Pepperland is a
tickle of joy on
the blue belly
of the
Universe!
Right, Max?

Yes,
Your Blueness!

And so the great Blue Meanie unleashed his forces on the innocents of Pepperland: The Snapping Turtle Turks came snapping, the Apple Bonkers came bonking, and the Dreadful Flying Glove came flying and devouring anything LOVE-ly.

Old Fred,
fly for aid . . .
in the
Yellow Submarine!

But I can’t
even make
my soap
float!

At first it was a movie. Well, even before that it was a stereo album. And before that, a song by John Lennon & Paul McCartney. Right? But then it came out in a simple little paperback (New American Library, 1968). I happened to find it as a hardback with library binding and snapped it up to share with our children, for whom The Yellow Submarine had been the cartoon to end all cartoons. As sturdy as it was, it has been well-worn in our family, so that the Sea of Holes and the Sea of Green, and even the old Blue Meanie himself appear on pages that have had to be taped back in place.

Oh, I won’t even attempt to review the book. You gotta expeerience it—with the Beatles’ record playing in the background. Fortunately, this volume is illustrated with the original masterpieces preserved from the movie, so you can see what you’re hearing—er, reading. You know what I mean. So no review from me.

But this edition of the book does contain an appendix on the origin of the Yellow Submarine. I’ll simply quote that:

"‘The Yellow Submarine’ is a Bildungsroman in the epic-tragic-comic picaresque tradition. It is of dubious authorship, attributed most frequently to Anonymous, or someone else of that name. The text in question is derived from an ode, referred to in the more popular tradition as a song, obviously, or probably, or perhaps oral. Or written, but most likely oral. It has been attributed to the bards Lennon and McCartney (henceforward L & M)."

After determining that L & M reside in a xanthon submarinion, this appendatory note concludes authoratively:

"The submarine did, in fact, participate in the rescue of Pepperland, which at the moment was ruled by a mythical gang of rabble led by the mythical Der Meanische Blaue.
In conclusion, I say that I am right and all other scholars are wrong!! Q. E. D."

But lest you grow complacent, I must warn you that the last double-page spread of the book itself shows all four Beatles live and in person, saying in unison, “PSSSSSST! We have a very serious announcement. / Newer and Bluer Meanies have been / reported in your vicinity. / We would like to suggest that you . . . . . start singing.”

Speaking for myself, I’ll tell you: I’m singing at the top of my voice. For the last word I had (shh, we may be under surveillance): there was a New Blue Meanie inhabiting what is widely known as the White House with others scurrying all over what is usually called DC, not to mention one Gondoliza Reece, circling the globe. Shhh. SING!

ALL YOU
NEED IS
L O V E

But never fear. Hope is always near. If your submarine is down and out, someone is thereabout:

I am
Jeremy
Hilary
Boob
Phud. (P. H. D.)

Eminent Physicist
Polyglot Classicist
Prize-winning Botanist
Hard-biting Satirist
Talented Pianist
Good Dentist, too.

Currently writng
Two dozen books
On some three dozen subjects
No one has
Heard of.

Speak Old English,
Middle,
Dialect.
and
Pure.

Ad hoc, ad hoc
And quid pro quo.
So little time
So much to know.

He’s
a nobody

He’s a
real
nowhere
man

He’s a
daffy
old creep

[Oh, and I hear—shhh!—that Jeremy Hilary Boob is also a registered Democrat. Don’t tell. Just whisper.]