Ann NeumannReseñas

Not entirely what I expected, though still compelling. And heartbreaking. I think this is a very good place to start for anyone trying to work on death acceptance. It reveals some practical knowledge, but mostly it forces the reader to face death through those who are dying, have died, and have outlasted death for now. It's not particularly uplifting, but neither is it devastating.

We are all going to die and everyone that we know and love is going to die, and it probably isn’t going to happen how we would like it to. Neumann’s book is a compelling, compassionate, and thoughtful examination of this proposition. Her discussion of what constitutes a good death (or a good enough death) is moving, and rather terrifying, but something that it would behoove all of us to think about. It is a really remarkable look at death in America.

In The Good Death Ann Neumann examines death in America using her experience as a caregiver for her dying father as the springboard. She succeeds in looking both pragmatically and emotionally at what death is and what it isn't.

Unlike some memoirs on the topic of death this is not written specifically just to tell one person's death and the effect it has on others. Those books are wonderful for what they are but do not even try, understandably so, to "examine" death in America but rather to illustrate through a specific instance what death was like in a particular case. They usually present broader issues when they find themselves at odds with what they think is right and what they are or are not permitted to do. To the extent that this book does that it is relatively brief and is the origin point for a broader study.

I found the mixture of straightforward presentations of views and policies juxtaposed with more emotional tales of where those policies intersect with real people going through difficult times to be quite effective and moving. Those stories become not simply one person's battle isolated from the issues but emblematic of how policies and narrowly defined viewpoints impact many people fighting the same battle.

I would recommend this to anyone interested in death in both its emotional and its societal/legal/medical aspects. If you want something a bit more like a memoir where you follow one family and the larger issues are more like background, this may disappoint you. But fear not, there are plenty of such memoirs available and they can pack quite a punch. For those wanting the heart and the mind engaged together, this book will also pack quite a punch, and perhaps irritate you at some of the policies and viewpoints thrust on people when they are suffering already.

Reviewed from a copy made available by the publisher via Edelweiss.

This was both more interesting and less... depressing than I anticipated it would be. Not a “fun” book, exactly, but Neumann handles her difficult topic with sensitivity and grace. Delving into the subject of how Americans face death, Ann Neumann opens with the story of how she and her sister tried and failed to allow her father the at-home death he wanted. This is painful and personal, and Neumann doesn't shy from graphic detail, but neither does she “wallow.” Her frustration with the failure of the hospice that was serving her father to provide them with more complete information (not to mention stronger drugs) begins her on the exploration of death related issues that makes up the rest of the book. She becomes a hospice volunteer and works with patients in a variety of settings, coming to recognize the advantages and limitations of the system. She spends time with activists, and patients involved in the “aid in dying” movement, and examines the political and religious aspects of the opposition to this option. Looking at cases such as Terri Schiavo's, Nancy Cruzan's, and Jahi McMath's, she presents the debate over lengthy use of life support measures for patients ruled to be brain dead, and she points out ways in which DNR orders and living wills may be disregarded depending on issues outside the patient's control. In a chapter that was particularly eye-opening for me, she looks at death in America's prison system. The ending of this chapter, “Dying Inside,” was a little jarring, but also very honest – she admits that she's uncomfortable with the prisoner she visits, and is not sorry that the prison won't let her send him letters. I was shocked, though, to learn the extent to which the policies of our prison system are influenced by the large corporations that profit from them. But, back to death...

The book ends on a surprisingly life affirming note. Neumann forms a strong friendship with a hospice patient who far outlives the six month guideline, and her relationship with the woman and her family helps her come to terms with her father's difficult end. She says...

”There is no good death, I now know. It always hurts, both the dying and the left behind. But there is a good enough death. It is possible to look it in the face, to know how it will come, to accept its inevitability. Knowing death makes facing it bearable. There are many kinds of good enough death, each specific to the person dying. As they wish, as best they can. And there is really one kind of bad death, characterized by the same bad facts: pain, denial, prolongation, loneliness.”

I'm glad I read this. The political, social, and religious issues involved are ones that we as a nation need to address thoughtfully and seriously, weighing various issues of compassion and dignity, hope and suffering, which Neumann explores from a wide variety of perspectives.

