Sacred Companions
by David G. Benner
InterVarsity Press (2002)


Description of the Book
Sacred Companions describes spiritual friendship and spiritual direction for the contemporary Christian who wishes to be intentional about growing in their Christian life. Benner writes as a psychologist and a spiritual director, specifically aiming to describe these ancient practices to protestant Christians for whom the practices are new and unfamiliar.

Interpretation of the Book
The book is organized in three major sections. The first describes spiritual friendship, an intentional relationship in which spiritual growth is a stated goal. The second section focuses on spiritual direction, and the third section outlines specific scenarios combining friendship and direction, for small groups and in marriages.

The author writes comfortably, providing an approachable environment for Christians of all backgrounds who wish to grow in fruitfulness and seek spiritual accompaniment as the means to help them. Benner lightly references his background as a psychologist, but focuses more on his (mostly self-trained) spiritual direction practice. He introduces classic practices such as centering prayer and the Ignatian Examen, usually by telling stories of his experience as a director or a directee.

Application
This may be the friendliest, most approachable book available on the art of spiritual direction.

It strongly prefers the approach of spiritual direction to more general spiritual friendship, but makes only passing reference to the Celtic approach of anamchara, or soul friendship. The last section’s discussion of spiritual accompaniment in small groups is intriguing, and the author has great hopes for this blend of spiritual friendship and the small group movement. I found myself wanting more information on this subject. He also writes from his experience working with his wife in bi-directional spiritual direction.

I must also note here that the book’s hidden gem is its 28-page annotated bibliography, organized by topics and referencing current and classic works in related fields. This section of the book would be worth the cover price, even if the book were disappointing.
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Loved this book. A great introduction to spiritual direction. Will definitely be re-reading ( )

All in all, a book worth reading. Benner consistently uses the pronoun "he" in describing God, which is distracting, but easily overcome. Although I find it tends to narrow my notion of God to fit the human, I come across it so often I translate it without thinking.

Benner's use of the term "Christian God" alternately enrages me and confuses me. Are there other gods Benner is leaving out of the conversation? Is he trying to say that God is Christian to the exclusion of other religions? Is he perhaps referring to Christ? Hmmm. I always thought there was only one God. Maybe I was wrong. Shall we have a war to see whose God is stronger? Oh. Wait. We're doing that already.

However, a few pearls lurk in these pages, too: He quotes Richard Foster as having written (re: spiritual formation groups) "give encouragement as often as possible; advice, once in a while; reproof, only when absolutely necessary, and judgment, never" (172).

"Spiritual accompaniment is accompaniment in love. Love is the motive for attentive listening. Love is the motive for offering attentiveness to the Spirit instead of mere advice. Love is the motive for any reproof that must be given. And love is the motive for the over-all climate of encouragement and support" (173).

Benner has a bibliography by subject, and an annotated bibliography at the back. Almost worth the price right there!!

Comments written to members of my graduating class:

My latest book read has been Spiritual Companions by David Benner. My guess is that Stephanie, at least, has read it. I appreciated his annotated bibliography in the back. I disliked (but was able to ignore for the most part) Benner continually using a gendered pronoun (in this case, "he") for God. I screamed, ranted, and marked up my book when he would write about "the Christian God." Exactly what is that supposed to mean? That God is only Christian? That other religions have different gods? That he is referring to Christ? At any rate, luckily, he didn't do that too often and I was able to take away some good stuff. Particularly evocative to me (positively or negatively:

"'What makes it hard for you to engage in prayer as attentive listening to God as opposed to simply talking [to God]?' (106). This is THE prayer question for me right now: how to engage in prayer that is not simply talking to but also listening to the answer!

"'The only way to come to know Jesus is through the Gospels. There is no substitute for meditation on Scripture as a route to a deep, personal engagement with God. Attunement to the Christian God must always involve attending to Jesus." In the margin I wrote 'Attunement to GOD must involve attending to God's manifestations.' Reading this now makes me sad for the limitations humanity wants to place on God…and on each other and their access to God (113).

"'We could describe spiritual directors as persons who, in the language of the New American Standard Bible translation of Acts 17:27, grope after God. One who gropes after God seeks, but as a blind person, without certainty of where God is to be found. Certainty about how and where God is to be found leads to a presumption that interferes with the provision of spiritual direction. God turns up where we least expect to encounter [God] and often fails to be where we feel most sure [God] should be' (149). *could, but we won't! And he didn't mean it, either.

"'the majority of the spiritual companionship…. serving as a sacred companion forms an important part of her calling' (153). The notion of being someone's 'sacred companion' evokes a deeper element of trust and commitment than merely a 'spiritual companion' does. It makes me want to say, that truly, it is as sacred friends that we continue on our journey. Perhaps once a month is too often for us to check in, perhaps we need more flexibility to check in even when it isn't "our turn" (can anyone remember when our turns are??!). But it is a sacred thing to me that we are there for each other. Am I getting too, too?

"Benner even brings up my old nemesis, Richard Foster! "Foster makes a suggestion for spiritual formation groups that I think is at least as relevant for spiritual accompaniment groups: 'Give encouragement as often as possible; advice, once in a while; reproof, only when absolutely necessary, and judgment, never' (from Foster's forward to A Spiritual Formation Workbook by James Bryan Smith and Lynda Graybeal (San Francisco: HarperSanFranscisco, 1999), 9) (172).

Spiritual accompaniment is accompaniment in love. Love is the motive for attentive listening. Love is the motive for offering attentiveness to the Spirit instead of mere advice. Love is the motive for any reproof that must be given. And love is the motive for the overall climate of encouragement and support" (172-73).

Recently, I’ve started getting interested in the Spiritual Direction, so I picked up this book. I expected it to be a practical book about how to give spiritual direction. And, I’m glad to say that I was not disappointed.

Dr. Benner gives us two paths of “Spiritual Accompaniment”: spiritual friendship (which is informal) and spiritual direction (which is more formal). He also gives useful examples (even transcripts of actual sessions) and general principles which are quite informative for anyone considering pursuing spiritual direction, either as director or directee. My favorite chapters are probably the last two, though. Here, he considers placing spiritual accompaniment in two specific contexts. First, there is the small group. His chapter here outlines the use of the Lectio Divina (a form of devotional reading for those who are less familiar with it) in fostering deep spiritual sharing in a small group rather than simply using a small group for fellowship or Bible study. Second, there is marriage. Sadly, many marriages, even if successful, lack spiritual content, and Dr. Benner offers ideas of how actively pursuing spiritual friendship and direction with your spouse can be a relationship which draws you together spiritually.

Sacred Companions is written for someone who is relatively new to spiritual accompaniment, and as such is written with relatively little jargon. Also, he includes an extensive topical list of suggestion for further reading on a number of topics, from prayer to Lectio to spiritual direction and theology.

If you’re looking for a book that’s a good introduction to spiritual accompaniment, then this is a book I would certainly recommend. ( )