Prelim Review: This book took me just over 2hrs to complete and had me laughing for almost the entire time. Knowledge of the source material (either Fifty Shades of Gray or Twilight--take your pick) isn't really necessary to get the humor, though some of the funnier bits are best found funny if you do know one or the other.

Shaffer (or 'Merkin') does a really good job at poking fun at everything under the sun in regards to the whole Fifty Shades travesty. Up front--I read the first book, under duress and simply because I was tired of people telling me to read it. At least after reading it I have every right to criticize it. Moving on, this is just pure fun. The sex is awkward and about as hot as table water, the characters are basically interesting because of how they mock Christian Gray and Ana Steele (or Edward Cullen and Bella Swan, again take your pick) and Earl Grey is about as screwed up as Christian Gray just with less sexual assault as a kid.

Full review to be posted at Poisoned Rationality ( )

Reminecent of Hot Shots and Mel Brooks movies, Fifty Shames parodies 50 Shades, Twilight, and any more dribble coming along the drainpipe of romance novel and midlife crisis (oh you know there's only going to be more trying to hop on that gravy train of shame).
I prefer to read 50 Shades of Suck and Reasoning with Vampire blogs but Shaffer's book is worthy of a few laughs. ( )

This book is a parody of the popular 2012 book 50 Shades of Grey. Having never read the original, it made little sense to me to try reading this parody, but it was such a short book, I tried it anyway. Unfortunately, reading this without the context of the original, the book was just stupid to me. Admittedly, this was my own limitation, not necessarily indicative of a flawed book. If you've read the E.L. James original, and are interested in something which is similar to, but pokes fun at the original, you may find this book amusing. It's a parody, so it's supposed to be silly. But if you haven't read the original Fifty Shades of Grey,there'll be no anchor for the ridiculous side of this book, and you may be as confused and disappointed as I. ( )

4.5 stars. If you are looking for a book that will make you laugh until you cry, then you need to pick up a copy of Fifty Shames of Earl Gray. It is a rollicking good time that you do not want to miss. To read my review in its entirety, please visit http://www.bookreviewsandmorebykathy.com/2012/07/26/fifty-shames-of-earl-grey/ ( )

Read my full review of the book at seriesousbookreviews.com! Spoiler Free!

NOTE: I never finished this book. I got to Chapter 3 before I gave up. Find out why below...

It shouldn't be too hard to write a parody of Fifty Shades of Grey. I mean, people can simply read a line from the book aloud and laugh.

I think it tries too hard to be "out-there". The story is just plain odd and weird, not funny. Some lines (maybe about 3 sentences of the 15 pages I managed to read) were actually witty and encouraged me to keep reading. They were what I was expecting the book to be like and not random calls from Beyoncé or a 40 year old roommate bits we get. The wit was just too few and far between so I had to put this book down.

OVERALL: This was awful--I don't know what else to say!

Check out more spoiler-free book and series reviews on my blog SERIESousBookReviews.com as well as read book series recaps!

( )

Some parts are hilarious, while others ventured off into such bizarre randomness that left me going "WTF?" The start is absolute dynamite (the part about the hand buzzer!), but my attention wandered a bit in the middle, maybe because I haven't actually read the original, so some remarks might have gone over my head. (I'm aware of the infamous tampon scene though, and the repetitive "long fingers", and how she keeps on tripping and doesn't have e-mail.) Even so, there was still enough material for someone who hasn't read it to find this book funny. What is amazing is that the author was able to sustain a parody of this length. It also doesn't go on for too long, thankfully. Just when the energy starts to flag, the pace quickens, and we're soon ushered into the ending before I can let out any groans of complaint.

There is a lot of text-based humor (a few times I had to make a mental "I see what you did there" hat tip to the author), but there is also so much physical comedy here that I kept on imagining this as a movie, like "Vampires Suck" did for Twilight. I wouldn't mind if they used this as a basis! I'd watch that. ( )

When i read this this book first time, i laughed.
When i read this book the second time, i laughed harder!

