Tess Eliot has just lost her job, ended her multi-year relationship with her boyfriend when he tells her that he has been cheating on her, and she's estranged from her brother over an inheritance that he got and she didn't, and she really needs to make some money. Through a weird series of events, she gets hired to write a book on etiquette for the end of the world, which is needed just in time for 12/21/12, when certain groups of people are expecting the end of the world as we know it as prophesied (they think) by the Mayan calendar (it's a whole thing). She sets out to learn as much as she can about the supposed apocalypse, and starts to get pulled into the conspiracy theories against her will. She doesn't forget to write her book, though, with as much humor and good advice as she can think up.

I thought this was a really fun book. There was more of a mystery than I was expecting, which was a bonus. My favorite parts of the book, though, were definitely the chapters in her end of the world etiquette book. They were filled with humor, most of it tongue in cheek, and I found myself looking forward to reading more of them as the book went on. The characters were enjoyable (other than the ones you weren't supposed to like), and I like how the book progressed from start to finish.

In summary, this was a fun, light, quick read, and I enjoyed it very much.

4/5 stars.. ( )

Sometimes you need a nice, short chick-lit to brighten your day. Something funny and easy to read. I thought that was just what I got, when I decided to read Etiquette for the End of the World. I was wrong!

It has the classic chick-lit-start: Woman has been left by boyfriend, lost her job and is desperate for something to happen. Granted, Tess is a bit older than my usual chick-lit-reads protagonists, but actually it never really shows. She could just as well have been 25. She comes across a great opportunity for her to make some money and off we go.

So much in this story seems either irrelevant or coincidental. She just happens to meet a librarian who knows secret stuff and who has a friend who knows more stuff. Jeez, I don’t get why they are a part of the story? She could have come across this secret without introducing more characters that I didn’t care for! Tess ends up in a lot of unrealistic situations which resolves themselves very easily. Seriously, the part about how they got out of the big mansion thingy with the big bad was beyond stupid! Overall the conspiracy theory part was too much and I didn’t care for it. At times the story (well, Tess anyways) was condescending and rude, which, obviously, is never a good thing.

But the story had some good qualities after all. It was somewhat funny. I like the parts about the book - it was funny in a cute way and I would actually have loved to buy that book. Etiquette for the End of the World gets 2 stars for being weirder than I ever thought possible for a chick-lit - but really, read something else. There are plenty of great and funny stories out there!
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With a Mayan prophecy predicting the demise of the world, SOMEONE needs to write an end times book of etiquette so there isn’t panic and bad behavior when civilization collapses, and Tess is determined that the someone will be her. Not that she actually believes the doomsday prophecy, but her wealthy potential employer is almost looking forward its fulfillment, and since Tess’s own life is already pretty much of a disaster she needs the job. Plus she’ll be conferring with a movie star handsome co-worker so it’s all good. Good, that is, until the end-of-life-as-Tess-knows-it prediction starts seeming all too plausible. Heartwarming hilarity ensues. This entertaining romantic thriller is packed with quirky characters and fun galore.

I bought this as an inexpensive Kindle book, and then was able to purchase an even less expensive Audible version which kept me smiling during my commute. ( )

Read This Review & More Like It At Ageless Pages Reviews

Original Review: What the fuck did I just read?

After a couple of days:

Dear Tess Knows Best Eliot,

I’m going through a really difficult time right now. I have to write a review of Etiquette for the End of the World, but even though it was really boring, offensive, and schizophrenic, I can’t come up with anything to say! How do you even start reviewing a book that calls itself a romantic comedy, but is more All About Steve than Annie Hall? The romantic “twist” is so badly telegraphed it hardly counts, and is offensive as hell to boot! Plus, halfway through, the author completely forgot she was writing a romantic comedy and turned it into a conspiracy thriller/supernatural/travel fiction! No, I don’t know how it’s all supposed to work, either. As a famous columnist, and one time chapter header writer on an etiquette guide, can you get me out of this?

Sincerely,
Bored of Everlasting Stupid Tropes, Reading Even Very Irritatingly Exasperating Works for Enthusiastic Review, Even Veritably Enraging Romances

Dear BEST REVIEWER EVER,

When my boyfriend Matt dumped me for my feng-shui expert neighbor, I didn’t sit at home and moan. I went to the bar and ordered laundry-themed drinks from my hot, gay BFF. And when I lost my job writing this column, (sorry this won’t get published in some big-shot NYC newspaper, by the way,) I didn’t wallow in self pity. I went to the bar and ordered laundry-themed drinks from my hot, gay BFF! BEST REVIEWER EVER, what I’m saying is you need to get out of your slump. Fly to Mexico or London or the beach, even if you’re flat broke like yours truly. The change of scenery, and all the gin, will do you good.

