Reads as kind of light...for awhile...

What a surprise. A sweet, harrowing surprise from beginning to end. Glad I had a box of tissues. I'll be reading more from this author. ( )

Sadly this story didn't grab me.
The writing is stellar though.

One thing I really appreciated but at the same time found it weird, is that these guys actually communicated, no secrets, no shyness. Maybe it's an age thing, they both are over 40, and thought they won't waste their time being all mysterious, instead putting all their cards on the table.
Jeremy was like 'Dude, I like you, let's date' and 'I want to fuck but I also don't want to fuck it up, so let's wait with sex', which by the way made it feel really planned and forced to me.
Qay wasn't holding back on his secrets for too long, he came clean right after the first date and warned Jeremy 'I'm fucked up, sure you want to do this, I'm bad news'.
They were upfront with each other.
Bud the rest of the story just didn't work for me.

Contains mentions of abuse, addiction, suicide and mental health issues. ( )

Well, I'm tapping out at about 60%. I just cannot bring myself to finish this book.

Kim Fielding is normally one of my go-to m/m romance authors, and I am sad that I didn't enjoy this book. It sounded promising - like most of her books, it has two "damaged" guys who are trying to make their ways in a world that, let's face, sometimes just isn't fair. But what made me dislike this book, I believe, is that the characters don't feel "equal" to me. Jeremy is nearly perfect - he's caring and kind and has a great job and a nice place to live ( well, until his ex-boyfriend Donny shows up again, I guess ) - and that's nice. But what draws me to Fielding's books is the fact that BOTH of her main characters are "damaged" or angst-ridden or whatever you want to call it, and that isn't this book. And Qay is definitely all sorts of messed up - a former drug addict who is barely scraping by, etc - but it just feels like Jeremy is continually bailing Qay out of trouble and "saving" him. And that feeling isn't why I turn to Fielding's books.

I might not be making sense, haha. Sorry. What I am trying to say is: what draws me to Kim Fielding's books is that both of the main characters are, generally, fucked up and find some sort of happiness with one another. They can be fucked up in different ways, but regardless, they are both messed up in some way. And that isn't what I was getting in this book. Qay is lopsidedly fucked up, and it just feels Jeremy has his shit together and is playing superhero with him. And that isn't what I was expecting or wanting. :(

I'll definitely read more from this author, but I won't be continuing this book. I would say that I won't be finishing this series, but I just realized that I have already purchased the second book in the series...so, maybe. ( )