Here's the contract between Anna Steal and Earl Grey:
Name: _________________
My ideal man is:
a. Smart
b. Funny
c. Good looking
d. Wealthy
e. Sociopathic
f. All of the above

I feel sexiest when I’m wearing:
a. New shoes
b. A slinky black dress
c. Nipple clamps
d. All of the above

I’m afraid of:
a. Being flogged
b. Being tied up
c. Running out of toilet paper in a public restroom
d. None of the above

My favorite body part is:
a. My butt
b. My boobs
c. My eyes
d. My partner’s eyes

Toys I would like to try include:
a. Vibrators
b. Butt plugs
c. Hello Kitty–brand toasters
d. All of the above

I am:
a. Team Edward
b. Team Jacob
c. Team Edward Does Jacob

I find it really hot when a man:
a. Listens to me
b. Cooks dinner for me
c. Canes my ass like a Singapore prison warden

One extracurricular activity I’ve always wanted to try is:
a. “Dirty Sanchez”
b. “Rusty trombone”
c. “Amish plow”
d. “Abraham Lincoln”

In a relationship, I prefer to be:
a. Submissive
b. Dominant
c. Awake

One day, I’d really like to:
a. Meet Tom Cruise
b. Go skydiving
c. Have sex with Earl Grey
d. All of the above, at the same time
The amount of pain I can tolerate on a scale of 1 to 5, where 1 is “none” and 5 is “listening to anything by Fergie or the Black-Eyed Peas,” is:
1–2–3–4–5

You have to read this book, it's friggin hilarious.
I eye him suspiciously. “You’re a strange man, Mr. Grey.”
“You have no idea,” he says, finishing his banana off.

This is one of the funniest books i've read, ever! If you asked me to choose favorite quotes, i would have to throw the entire thing at you. There is one of the scenes i truly love, and that is the end with the Count..

READ THIS!!!! READ IT!!! ( )

I initially had high hopes for this book but I got dissapointeds by it to be honest ( )

I didn't read 50 Shades of Grey but couldn't resist reading this parody. This was a fast, humorous read poking fun at the craziness of the original book.

I did find both characters to be extremely entertaining; Anna with her air-head simplicity and Earl Grey in his role as uber Alpha Male (for Pete's sake he drains the Pacific Ocean to save his Anna!)

Yes all the characters were completely undefined and one dimensional but they were fun. You don't read this book looking for a comparison piece to one of the greats like War and Peace or Anna Karenina. You read it because you have some spare time on your hands and need a bit of a laugh. ( )

Anna Steal, ladies and gents.




Review to come.


In the meantime, check out this book trailer aka "short film", if you haven't already. ( )

Fifty Shames of Earl Grey by Fanny Merkin

I figured I'd give it a try. Read a lot of reviews about how funny it was.I guess maybe I'm just not into parodies. Found it to be gross and rather annoying. ( )

This is just too funny for words.

I can picture the Will Farrell crew acting it out. A blockbuster in the making LOL ( )

Andrew Shaffer: *reads about Fifty Shades of Grey* This is popular and people are book shaming, but it can't be that bad…
Bella Ana: Oh, look something shiny! Oh, look a boy!
Edward Christian: This girl looks like my birth mom. I want to go all sadistic on her!
Andrew Shaffer: . . . what?
Edward Christian: I will stalk you to the ends of the earth.
Bella Ana: Oh my! I get off on brushing my teeth with your toothbrush. *swoon*
Andrew Shaffer: . . . no, really. Am I being punked? A monkey could fling better crap than this!

(Actually, you can read some of his real thoughts while he was reading it here.)

So now we have Fifty Shames of Earl Grey. A hilarious parody of the improbable bestseller written by Shaffer as Fanny Merkin – a name I didn't realize was a joke in and of itself until I saw Gisellelx's status update. The same goes for the cover of the book (hint: look at how he's holding the tea cup…). That is just a prelude to what you can expect reading the actual book.

Bella Swan Ana Steel Anna Steal, Wal-Mart employee, meets Edward Cullen Christian Grey Earl Grey, richie rich business man, when she interviews him for Boardroom Hotties as a favor to her roommate Rosalie Kathleen (oh, yes, the book has great moments of name misuse). Grey is immediately drawn to Miss Steal and begins stalking courting her. Anna is amazed by shiny objects his attention and quickly falls for him in return. What follows is the hilarious and utterly ridiculous story of them coming together and working through Edward Christian Earl's "fifty shames."

The book is filled with some of the worst and hilarious that pop culture has thrown at us recently (including Dr. Drew being…well, Dr. Drew, Jersey Shore mostly represented by Anna's inner guidette, 16 & Pregnant, and a very special Brony!). Unlike a lot of parodies I've read, however, this one never strays from what is actually being lampooned.