If that still doesn’t help BEST REVIEWER EVER, we’re going to have to get drastic. First, steal mail from your 84 year old ex-boss. Then go visit some end of the world loonies and take a massively profitable writing job, even if it will embroil you in an international cult trying to bring about the apocalypse. There, BEST REVIEWER EVER, you’ll meet a smoking hot, mysterious Hollywood exec. who will sweep you off your feet in a whirlwind romance unlike any you have ever know. It’s only a shame he’s also a pathological liar who will tell you his ex-girlfriend stabbed all of his suits, when it was really the cult members, keeping you from getting out while you still can. When he stands you up on New Years, causing you to panic and reveal the detective work you’ve been doing on the side to one of the sketchiest cult members of all, don’t drown your sorrows at the bar…oh no wait, yes do that.

BEST REVIEWER EVER, now’s the part where it gets really tricky. Remember that detective work I mentioned? Well you are going to research a new idea for the end of the world. It will lead you to a librarian who will tell you she found secret plans for a nanobot that could bring down all technology as we know it. Being afraid of these plans falling into wrong hands, she won’t destroy them. She will hide them in an obscure book about beetles. The psycho you’re working for will be obsessed with beetles. His lackey, the one cutting up suits and the one you’re going to have to reveal all these plans to, will steal the book for his boss, inadvertently stealing the apocalypse plans too. I know this is a lot to take in, so pause for a stiff drink.

You may need to take time out for a side plot about your brother stealing your inheritance, I know mine did. This will probably result in baby rabies and a psychic salad-dressing obsessed aunt. You will also start having prophetic dreams about Mexico and earthquakes, just like one of the nutters at the cult. This is totally normal and not mass hysteria, but a tiny bit of the supernatural. Just to spice life up.

Anyway BEST REVIEWER EVER, don’t bother going to the police, because they think you’re nuts. Gather up Gay BFF and fly to London to meet with the cult leader in person. He’ll turn out to be even more mad scientist-y than feared, but you’ll be able to talk your way out of him killing you. You may even get gifts! Make sure to steal a vial of his nanobot solution, because you’re going to need that to prove you haven’t had too many Spin Cycles. On the way home, you’ll meet that same librarian, who’s now a stewardess, and she’ll be able to smuggle the vial through customs for you. This will leave you free to confess to Gay BFF that you’re in love with him. He’ll confess that he’s not really gay; his “boyfriend” is actually his son! (This is a very advanced maneuver, BEST REVIEWER EVER, don’t try this unless you’re sure you’re in a terrible book.) You may now advance to your HEA.

In the end, the Hollywood Exec. will show back up for you to realize he was just a rebound. The government will totally let you go incite hysteria while they quietly deal with the wacko cult leader, whose serum didn’t even work anyway. You’ll settle down to being the stepmother of not-Gay BFF’s kid, while you both make hilarious gay jokes about how could you ever think he was a queen, giiiiirlfriend? And then you’ll get a book deal out of the whole thing! If that’s not enough to break through writer’s block, BEST REVIEWER EVER, I don’t know what is. Maybe you’ll have to write a parody of something.

Now dear, I’m off to Mexico to play poker with some colorful stereotypes. There’s nothing like spending those book advances on expensive, spur-of-the-moment plane tickets!


Tess "Etiquette for the End of the World" Eliot
Totally Awesome Relatable Character.
Super Not Racist/Homophobic. Pinkie Swear. ( )

This book is a case of cover love for me. That is, I loved the cover so much that it enticed me to read this book (the book summary didn't hurt either). Look at it! If the end of the world is happening why not put on a fancy dress and pearls? I totally would do that!
Tess Elliot has had a run of bad luck -- from losing her job to losing her boyfriend. Because she doesn't have anything left to lose, including money, she takes on a job writing a 'survival manual' for the end of the world from a doomsday cult of sorts. Tess is skeptical about the group, but her skepticism turns into paranoia when she uncovers a plot for the destruction of life as we know it.
If Tess's book Etiquette for the End of the World were actually a book, I would read it. Throughout this book are excerpts from the 'guide', and it was hilarious! I had some laugh out loud moments throughout this book. Martinet does a great job with mixing humor and mystery in Etiquette For The End Of The World. I especially liked the main character, Tess Eliot. At the beginning of the book she doubts herself and her abilities. Her character changes throughout the book due to the events that surround her. She grows more confident, and self assured. While this book definitely had some great moments, I wasn't overly wowed by the plot. It was good, just not great.Even though the book was a little predictable, I still enjoyed reading it.
Overall, this is a fun book to read. I would recommend it to anyone who likes quirky, but an enjoyable book.
Read more at http://www.2readornot2read.com/2013/01/dont-panic-it-will-only-attract-sharks.ht... ( )