I received this book from LibraryThing through their Early Reviewers program with the understanding that the content of my review would not affect my likelihood of receiving books through the program in the future. Many thanks to Beacon Press, Ann Neumann, and LibraryThing!

Saying that this was an enjoyable book is inaccurate and feels a bit glib. So I guess that I will say that I found myself nodding my head, muttering 'uh huh, that's right' and agreeing with most of Ann Neumann's discussion of end of life issues, particularly aid in dying. She is clearly biased on the side of granting terminal patients the right to decide to end their suffering when they feel that they have had enough. And that's fine, because I totally agree with her.

I liked Neumann's inclusion of opposing points of view, in particular those of Bill Peace and the advocacy group Not Dead Yet. I had not realized that the disabled would consider the legalizing of the right to aid in dying to be a threat. Like Neumann, I now understand their position, even though I profoundly object to their belief that they know best for everyone because of how they have lived their lives with their various disabilities. (but I will not get into any of that)

I was quite interested in the different aspects of dying that Neumann covered, as well as all of the various settings and scenarios. She runs the gamut as she visits and speaks with people from all walks of life, from the poor AIDS patient in hospice, to the wealthy of New York, to terminally ill prison patients. She covers a lot of territory but it all seems to boil down to loneliness and a sense of isolation. In the end, she concludes that there is no such thing as a 'good death' but that there can be a 'good enough' death.

I don't know. From what I've seen, death is messy and chaotic. It is the ultimate interruption of life. It is horrifying. It is a profound relief. It is a loss of dignity and privacy. It is a time of reflection, memories and general woolgathering. It is a time of regret and amends. It is too quick. It is too slow. Ann Neumann knows what I mean.

Thank you to LibraryThing for the Early Reviewers copy of this title.

Over the past couple of years there have been several books ordered or taken down from my shelf regarding the subject of death. Some would say the subject is too morose to burden oneself with. But the final outcome of life is what we might expect given if facts are adhered to honestly. There is nothing more for me to add in reviewing The Good Death by Ann Neumann. Reading this book was not fun, but instead informative, upsetting, and interesting. There is no escaping the frustrations of the world as fellow victim of it. And anyone choosing to live in this world has in their own way already given themselves over to another. It is with luck and practice that our life ends peacefully. There is no reward, no medal given, for all of us one day will be ultimately forgotten. To believe otherwise is at best delusional, even if comforting at times. What is as important as what we do are the brief moments of intimacy that avail us when we reach out and become open to them. It is what adds sweetness to the tears we shed. There is no good death. Only one we can hope is good enough.

What I was expecting was an overview of how the United States views death and the options and activities going on throughout the country. What I experienced, instead, was a well-researched, but quite biased view of what the author feels about the options available to achieve “The Good Death” or even if a “good” death is possible.

There will be no doubt in the reader’s mind on what Ann’s position is on aid in dying (very much in favor of it). Or of many other aspects of living and dying today. The author did extensive research on organizations that she favored and those she disagreed with. And I learned quite a bit about activities that I was unaware of. I appreciated learning more about the views of the disability community and how their life experiences influence what I consider to be a good thing – a doctor giving a patient all the outcomes and possibilities – and turn it into something more sinister. I found a lot of value in gaining a better understanding of that viewpoint.

The book did lack a cohesive structure; ostensibly it is An Exploration of Dying in America, but it veered into abortion, the prison system, and the author's antagonism toward the Catholic Church.

For someone looking for an unbiased look at dying, this is not the book for you. But if you are looking for a deeper understanding of the different organizations that are involved in how we die or a book to help spark additional conversation and depth of understanding, this book will help you on your journey.

I received this book through the Early Reviewer program in exchange for an honest review.

