy faces even more! Congratulations. : ) Glad that things are working out with the kid and that work people are nicer. Wow. Life has turned around for the better! It is SOOOO nice to see you back around here. Big hugs.

>185 The_Hibernator: Congratulations to you and Aaron Rachel! Glad to hear things with Malcolm are getting easier too.

Oh, congratulations!!

(>194 lkernagh: me too). Better book my flights and everything. We're all invited, right?

Very happy for you.

More congrats from me !

Congratulations! What a lovely ring! Best wishes!

>185 The_Hibernator: :D :D :D
CONGRATULATIONS, what wonderful news! Best wishes for you and the new family!

Thanks so much everyone!

Very much congratulations and wishing all the best for you all, Rachel!