Even if the outcome was realistic and from the middle of the story I saw it coming, I hate that it had to be this way. I would wish Cal's ex to be hated and to be an outcast. She is the worst. An so are the dear family members of Cal. It is always disturbing to see people so stuck on their faith. Even Cal. I wonder if Cal would have behaved different if he were straight an had a gay brother. Probably not. ( )

I could separate this book into two parts. The first part was okay, up until the point where Michael decided that he was gonna let a guy touch his dick, even though he never had any kind of relationship with men, not emotional, not physical, he didn't even think about kissing a guy. He decided he was gonna break up with his girlfriend, and move out (okay, that was a wise decision). So, all of this would have been fine, but there was no build-up, no secret glances, touches, nothing, nada. And I love slow-burn, and missed these things. It was a snap decision, in a "I just realized" way. And that was frustrating. And then I got to the author' note at the end. And he (I assume the author is a man) explained why he couldn't go into Michael's story, how he felt about his sexuality. This wasn't his story. This was mostly about Cal. His struggles, his demons So I get it, kind of. *sceptical*

The other half of the book was understandably more emotional... and I held out hope for Cal until the last minute.

The most interesting part for me was that, though I'm not a religious person, I understood Cal's beliefs. For every question Michael throw at him, he had a reasonable, well-thought-out answer. Well, all but one: "You think one faith is right and the others are all wrong? You've decided Christianity is the only real truth?"

I hope that this wasn't the last we saw Michael. I think he deserves a second chance. And I'm so curious what Cal wrote about him.

This book has an important message, so I have one to the author too: Keep being strong!
( )

This is an incredibly difficult review for me to write. And most of it I'll put under spoilers for anyone who wants to go in blind. I tried, I honestly tried to read it without having any idea what to expect. But I found I couldn't. I was struggling with one of the MCs. I was actually debating putting the book aside and just giving up. However I decided to dig a little. Read some of the other reviews hidden under spoilers. And that was the best thing I could have done. Because OMG this book!

It's absolutely brilliantly written. You get completely sucked in, live the lives of the MCs. It takes a truly talented writer to achieve this kind of depth in a story. I've labelled it "not necessarily a romance" for lack of a better explanation. Because it is a romance. And now I'll add my spoiler tag Just one that ends differently than expected.

Even knowing how it ends, I read on. Even though I hoped what I read wouldn't end the way it did, I read on. Because I simply had to. And while usually I WANT the happy ending, the HEA, this story was too good to dismiss. It's a romance, just with an ending nobody wants to think about. We always hope that our guys can find the strength to go on. To find the light at the end that makes it all worthwhile. However, the reality is that this isn't the case. No matter what pairing, be it mm or mf, things can and do go wrong and sometimes the only way out seems to be to just end it all.

So, if you want to read a story that feels so real, knowing it will rip your heart to pieces, please read this! Just make sure you take heed of the warnings, because they aren't there just for show. ( )