First off...a big THANK YOU to Cassandra from choosing this book for me to read. This book was nowhere near on my radar. Thank you for putting it there because what a story.

All these emotions I have just stirring from this book. Wow.

I figured I split it down the middle into two parts.

Dear Bump,

I'm thankful for the story you're from. It was such a touching, moving tale, with rich characters that I could almost taste, see, feel and hear them...sometimes even with you.

Though the story is Derek O'Reilly's, told from his POV, I felt you were an integral part along with him. You helped him so much and were so loved by him.

I hope you know that.

Derek's story started and ended with you. It moved me, sometimes even to tears. Because Derek was so deserving of love and I think if you had the chance you would have adored him, helped him with his pain. Sometimes, there are people put into this world to love, they were born just for it.

And unfortunately, Derek was surrounded by a lot of people who just couldn't do it.

Thank goodness for Aunt Frannie and the Lunds. I don't know where Derek would have been or become without them. Derek, that shy 11 year old with the world in his eyes, ignored, made fun of his stutter...thank goodness he wrote his letters and expressed himself through them to you. (well mostly, there were a few episodes where he didn't and his pain was a visceral, aching wound) You'll be glad to know he finally overcame that.

Bump, can you imagine falling in love at 11 years old? To know you are gay, know who you love at such a tender age?

How can I love someone so much, but be invisible to him? I closed my eyes and tried to make my heart stop beating. I prayed to God. "Make this heartbeat be the last."

But it never was."

It's an emotional time, let me tell you, Bump. You think it's etched deep into your bones, you're so full of love. Everyone else around you thinks it's just a crush or idol worship. But not for Derek. He was made for Nicolai Lund, Derek's best friend's older brother. Nicolai was the quintessential bad boy...with a disability (dyslexic) of his own, no less.

What can a damaged 11 and 16 year old do? Though nothing romantic happened during that period, you felt the connection, Bump. That connection was so real, it was tangible, Bump. It couldn't be denied.

But Derek, he has a problem with sharing his feelings, keeping them bottled inside until it's too late. If you only knew what mess Derek gets into presently, Bump. But I'll get to that in my other part of my review.

Oh Bump, when you were first introduced it was jarring. The story telling was, at times, raw, sometimes poetic. But Derek's story had to be told this way, Bump.

Split into past and present to make the whole.

I wish I could have hugged him for you, Bump. But like I said, thank goodness for the Lunds. They provided a model of what a true family bond is. don't get me wrong, they'er not perfect. They are wondrously flawed. I enjoyed each member of the Lund family (And though Nicolai is Derek's love interest, my heart beats for Boone! Love him!)

Real life issues. Real life drama. Real life, Bump. Luckily this stage was so eloquently intertwined with present day. Not hard to follow along once you get into it.

And I got into it hard, Bump.

Enjoyed each and every word.

And your representation might had been a bitter pill to swallow but you represented a sense of hope, joy for one lonely little boy. Beauty can be found from pain.

Sometimes.

Love,

Me

P.S. Cassandra continues to have a nice life. :D

*tilts head*

Dear Derek,

Seventeen years.

Seventeen years worth of love you have for one boy man. And it was felt, hon. It's not an easy thing for an author to capture every nuance to make years worth of love believable, but Derek I believed you 1000%.

Derek. You lost your way, you settled, you became meek and mild when you always had a spine of steel. You were always worthy.

You just didn't recognize it.

That Nathan mistake...I could ask, why did you let it get so bad? But I'm not. It was what it was. Thankfully the bout of domestic violence was brief, it angered me, Derek. You continued to bottle yourself up. I knew there was a spark in you. I always watch out for the quiet ones, they can make their presence known pretty deep when they want to. so happy you FINALLY let it out, Derek.

I partly wished we could have gotten Nicolai's POV but you know what? As I am writing this, it wasn't needed. All that need to be said...was said. Even all what you didn't say was appreciated by me (and Nick too)

It was great to see all my favorite characters (pretty much everyone except your parents, Derek) grow up. And the story Derek apparently gets better with age? Just when I think it will all be mucked up a believable HEA pops up towards the end. The road Derek and Nicolai take is not without heartache, but that's life.

I'm happy you found your way.

I'm happy with how it ended.

Know I'm totally checking more out from this author because those words...were divine. What a great story.

“O'Reilly, I've been running from the worst of myself all my life, and now it looks like the best of me just caught up.”

Derek, I love you for what you were and what you are. Happy you finally saw what you could become.

Love,

Me

P.S. If you're reading this...definitely check out this book." ( )

** spoiler alert ** I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I won't rehash the story outline as the blurb does a great job of explaining that. But I will tell you how beautiful this prose is; I dog-eared every page I loved and now it looks like an origami project.

Derek is 11 yrs old and trying to come to terms with being gay and being fiercely in love with 17 years old Nordic god, Nickolai. My heart ached for this quiet, tortured soul whose confusion comes out with a stuttering problem and, once he realizes he is irrevocably in love with Nick, self-abuse.

