Katie Leone

Technicalities dragged this down

I greatly appreciate that this story is about a trans child. Overall, I think the story is good.
However, I was extraordinarily frustrated and annoyed while reading it. There are grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text. Angry irony was sparked repeatedly when the author would comment about the state of the school system, or about young people's reading and writing skills, and yet, the text itself was riddled with errors.
I was also disappointed with the story structure. There was entirely too much build up in the beginning with too much insignificant detail, making the story drag, entirely too many repeated details that did not add to the story, creating more drag, and then a quick ending that lacked detail.
Other irksome notes: Les Miserables was used as a parallel plot device, and Cosette's name was misspelled. If the protagonist has a degree in psychology, she ought to be a lot smarter about human behavior than she was written as. Being scared walking down the hall was ok once, but was repeated too much for no good reason.
It's a good story that could be improved with editing.… (más)