This is a raw, at times painful, memoir about suicide, mental illness, family, self acceptance, and spiritual journeys. Kelley's brother, Matt, committed suicide shortly before he was to graduate from college, mirroring her own attempt of a few years earlier. For years, she struggles with the idea that she modeled that behavior for him. She shuts down. Can't function. Except to exhibit violence rages, usually taken out against her husband, who must be a saint because this went on for four and a half years and I'm not sure I could have handled that for so long. She discovers Matt's longtime blog and starts reading it three years after his death and gains insights into him she hadn't had before. And she starts healing, to a certain degree. But healing takes time, as does self acceptance, so her cycle of pain, self hatred, anger, and violence continued. It's been over a decade now and she's doing much better, thank God. I wouldn't wish her experience on anyone. She found Buddhism helped give her a sense of peace that her Catholicism she was brought up with did not. She started writing, I assume what became this book. She went to therapy. Now, when she thinks of Matt, she thinks good things, even as they relate to her, and that's what she needed to do the whole time. Recommended for anyone going through a crisis with mental illness or a loved one who has tried or succeeded in committing suicide. It can help open up some doors to the mind and thoughts one might be unaware of otherwise. ( )