3.5 Hearts

Full disclosure. I’ve never read anything by Cole McCade or his other alter ego Xen., but that doesn’t mean I haven't seen him around GR with the multitudes of praise he’s gotten especially over his Criminal Intentions series. Hence, I’ve been intrigued, and when this came across the blog, I thought why not? The publisher states that this is a “highly romantic contemporary love story”, and if that’s what you’re seeking, then come on over!

As per the blurb, Summer returns home and to the very school he once attended, hired to be a teacher in training to the most intimidating man he has ever known. To say the least, his anxiety is ratcheted up several thousand notches but for some reason, when push comes to shove, Summer can overcome that base fear, setting a precedent that creates a challenge between himself and the professor he’s fascinated with. Summer only has to be brave daily, and he’ll be rewarded with a kiss by the same man who unnerves him as much as turns him on.

Fox Iseya is not to be trifled with. He doesn’t quite know how he got wrangled into this situation with Summer, but he obviously can’t resist the enticing younger man either. Sadly, Fox has secluded himself in a fortress of grief for the last 20 or so years, and though Summer confounds him, though Summer captivates him, he’s determined to stay aloof and unattached. Fox is held by a prison of his own making, and as days and weeks go by, the push pull with Summer evolves into so much more than anticipated, causing a resigned and staunch belief that he could never be what Summer deserves.

Admittedly, I had certain expectations and knew that this wasn’t going to be some dark gritty drama. What I didn’t expect was how descriptive the imagery and how flowery the prose were going to be, especially regarding all the feelings, desires, and worries these two men have. Also, each kiss, each step towards a deeper intimacy, was detailed extensively lending a very emotional, heavy atmosphere. Some might appreciate this and some might not...

Overall, I’m not typically for over descriptive, drawn out explanations or details, for my ferret brain gets easily distracted and impatient. Regardless, this was a beautifully written age gap, second chance romance that surprised me. It’s lush and painful, hopeful and sad, and yes, so very romantic. McCade gives a very intricate and expressive look at Summer and Fox’s inner turmoil and growth. I could appreciate it for what it was, and if that’s the type of story you love, then dig in! I’m definitely intrigued by this author, and I definitely want to explore what else he has in his backlist as well as any future endeavors!

Thank you to the author and publisher for a copy in exchange for an honest review

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This is the story you want if you crave the cinniest of cinnamon rolls trying to unlock the iron-clad defenses of a man so in pain he's nearly a black hole. It's less a reality-based story and more a complex illustration of the fine art of magnetic attraction versus polar opposites. They should not be attracted. But they SEE each other. The story is in how long it takes the one in pain to grapple with that pain. And the epilogue is lovely.

And Summer's mom is ADORABLE. ( )

I love Cole, I liked this book just fine. When Summer talked about Khalaji I thought I would never be more happy ( )

I had never read anything by this author before, but this was recommended by a friend on another site so thought why not...and I have to say I liked it enough that I am going to read the second book in this series, Just Like This. The character of Fox could have been given a slightly warmer and more forgiving personality. I can't imagine a long term anything with him without some changes. Overall, they can both eventually be described as smart, witty, courageous, and inspiring. The author has a beautiful style of writing that keeps you turning pages and hoping that these two get there happy ever after. It is a May-December romance, and I liked the way that their age differences didn't come up in every other chapter and in every decision they made together. I'm really looking forward to book 2. ( )

CW: anxiety and on page panic attacks, depression, talk of suicidal ideation, bullying, loss of spouse and parent in the past.
There are other content warnings which are mentioned in the beginning of the book.

I know I don’t read enough ownvoices gay romance stories even though I like the genre a lot, but I’m always looking out for more. And Cole McCade is definitely one author I look forward to even though I did abandon his Criminal Intentions aerial after reading nine or ten episodes because it was too dark for my taste. But this is a new romance series and I was so excited when I got the ARC.

While this series is definitely not dark, it’s also not like the romcoms I’m used to reading. Both the characters of Fox and Summer are the products of their pasts and traumas, and their depictions felt so real and visceral. Summer suffers from anxiety and panic attacks but he is also brave enough to give voice to his desires when challenged and I admired him so much for being compassionate and relentlessly trying to get out of his comfort zone.

Fox on the other hand has closed himself off for years because he couldn’t process the grief of losing his wife. He is a professor everyone is quite scared of because he is a very tough taskmaster, but underneath he is so soft and just needs someone to show him that deserves to live and love again.

Cole has a way with words and the writing really is exquisite at places, tugging at your heartstrings so much that you can feel all the pain and the joy that the characters are experiencing. Even though I did feel that the falling in love part happened a bit fast, it was still very believable and I was rooting for them all the way. I wasn’t sure I would like the setting of the boarding school before I started reading the book, and I’m still not entirely impressed with it because the concept of rich kids being bullies and traumatizing each other is not my kind of narrative, but I liked the direction the author took that particular subplot in. There were not many other side characters except Summer’s mom who only made a couple of appearances, but was delightful.

Overall, this was a very emotional love story with great depth in the characters and I thoroughly loved my reading experience. And I’m quite excited to see where the series goes next. ( )