An intense, thought provoking, read. Neumann's writing draws you in, and keeps you going despite the often emotionally difficult subject matter. While the book addresses sometimes controversial and opposing positions regarding aid in dying, it was clear to me that Neumann has taken the time to research and get to know people on all sides of the debate, though, like many of us, it also seems her personal experience of watching a parent die, has distinctly shaped her perspective on the matter (as it has mine). A worthy read. Received as part of the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program.½

From the first page, I was emotionally attached and almost wept, having been reminded of my mother's and twin brother's recent deaths. The hospice experience is different in almost all cases. In my case, my mother’s hospice experience was reprehensible. My brother’s was laudable. The book explained the difference between my brother's care in a facility that had control over him, my mother-in-law’s in an assisted living facility where she had control over her own wishes, and my mother’s whose care was in my hands. I believe that I was deceived by hospice workers, and that she was led to a swift death. The book could not corroborate that, but some of the experiences I read about confirmed my beliefs.
Since death is never the desired outcome for any of us, I hoped the book would shed some new light on how to make it easier to deal with, regardless of whether or not it was someone else’s diagnosis that was being faced, or eventually, my own. For myself, I have made the decision to have palliative care, rather than extreme measures to keep me alive in pain and with no quality of life; however, I wanted to explore my options and hoped this book would provide a more nuanced approach to the subject.
The author’s research and experience with this subject is obvious as she lays out the concerns of those in the medical services industry, those occupied by religious issues, and the legal options that are available in different situations. She presents the thoughts of patients, at the end of their lives, and bureaucracies that have to carry out their wishes. She describes her feelings as a hospice worker, explaining that she preferred some patients to others. I found her inability to show compassion for a prisoner, while she was only too happy to not only show compassion, but to develop a long term relationship with a wealthy patient, a bit disconcerting, disingenuous, and off-putting. I believe that when it comes to dying, the needs of all should be considered equal. It made me doubt her sincerity and purpose in writing the book. I began to feel that it was to assuage her own guilt and grief, rather than to truly seek a method that would provide “The Good Death”. Also, I would have preferred more recent references. Hers were at least 3 years old and many were older, at the time of publication.
I did learn a lot, however, since I had not realized that there was such a marked difference in the approach to dying among the many disparate groups lobbying for and against the right to die. I had not realized that, in some cases, choosing not to have life saving efforts could be ignored by the hospital, the prison or the government. I had not realized that a hospitalist, with no relationship to you, no idea of your former vitality, strength of character or fortitude, would be the one to instruct you on your future, its darkest possibilities as well as its brightest. Making such a momentous decision, to have or refuse care, at a time when you were suffering and trying to recover, might not be the optimal moment. Who decides if you will have a quality of life? Do they know what you consider a quality of life. My mother said she would not mind living in a wheelchair if she could still do the simple things she enjoyed, like family, friends, reading, and watching TV.
I had not realized that the disabled, as a group, were against a patient’s right to die because they believe that they will be induced to remove themselves from life support by a member of the medical staff, like a hospitalist, who believes they are irredeemable because of what they perceive as their poor quality of life, but what is, to that disabled person, a life they are accustomed to and enjoy, a life they wish to continue. I had not realized that in a Catholic hospital, a patient’s wish to die could be ignored. I found it strange that the “church” would think that being attached to tubes was perhaps G-d’s will, in some way and not actually external human intervention that interferes with G-d’s will. I had not realized that in prison, a patient cannot choose to end his life and refuse treatment, because society cannot be robbed of the opportunity to punish the prisoner, even if that prisoner has been sentenced to death. Society, apparently, only has the right to pull that plug. Each group views the right to die, or to prevent the right to die, from its own lens. Many simply refuse to hear any other side of the argument, but their own. I was not completely sure which view the author preferred, even at the end of the book. The only thing I did conclude, like the author, is that there is no good death. No one prefers to die, unless under extreme duress, and at that time, they might not be fully capable of making such a decision. Still, I myself prefer to make the judgment and decide how I want to be treated at the end of my life, while I am in my right mind and healthy enough to choose my own path.
The laws are not uniform from place to place, hospital, home, prison, religious hospital, catholic doctor, lay doctor, or lay hospital, and guidance is lacking for the caregiver and guardian. It is imperative that the patient or guardian understand his/her rights when in such a dire situation.
Medical personnel often opt out of treatments that they know will not guarantee them a cure, but will surely guarantee that their final days are filled with discomfort. Often, those that opt out, live longer because they are not being fed poison and deal with a different kind of stress. If one is able to afford help and medications to alleviate pain, it seems that the conditions at home make for a happier recovery as the patient can lead a normal life for as long as possible.
There are definite drawbacks to our health care system. Nurses aides who care for the ill and infirm are often paid less to care for an adult, than they are paid to care for a child, which is a far more pleasant experience when bodily functions fail. Doctors are often poorly trained when it comes to explaining the options we have at the end of our lives. Bureaucracies often unfairly dictate our options to us. Each patient really needs to be evaluated separately, so that the doctor/custodian/protector/warden/priest/rabbi approaches the conversation in a tailor made way for that person and is not giving a one-size fits all canned speech which could be so demoralizing that the patient loses all hope, even to enjoy some peace at the end of his days .
I won this book from librarything.com in exchange for an honest review.