Merkin underscores everything that makes Master of the Universe Fifty Shades of Grey an awful fan fiction "book." Anna's stupidity. What a sociopathic nut job Earl is. The overly incredible situations, each increasingly unrealistic and ridiculous. Reading this bordered on mentally exhausting because Merkin does a great job of highlighting the semi-literate, grade school writing of FSoG and the mind-numbing stupidity of the characters, especially Anna. The only thing this parody was missing was an obscene amount of ellipses.

The best part of the story is that an opportunity to make a dig at how unethical and wrong it is to steal from another author and publish one's fan fiction is never missed. Most of the book is eminently quotable, whether the line is just plain funny or made hilarious by the insight behind it. For those of us suffering through the popularity of FSoG it is, in a word, fantastic!

I was provided an ARC of this book through NetGalley. ( )

I think everyone who reads Fifty Shades of Gray should then be required to read Fifty Shames of Early Grey. I think that those of us who wanted MORE will love the humor in this parody. If I were to begin writing in my favorite quotes all 224 pages would have to be transcribed here. There isn't a paragraph left without a punchline. ( )

Silly book, but much better written than the original Fifty Shades. ( )

I’m laughing as much as I was when I read the original Fifty Shades.

Actually, strike that. I’m laughing more.

Quite sensibly, I began reading Fifty Shames of Earl Grey when I was by myself, flying to Chicago. And I proceeded to laugh out loud — and gain some puzzled looks — as I read. But how to explain the jokes in Fifty Shames? I didn’t attempt it then, because I didn’t want to get kicked off the plane for being a pervert.

It’s a delight to read. I still think of lines from the book and snicker to myself during a quiet moment at work, or while I’m walking home. Who but Fanny Merkin could put together jabs at Twilight, Fifty Shades, bronies, tea, and tech (mini-disc player, anyone)?

Even if you haven’t read E.L. James’ Fifty Shades (or the entire trilogy), you should still read Fifty Shames. It’s better, it’s funnier, and you’ll want more when you’re done. ( )

*Copy received via Netgalley on July 3rd 2012*

This and other reviews can be found on my blog (un)Conventional Bookviews

I read the first couple of chapters when they were on Shaffer's blog, and I found the writing to be hilarious!

This whole book is fan-fricking-tastic. The snark goes from win to win, and I couldn't read more than a few sentences at a time without laughing (sometimes, it was every single sentence).

( )

This story was brought to you by the letters F, M and the number 5 ..... 5 stars!

If this book were to be made into a movie, it would be brought to us by the makers of The Naked Gun, Hot Shots and Airplane.

Whether you've read the stories responsible for the FSoG hype, Fifty Shades of Grey Master of the Universe Twilight, this parody is hysterical in it's delivery. Bella's Ana's Lip biting and blushing had nothing on Anna's nose picking, smelly feet and untamed jungle. The steady stream of pop culture references from the 80s to the present will leave you howling with laughter. The most memorable and laugh-out-loud moment had to be the taking of Anna's virginity. Don't worry, the author didn't forget about the most controversial moment in the book – tampons will be involved. The book cover is also wickedly clever, once you get over the "shock" of noticing the "tea bagging".

Earl Grey is a hot geek and a billionaire CEO. His darkest secret isn't being fifty shades of f*ed up, but his list of fifty (hilarious) shames. At the top of the list is BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick) that he dabbles in with female LARPs (live action role players). Our virginal ditz, Anna is sent in her friend's stead to conduct an interview with him for an article in Boardroom Hotties. They meet, sparks fly, and Mr. Grey will resort to buying up every obstacle in his path to lay claim to Anna. From then on, this book is a hilariously perverted journey. So jump on the bandwagon and prepare to have your mind spleen blown.

P.S. Common courtesy dictates giving credit where credit is due, so there's a nice dedication at the end. Nicely done, Fanny Merkin!

Thank you Perseus Book Groups and Da Capo Press via NetGalley for the ARC

Disclaimer: A review in exchange for the ARC was not promised. The views and opinions expressed in this review are my own, and in no way represent the views or opinions of the publisher/distributor. ( )

There's a sequel in the works, [b:Fifty Shames In Space|15722168|Fifty Shames In Space|Andrew Shaffer|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nocover/60x80.png|21396038], and I'm not sure what the point would be because this book was kind of a one joke wonder.

That's not to say it wasn't funny, it was. And there were plenty of pop culture and nerdy references to keep me entertained. But there was a lot of the same thing. Which may have been the point but it did get tedious after awhile. I only finished to say I did.

