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#13 "Play it again, hands!"
Jerome (Jerry) just moved in and has found a lovely piano in pristine condition in the attic of their new home. Consequently his parents decide to get him piano lessons. Besides having strange dreams about his piano teacher, Jerry also starts seeing the ghost of the piano's previous owner! And this ghost has a warning for Jerry... "Stay away from my piano!" This was a meh for me. ( )

To make up for the cool Goosebumps book [book: Be Careful What You Wish For...] we now get the atrocious [book: Piano Lessons Can Be Murder].

What a mess of a book.

I guess this was banking off the idea that most children have taken piano lessons at some point in their lives and disliked it? But the protagonist doesn't even dislike the piano lessons. He just thinks his piano is haunted. Then there's the weird piano teacher, robots, a monster that isn't a monster... it's such a mess. Even the ghost isn't all that compelling.

So yeah. There's something ~*spooky*~ about human hands playing pianos by themselves. Even though the robots themselves have hands. I don't know.

Why did I read this. ( )

## Play it again, hands!

Piano Lessons Can Be Murder is one of those early Goosebumps yarns that really strained my interest in the series as a kid. Unwanted music lessons, while common for kids, is niche enough that the bulk of readers won't find the title interesting. The boring -- boring! -- cover art doesn't help, either.

[N.B. This review includes images, and was formatted for my site, dendrobibliography -- located here.]

Jerry's story starts in the midst of a fascinating ghost story. Having just moved into a creaking old house with this parents, he finds an antique piano abandoned to the attic. Set up with the hope of learning it, Jerry finds the piano haunted: Night after night he's awoken to the haunting melodies of a long-dead woman sitting at his piano. With Jerry's attention, the ghost's face promptly melts and blood pools from where she once had hands.

This is spooky.

Where the story goes from here is not. Piano Lessons Can Be Murder is hindered by a seriously weak second half, eschewing the ghostly chills in favor of sci-fi robotics and mad scientists. It's as unexpected and nonsensical as it sounds based on the first half. I didn't like it or find it scary as a kid, and I still don't.

Still, the ghost story is built up really effectively, and the pay-off it gives (despite the ridiculous robots) isn't bad. It's a decent Goosebumps entry, but only that.

R.L. Stine's Goosebumps (1992–1997):
#12 Be Careful What You Wish For... | #14 The Werewolf of Fever Swamp ( )

I'm not sure how R.L. Stine came up with so many ideas for Fear street and his goosebump series. He definitely has a vast imagination, filled with either creative plots from something that makes sense - or something like this, taking the mundane to make it bizarre. The writing is catered to young children, but even then the italics get irritating. Some of the chapters end on the false cliffhangers, but not as badly as some of the other goosebumps. The story was a little silly, even if the robotics were convenient. Not enough is explained so this one comes off emptier than it should. I did chuckle at Bonkers the cat; reminded me of my own mean cat, Malz, who randomly attacks unsuspecting people. ( )