I just finished reading The Good Death An Exploration of Dying in America. It was insightful and covered a lot of topics I did not know. One was that "three interdependent institutions that have some jurisdiction over how we die; the medical industry, religion and the law." The book addressed a lot of issues about patient rights in Catholic run hospitals--the quality of care is comparable to other hospitals except in cases of abortion and DNR, and that 1 out of 6 patients are treated in Catholic run hospitals. I do not agree that religious rules should supersede patients wishes.

There was also important information about the hospice movement and even hospice services in prisons. In one prison, Mohawk prison they allowed inmates to become hospice volunteers. It wasn't a perfect system, but it is a move in the right direction. Overall, this book brings to light a lot of issues that are not frequently addressed in our society.

An interesting read … such good information and some great stories about people known by the author. The anecdotal segments were so compelling that I had a hard time putting the book down. Talk about a thought-provoking! My mind is on overdrive after finishing this book. I particularly enjoyed Evelyn & Marvin in Chapter 9. In many ways, their story reminded me of my mother and stepfather.

I have long believed it important that we consider how individuals who are close to us might like to be treated toward the end of their lives. It's not a one-size-fits-all thing. And in turn, each of us might want to think through how we might want our own end to be. Heroic measures and the many treatments available through advancements in technology might be things we appreciate at a certain age, yet those same procedures might be loathsome at a later time in our lives. In many ways, learning, discussing, making decisions, and providing the means for these end-of-life decisions to be carried out – all that is as important, or more important, than making a will & determining who we want to get our stuff after we're gone. I recommend this book.

This was a wide-ranging discussion of death and dying, covering hospice care, right to die issues, disability issues, and dying in prison. The author is a hospice worker. Each chapter had a different focus and included many personal stories by the author. I thought it was a good read overall.

Combination memoir and history of hospice, right-to-die, right-to-live. Neumann writes a slightly disjointed tale of dying, loss, grief, and a search for what constitutes a "good death."

**This was an advanced reader copy won through the LibraryThing Early Reviewers program.**

In her book The Good Death: An Exploration of Dying in America, Ann Neumann challenges the idea that we must extend human life at whatever cost–financial, physical, emotional or spiritual. Like Neumann, I provided the intimate work of caring for my dying father. My father may have had a “good enough” death under my roof while Neumann’s father had a “good enough” death at a hospice facility, but our journeys meandered similarly. However, The Good Death is not the end-of-life care examination I preconceived; it covers a great deal more territory.

Neumann shares how it is easier to explain the work of mourning than the emotion of it, so if Neumann and I ever meet, we are more likely to swap stories about the legalities of disposing human excretions than the emotional complexities of administering care to someone we love while that person takes swats at us. Consequently, at times I experienced The Good Death as a parade of factual information.

Neumann steps away from her personal story to discuss the history of hospice and outlines the cost of futile care. She then breaks down the players involved with end-of-life decision making who interject their “beliefs” into the doctor-patient relationship via law, policies and social movements. She continues her exploration into other forms of resistance such as pro-life rallies and the organization Not Dead Yet. Lastly, she meets with those who live and work in correctional centers.

In The Good Death, Neumann challenges my assumptions about quality of life and proximity of death when she introduces readers to Bill Peace, aka Bad Cripple. Bill’s story exemplifies how people have a preconceived notion about what it is to live with disability and the suggestion that maybe a life like his is not worth living. When Neumann turns her attention toward people, as she does with Bill, her writing is most compelling.