I haven't read [b:Fifty Shades of Grey|10818853|Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)|E.L. James|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1300842729s/10818853.jpg|15732562] nor have I been able to read more than a future chapters of Twilight (I tried, really I did) so I not sure how much was mediocre writing and how much was playing on the mediocre writing of those two books.

In fact, reading this made me really curious about Fifty Shades because if each of the events in this book is making fun of a scene in that book, I can't even imagine how it got published let alone became popular. It sounds ridiculous.

Everything is ridiculous from the fact that Anna rides her bike from Portland to Seattle in 3.5 hours (that's about how long it takes to drive the route) to Earl buying a state university so Anna doesn't have to do work and still graduate with honors, to a ride in a helicopter to a place that is right across the street from where they were picked up.

First of all, Anna is a naive idiot. She believes everything Grey says and always with joy and wonder. She doesn't question anything. Grey has a beyond-extravagant lifestyle, at one point draining the Pacific Ocean to rescue a car that has been submerged.

There were plenty of references to the characters in Twilight and the similarities between them and the characters in this book. Anna is constantly getting confused like in the opening scene where she is looking in the mirror and then realizes she's looking at a poster of Kristen Stewart. Grey's skin seems to sparkle in the sunlight. He doesn't mind and actually enjoys her menstrual blood.

Oddly, there is almost no BDSM in this book. The extent is one scene where her wrists are tied to one bedpost during sex and one place where he's spanking her and she's laughing. Only her sides hurt and it's from laughing..

Anna is very complacent about all of the sex and even thinks it's mild despite being a virgin who has never even touched herself sexually let alone masturbated. The weirdness comes from where they have sex, not what they do. It's very vanilla sex. I've heard 50 Shades is mild but if it's this bad, I have no idea why people think it's at all titillating.

There are constant fake references to sex, "There's a word starting with F I want to do with you" which turns out to be something innocuous but she's disappointed because she thought it was going to be another word starting with F that was also innocuous. When they do have sex, all body parts are referred to with euphemisms like "party favors" and a "Katy Perry."

The side references are fun for nerds such as Grey LARPing during sex and rolling a 20 sided die to determine how much to spank her. Other Seattle references abound like going to Eddie Vedder's house and constant references to Starbucks.

At the end, not only is there a silly index but also a list of Grey's Shames. Some are quite funny. There are only a handful of BDSM entries, though, which makes sense given the bland nature of the sex here. Other's are things like "Team Jacob" (#26), "Shopping at Walmart on Saturdays" (#1), "16 and Pregnant" (#48), and "Nickelback" (#23).*

Basically this is a funny light read but don't expect too much. Certainly don't go looking for funny BDSM scenes as you'll be disappointed.



*Why does everyone dog on Nickelback? I mostly listen to alternative and pseudo punk music like Muse, Rise Against, Death Cab for Cutie, Silversun Pickups, Awolnation, Modest Mouse, The Shins, etc. and I don't think Nickelback is bad. They're certainly no worse than half the crap on the Pop music charts. It's a band I don't mind that my kids love so we listen to it. I guess I have a shame, although I'm not ashamed of it. Obviously someone likes them because they keep selling albums but why does everybody still claim to hate them? I thought Rockstar was quite funny. ( )

There's a sequel in the works, [b:Fifty Shames In Space|15722168|Fifty Shames In Space|Andrew Shaffer|http://www.goodreads.com/assets/nocover/60x80.png|21396038], and I'm not sure what the point would be because this book was kind of a one joke wonder.

That's not to say it wasn't funny, it was. And there were plenty of pop culture and nerdy references to keep me entertained. But there was a lot of the same thing. Which may have been the point but it did get tedious after awhile. I only finished to say I did.

I haven't read [b:Fifty Shades of Grey|10818853|Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)|E.L. James|http://photo.goodreads.com/books/1300842729s/10818853.jpg|15732562] nor have I been able to read more than a future chapters of Twilight (I tried, really I did) so I not sure how much was mediocre writing and how much was playing on the mediocre writing of those two books.

In fact, reading this made me really curious about Fifty Shades because if each of the events in this book is making fun of a scene in that book, I can't even imagine how it got published let alone became popular. It sounds ridiculous.

Everything is ridiculous from the fact that Anna rides her bike from Portland to Seattle in 3.5 hours (that's about how long it takes to drive the route) to Earl buying a state university so Anna doesn't have to do work and still graduate with honors, to a ride in a helicopter to a place that is right across the street from where they were picked up.

