Paul Williams (8) (1940–)

Well, I should have read the text of what this was about before downloading this one. I had done a search on "affirmations" and this was the only audiobook that wasn't checked out. I am big on "surprise me", so usually do not read what a book will be about and because I am compulsive about sticking with a book I have started, this is sometimes a problem.
I don't want to criticize 12 step programs, because those who turn to them and adhere to them are greatly helped. But this book reminded me of the things that bug me about them.
I disagree, for example, with those proponents of these programs that there is a "one size fits all" in the paths that lead to self-destructive behavior and the paths away from them---not everyone, for example, was filling some psychological hole with their addiction, or became terribly mean and rude before deciding there was a habit they were struggling to replace with something better. And I'm not convinced that a sponsor-sponsee relationship is completely healthy. The dangers I think I see in it are that the sponsee submits to chastisement by the sponsor, who is often someone who assumes that he (pick a pronoun for this and all subsequent he/hims) has the exact same history and motivations as himself, and so often seems to feel he is fulfilling his duty as sponsor by speaking to the sponsee with the disrespect he feels he himself deserves. Meanwhile, the sponsee too often projects onto the sponsor the responsibility of eradicating his bad-habit behavior, so that he comes to think he is doing it for the sponsor rather than himself, and the goal can shift to keeping secrets from the sponsor--because it's perceived, once there is backsliding, that it's the sponsor that cares about habit breaking more than the sponsee does. I am also bothered that the mantra of each of these programs is that the program is needed and always will be. To my way of thinking, this drives the problem into the subconscious and thereby keeps it locked in. Wouldn't it be more useful to look for every example of one's self being strong, resisting the bad habit? We need examples of our strength to grow stronger, not of our weakness. When someone wants to overcome stage fright, they are not advised to repeat every day over and over "I am a coward who trembles and stutters" or to share stories of the manifestations of this fear to a group of like-minded cowards to remind themselves of just how fearful they are. They are generally advised, rather, to remember every time they experienced courage, to consider icons that represent what they want to become, and to fill the imagination with visions of strength and courage. Likewise, athletes are not told to rehearse each previous stumble or fall; they are advised to envision themselves performing perfectly.
So, in this book, the only affirmation that I noticed being pointed out strongly, despite its apparently containing 6, is "Something needs to change and it's probably me." Always a good thing to consider when one is unhappy in an environment they want to remain in. I had been hoping though to find a nice inspiring book with positive self-affirmations. This felt like the opposite, too full of the kind of talk that makes someone feel stupid for who they are and for ever having tried to change without the help of the group.
But like I said before, I have seen people benefit from 12 step programs, as of course there's also the pro side. Like, that a huge group of people understand the common devastating results of the addiction, and the seriousness of the desire to quit; the members, particularly those willing to be sponsors, will often withstand a great deal of inconvenience, going out of their way to help their fellow sufferers at the drop of a hat. And, most importantly, there's great power in the group consciousness that a higher power that is accessible to anyone who seeks it offers salvation.… (más)

Seldom does a book that claims to change your life seem worthy of that description, but in this case...believe that it will guide you to personal freedom if you want it.

On so many levels Paul and Tracey use the foundation for recovery that has helped millions with addiction in a manner that is so simple, yet profound and universal to every person everywhere. The affirmations are not just theory; they are meant to be daily practices that are integrated into one's being in order to live life on life's terms.

With humor and humility, the "steps" are laid out clearly on how to identify your problem with honesty, change self-destructive behaviors and poor choices with the help of a higher power that works for you, right the wrongs you have committed, and leads you toward your own truth path.

[Gratitude & Trust] also provides ways to deal with difficult people described as "Nasties" and detach with love for those people in your life who may suffer from addiction who are not yet ready for recovery.

This book is inspired and one that I will share with others who are open and willing to live a life in love and service, gratitude and trust.

I received this book for free through Goodreads First Reads.… (más)