I appreciate Neumann’s discussion of viewpoints that run in opposition to her own. For example, she clearly does not agree with the mission of Not Dead Yet but she gives them a full and fair hearing. Neumann writes compellingly about how complicated compassion can be. People don’t feel it the same way for everyone, though they may have similar situations. Her sharp examination of her own belief system emerges as a strength.

The relentless presentation of facts in The Good Death can invite distraction, regardless of the fact that Neumann’s writing is tight and to the point. This would not deter a motivated reader, but the book has the greatest impact when it tells the story of people.

Incidentally, those of you who read Smoke Gets in Your Eyes: And Other Lessons from the Crematory by Caitlin Doughty know that she created The Order of the Good Death in 2011 to bring a realistic discussion of death back into popular culture. The Good Death isn’t that book and doesn’t reference it.

Read the full review at http://reblnation.com/book-review-the-good-death-by-ann-neumann/

Having previously enjoyed longform investigative research (think Mary Roach, Sarah Vowell, etc.), I was intrigued by the preface of The Good Death. I was happy to see that my initial interest was not misplaced. Neumann's approach to this topic is personal and at times quite raw. I enjoyed her mixture of exploring the microcosms (personal stories) and macrocosms that define our understanding of death.

I enjoyed this book, which focused on end-of-life issues. I had expected it to be similar to Atul Gawande's "Being Mortal," but the emphasis was actually very different. Although as other reviewers noted, the organization was at times unclear, Neumann covered topics ranging from the Death With Dignity movement, the controversy surrounding the Terri Schiavo case, disability rights, hospice care, conditions for prisoners, and the pro-life movement.

Tearful read at times with the author very open about her experience. Sometimes I wondered about the book's organization, but it's one I would recommend to help us all start to have more honest dialogue about death and what each of us hopes or expects for ourselves and our families.

Edit 06/16: I've just reread this book. I've added a star for 5 stars and have purchased an extra copy for a relative. This book ultimately prompted me to prepare my own advanced directive paperwork after stalling on it for a couple of years. After doing so, I got past the emotions and awkwardness around this subject and gave book another chance. So glad I did.
What I got from a second, more clear-headed read was better perspective on the role of the Catholic Church in healthcare and how I don't want that to affect my wishes, and things I can do to address that. I am more interested in exploring hospice and elder care with my family while they're in good health, and have a better idea of what to look and ask for about institutions as well as questions that I should ask family. I'm also motivated to learn about the beliefs of hospice organizations and volunteers. If you, like me, find the subject of death more difficult to talk or think about than you might admit, I would highly recommend this book and take your time in reading it.

Well researched and interesting . Many sides of the issue of what constitutes a good death are provided without lending credence to any particular one. The reader can make up his own mind or realize there is no good death., to recommend ....there's just death as the author does say. Worth a read.½

With a heart-wrenching first chapter, this book is a very interesting work on end of life care. Though biased, it was incredibly informative and thought-provoking without, somehow, being particularly morbid. What the book lacked, however, was a clear structure that would have made the information, anecdotes and facts, appear much more strongly linked. Instead, the chapter splits are fairly meaningless and the almost stream of consciousness change from one subject to another makes it difficult to focus and clearly understand the importance of select stories and data. Even though I do not typically read non-fiction, I definitely enjoyed this book and I feel like I have a better understanding of life right before death than I did before.

I was looking forward to this book a great deal, having both parents and in-laws facing end-of-life decisions. I can easily recommend it. This book is very helpful, with practical information on just what to expect and what constitutes a "good" end.

In The Good Death, Ann Neumann reviews the various factors that affect end-of-life care in the United States, including the influences of religion, financial status, government policies, and pressure groups, as well as the roles of family, hospices, and physicians and other medical personnel. Grounded in extensive research and personal experience, both within her family and as a hospice volunteer, Neumann compassionately and even-handedly addresses what each of us will face, to some degree (absent a fatal accident or sudden death). Her dissection of the way the American way of death works is beautifully and conversationally written, illustrated with the stories of some of the patients she met. One chapter is devoted to the unique perspectives of the incarcerated and of the handicapped.