First of all, Anna is a naive idiot. She believes everything Grey says and always with joy and wonder. She doesn't question anything. Grey has a beyond-extravagant lifestyle, at one point draining the Pacific Ocean to rescue a car that has been submerged.

There were plenty of references to the characters in Twilight and the similarities between them and the characters in this book. Anna is constantly getting confused like in the opening scene where she is looking in the mirror and then realizes she's looking at a poster of Kristen Stewart. Grey's skin seems to sparkle in the sunlight. He doesn't mind and actually enjoys her menstrual blood.

Oddly, there is almost no BDSM in this book. The extent is one scene where her wrists are tied to one bedpost during sex and one place where he's spanking her and she's laughing. Only her sides hurt and it's from laughing..

Anna is very complacent about all of the sex and even thinks it's mild despite being a virgin who has never even touched herself sexually let alone masturbated. The weirdness comes from where they have sex, not what they do. It's very vanilla sex. I've heard 50 Shades is mild but if it's this bad, I have no idea why people think it's at all titillating.

There are constant fake references to sex, "There's a word starting with F I want to do with you" which turns out to be something innocuous but she's disappointed because she thought it was going to be another word starting with F that was also innocuous. When they do have sex, all body parts are referred to with euphemisms like "party favors" and a "Katy Perry."

The side references are fun for nerds such as Grey LARPing during sex and rolling a 20 sided die to determine how much to spank her. Other Seattle references abound like going to Eddie Vedder's house and constant references to Starbucks.

At the end, not only is there a silly index but also a list of Grey's Shames. Some are quite funny. There are only a handful of BDSM entries, though, which makes sense given the bland nature of the sex here. Other's are things like "Team Jacob" (#26), "Shopping at Walmart on Saturdays" (#1), "16 and Pregnant" (#48), and "Nickelback" (#23).*

Basically this is a funny light read but don't expect too much. Certainly don't go looking for funny BDSM scenes as you'll be disappointed.



*Why does everyone dog on Nickelback? I mostly listen to alternative and pseudo punk music like Muse, Rise Against, Death Cab for Cutie, Silversun Pickups, Awolnation, Modest Mouse, The Shins, etc. and I don't think Nickelback is bad. They're certainly no worse than half the crap on the Pop music charts. It's a band I don't mind that my kids love so we listen to it. I guess I have a shame, although I'm not ashamed of it. Obviously someone likes them because they keep selling albums but why does everybody still claim to hate them? I thought Rockstar was quite funny. ( )

Meh. This isn't entertaining me. Is it the narrator? Do I just not much like obvious parodies? I don't know. Either way, not for me.

4.5 stars because Anna Steal picks her nose. ( )

This book did exactly what it was supposed to do....it made me LAUGH!!!! In fact, it made me laugh so much that I insisted on sharing it with my fellow employees during breaks where we laughed until we had tears in our eyes! Such utter ridiculousness.....I loved it!

The only reason I gave Fifty Shames 4 stars instead of 5 was that I felt the first half of the book was far funnier that the last half.

I would recommend this book to anyone who enjoys silly, "dumb" humour and has no issues with bladder control!

Enjoy!

( )

Best nom de plume ever? Hilarious book, really. ( )

I decided pretty quickly after my awful experience with the Fifty Shades trilogy that I needed to read this book. The excerpt had me giggling and I loved the book trailer. Plus, I just like Andrew Shaffer. I follow him on Twitter and he is fucking hilarious.

In his parody, the enigmatic Earl Grey is into BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery, and Magick), which is a form of erotic LARPing. He also enjoys shopping at Wal-Mart, Nickleback, and other shameful things. While this book probably isn’t funny to just anyone, if you’ve read and rolled your eyes over Fifty Shades, this will be at least a little humorous. Some of it had me laughing out loud. I was really entertained at the beginning, though I must grudgingly admit that it lost its steam somewhere along the way. There were still funny Fifty Shades references throughout, but I think I was a little put off by the complete ridiculousness of the ending. If you enjoy crude, ridiculous humor it should keep you entertained.

Some of my favorite parts include the Portland jokes, Earl Grey buying Wal-Mart so that Anna can take off work, flying her next door to Starbucks in his helicopter, and blowing a heart into a dormant volcano with missiles in one of the fighter jets from Top Gun. Totally ridiculous. ( )