But Nick flees his family, pursuing his dream of being a chef, of overcoming his dyslexia. Derek was a big part of Nick's family, Nick's brother Boone being his best friend, and Nick's parents caring for Derek as much as they do their own children. After Derek's mother has a miscarriage he is emotionally abandoned by her and sinks into the comfort of the Lund family.

He doesn't see them for 17 years. During this time he becomes involved with one of the biggest douche bags in literature, Nathan. I love that adult Derek is pulled back into the Lund family by being pulled over by his long-lost best friend now police-officer, Boone. Once Boone meets The Douche Bag, he slips Nick's address into Derek's pocket.

The reunion is......terribly satisfying. Just in time for both of them to weather a huge loss and a big surprise.

Through it all, the author gives us delicious moments. And now you must endure a list of my favorite quotes:

"And Nick, my Nordic King, my gypsy warrior, ..."

"Nicolai Lund. An abysmal omen. All of hell's tempations and some of heaven's expired offers. Boone bent to my ear. 'Take a breath, man.'"

"When Johan (Nick's father) came to me, he paused. He stood behind me, drowning my soul with his paternal vibe..."

[Young Nick to young Derek]:"Nick locked his eyes with mine and smiled. 'You're one of those. You know? The ones that come out of things stronger.' He got to his knees and made his way to the ege of my bed. His mouth touched my ear. 'I see you, O'Reilly. The way you watch me' I could feel his breath in my hair. 'We're of the same kind.'" [Nothing sexier than someone telling you they 'see you']

"My teeth dug into my bottom lip with enough ardor to startle me. I had nearly drawn blood. I tried to suck in a few breaths, and fastened my gaze to the kitchen door.

I held on, bracing myself for the tsunami of sensations that would soon wash over me.

The door swung open.

The tidal wave crashed over me. It tore into my very skin, pouring into my nose, eyes, and mouth. I could neither breathe nor speak. I had been knocked out by the sheer force of its revelation.

Nick was more beautiful than I could bear."

Oh, and there is much more loveliness. Enjoy! ( )

After the first pages I thought: OMG another coming-out story but after that I was pulled right into the story and mind of 11- and 28-year-old Derek who can't get the first love out of his mind. In a family with a sick mother, an absent father and all kind of trouble, it's harsh to discover that you fell in love with the troublesome, difficult son of the neighbors. The grown-up Derek has avoided all difficulties and lives the secure life of a rich guy's accessory. But during the course of the book past events get stronger and challenge the false security of nowadays life. It was a beautiful read and I'm really sad that I have to part from Derek and Nick. I hope you'll enjoy the book as much as I did!! ( )

Mel Bossa is again a debut author surprising me with her skills to tell a story that is always the same (being young, gay, in love and scared) in a way that makes it unique.

Split means many things in the novel: the storyline is split in two, the 11 years old Derek in love with his 15 years old neighbour Nicolai Lund, his best friend Boone’s older brother, and the 28 years old Derek in an abusive relationship with Nathan and struggling to face the imminent lost of his dear aunt Fran, the only relative who always understood him. Split is Nick’s life, now and before, a dyslexic young boy with huge potential but also with a lot of repressed rage. Split was also Derek, too young at the time to understand what he was feeling for Nick, but nevertheless feeling it and being scared; strange enough, for how angry and rebellious Nick was, being gay himself seemed to not being an issue (actually he was bisexual, another “splitting” in the story) and he was the only one that helped a bit Derek coping with that discovery. Split is Derek’s today life, knowing he has all the reason to love Nathan, successful and handsome, but not able to do that, since, in a way, Derek has always been in love with Nick, and now that Nick is back in town, there is no way Derek can marry Nathan and move with him to Milan.

If not for the contemporary storyline about Derek, Nathan and Nick, this could have been without an issue a young adult novel; the 11 years old Derek is facing all the issues of a young boy entering the teen years, the discovery of love, sex and death. Derek’s family is coping with the death of an unborn child and they probably don’t understand that Derek has issues of his own; and in the end, they have not really understood him at all. Derek adopts Boone’s family, above all Boone’s father, Johann, but he can in no way adopt Boone’s brother Nick, he has not really brotherly feeling for Nick. Derek doesn’t know what those feelings are, but he knows he is physically ill when he is near Nick, and Nick is like the purpose of his life. Derek is Red, due to his hair color, and Nick is Blue, due to his Norwegian blue sky eyes, Red and Blue becomes Purple and Derek would love with all his own to live in a purple world.

The 28 years old Derek has almost forget that 11 years old boy and his purple dreams, but dying Aunt Fran wants to do a last gift to her nephew, and she brings him back his journal, the journal where Derek poured all his love for Nick. And then a chance meeting with Boone let Derek knows that Nick is back in town, and single. Now is the time for Derek to grasp that love he let it go many years ago since he was too young to live it.

As I said, while the first part of the book is very good, but mostly chaste, the second part will appeal a lot the more traditional romance lovers, since it has practically everything, love, family, good feelings, sex and a little bit of pink glasses perspective that is never too much.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/1602822204/?tag=elimyrevandra-20