Neumann concludes that there is no such thing as a "good death," but the choices the patient (and/or the patient's family) makes can render it "tolerable." This book has instrumentally influenced my own end-of-life planning and has reassured me that my family made the best decisions for my father (coincidentally, I began reading it on the eighth anniversary of his death). I recommend it to everyone whose age or physical condition (or that of a loved one) suggests that such planning should be undertaken sooner rather than later.½

Excellent must read book on death and dying. Many topics raised by religious leaders, do gooders and people who are in the last stages of life. This is a must read for anyone who works in health care and those who have family or friends who have reached the last stages of life.

A very good overview of dying in the US, from hospice, to death with dignity, to the right-to-life movement. It needed an editor, though. And the author's bias also showed in quite a few places. I agreed with her view, so it didn't bother me, but could put off other readers.

All in all, if you think you will ever have to care for someone during their last days, this is pretty much a must-read.

I almost didn't know if I could get through this book, and I have read many books on this topic. But Ann's first chapter was a killer for me as I took care of my dying mother for 2 years and it about did me in. To watch my best friend dying, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop this process, it took me 6 years to be able to let go of harbored anger towards her, towards siblings, towards myself. 6 years to be able to even speak about her without sobbing. So, Ms Neumann's remembrances were just a little too close for comfort. But, this is an important topic and I soldiered through her pain, and relived my own.

In The Missionary Position, written by Christopher Hitchens, he relates a story about a man/woman dying under the care of Mother Teresa. She did not believe in giving pain relief as she felt that suffering brought a person closer to God. She says this to the person who is in unrelenting pain, (paraphrasing) "Your pain is God kissing you." And the person looked at her and said, "please tell God to quit kissing me so much."

While I am not here to debate Christopher Hitchens, his book and Mother Teresa, it does speak to Ann Neumann's topic. Who is anyone to tell a dying person in pain how they should die? How they should deal with pain? Embrace it as another of life's journeys and suffer? or fight it? or receive the ultimate gift of choosing how and when to die? We aren't talking suicide. This is very different from that and totally no one's business. If religious people believe in God, then let God and the dying work this out for themselves. God doesn't need middle men dictating how a person chooses to bring about the best death possible.

I'm not sure there is a such thing as a good death as Neumann states, but I believe there is a chance for a pretty good one if we allow each person to be in charge of their body, their soul, their mind and their feelings. Everyone should be allowed to die with dignity, and the definition of that is different for each of us. And let it be that way.

Do we have to be cautious about assisted dying? Yes. But when medical records support death is imminent, then it becomes no one's business but the dying and their family. And not even the family really. But, I do believe most people would seek guidance and love from those closest to them.

There are many topics in the book in regards to dying, I found the prison information fascinating.

It is books like Ms. Neumann's that bring these topics out in the open for discussions. It is my hope that more states will allow for doctor assisted passings -- gentle, loving and in control to the very end. We should have that right over ourselves.

Another good book to read on this topic is Sherwin Nuland's How We Die as he looks at dying with dignity. And everyone should read Jessica Mitford's book, The American Way of Death.

The issues brought up in this book resonated with so much of my life. I watched both of my grandfathers die in hospice - one quickly and one slowly enough that he outlived his initial referral. I've been a hospice volunteer. My mother has a terminal diagnosis and has had palliative care built into her plan of care from the start, although she has far outlived her initial prognosis. In my work as a nurse, I've been with parents as they watch their children die, and done what I could to comfort both parent and baby. I've had conversations with friends, family, and coworkers about these difficult subjects. How would you want to die? How would you want to live? What is a life worth living? These are questions with no simple answers, but rather ideas that need to be talked over and explored throughout our lives.

This book does a great deal of exploration, touching on such issues as physician assisted suicide, brain death versus cessation of cardiac activity in determining end of life, and the ever increasing difficulty of deciding when to stop the escalation of medical care, all interspersed with the author's experiences as a hospice volunteer. The author's perspective on life and death definitely comes through in the writing, particularly in the discussion of the Terri Schiavo case, but she does seem to acknowledge the variety of opinions on the subject. This is a book to provide an overview of the issues surrounding death in our modern world, but more importantly it is a book to spark discussion about our own beliefs and opinions.