December 2022 reread: I still love this book and really adore the MCs. This is longer than many contemporary romances I read, but I feel the length is warranted - so many private moments together that build intimacy AND the right amount of time apart. I still have gripes about the not-great sw thoughts and the bonkers pilot side-story for Stella (every dang book has one lol) but also love how excellent Kirsten Callihan handles STIs. I will likely reread this book often - actually this book and Managed are gonna be reread often!

CW Suicide attempt (historical, off-page, depression, anxiety, abandonment, PTSD, attempted human trafficking historical)

I'm glad we get Jax/John's story now - two years after his suicide attempt. I was worried we wouldn't get his perspective until the last book in the series. I had a lot of feelings for Jax's story as told thru his bandmate (Killian, book 1) and manager's (Scottie or Gabriel if you're nasty, book 2) books. Until now, we've spent a lot of time with other people's feelings about Jax and that night but we never get Jax's words about his own experience. What I loved about Stella was her righteous anger on behalf of Jax - we love his bandmates but they failed in big and little ways after the suicide attempt. So I was happy for Jax that he finally had someone to tell him he did deserve better and then he eventually demanded better when he confronted Killian.

Something unique to this book (and there may be more with this representation that I am not familiar with) is Jax discovering he has an STI in the beginning of the book. I appreciate how that was handled and also how the doctor was non-judgmental and took the time to explain STIs. Romance has a lot of fucking but doesn't always reach the mark in regard to safe practices or even how human anatomy works. . . if I have to read another fucking book about super sperm breaking thru birth control I am going to shit and I'm not kidding. It's kind of shitty to make contraceptive seem flimsy or that super sperm is an actual thing that exists in men who have ripping abs. Anyway - the author makes plain that sometimes, people contract STI's and the best thing we can do is support folks in getting tested and treatment - you do not have to be ashamed.

I rated this book 5 stars because I just loved Jax and Stella AND their romance . . . but there is one area that falls short - that many romance stories fail to properly represent. And that is sex work. Stella is a professional friend - no sex just friendship. We see her interacting with a few clients and she helps them feel confident to try new things or feel less alone. It is a job she enjoyed but has lately felt is draining as no one is her actual friend especially when she needs one. The way her job and the job of professional escort (which can sometimes include sex) is very I AM NOT A WHORE BECAUSE BEING COMPARED TO A SEX WORKER IS AWFUL. I really didn't like this. Later in the book . . . we find that Stella's shitty dad forced her into an escorting situation - which she was clueless about - so she is sensitive to being considered an escort. Fine I get that BUT it is the way sex work is spoken about that bothers me. I felt there was such a missed opportunity for Stella to be like, "I do not provide sex with my services but I respect people who do. My work is work and sex work is work and we should respect people regardless of what we feel about their profession". It's a let down because she did such a good job saying people who contract STI's deserve respect and dignity - like you get it but you also don't lol

Anyway - I loved this book, probably my favorite in the series. It's intense though. These books deal with some serious shit so take care of yourself first! ( )

I’ve been waiting for a while on Jax’s story, from the glimpses we got of him in the previous two books I just knew his story would be sad maybe even tragic. He was going through what I would assume all people go through, depression. Jax never knew how to cope with his depression never wanted to talk to anyone about it because it’s considered taboo. Then along comes Stella, she’s broken too knows what it feels like to be lonely but unlike Jax she copes by helping others not feel lonely. Together they shouldn’t work but they can’t fight their attraction to each other. I loved this story so much because personally I’ve felt how Jax has, felt hopeless so you can resonate with his feelings and I loved how Stella didn’t want to fix him but be there with him and for him. It was a beautiful story about how we shouldn’t treat others with mental health issues as nothing is wrong but accept that and try to be there for them and show them we love them. Jax and Stella was beautiful. ( )

I reallllllly wanted to give this 4 stars but lordy me this was boring. ( )

4.2 stars

Very cute story with likeable characters, great chemistry, and a plausible storyline. I liked that the author talked about something that needs more attention. She did that with grace and care. Parts of it resonated with me. The parts that didn't were still refreshing because it shows how it always differs from person to person but it can still be crippling.

I enjoyed seeing the older characters and hope that the others will get their stories told too. The ending felt a bit rushed or this would have scored higher. ( )

Kristen Callihan is a must read author for me. I do not even read the book description before I purchase because I am so certain I will love anything she writes. Her stories are great but her characters are what really draw me in. The are totally realistic and also completely swoon worthy. I know when I read one of her books I will become totally obsessed with it. ( )