Thanks to her old sweetheart, Sheriff Jerry Don Parker, high school wasn't all that bad for Jolene -- if you don't count the scandal with the non-teaching English teacher, the daily death threats from a jealous rival, or the cocky come-ons from the perverted principal. Okay, maybe things weren't all that great back then after all, but with bodies turning up faster than beer cans in the river, they're a darn sight worse now. And it doesn't help matters that Rhonda-the-lying-slut Davenport is telling anyone who will listen that Jolene ought to be the one showing up dead.