Karen J. Foli

Over 150,000 people adopt children each year, and more than 2 million parents are now raising adopted children and grandchildren. While the path to parenting through adoption is rich with rewards and fulfillment, it's not without its bumps. This compassionate, illuminating, and ultimately uplifting book is the first to openly recognize the very normal feelings of stress that adoptive families encounter as they cope with the challenges and expectations of their new families. Where do parents turn when the waited-for bonding with their adopted child is slow to form? When they find themselves grieving over the birth child they couldn't have? When the child they so eagerly welcomed into their home arrives with major, unexpected needs? Until now, adoptive parents have had to struggle silently with their feelings, which can range from flutters of anxiety to unbearable sadness. At last, Karen J. Foli, a registered nurse, and her husband, John R. Thompson, a psychiatrist, lift the curtain of secrecy from "Post Adoption Depression Syndrome" (PADS). Drawing on their own experience as adoptive parents as well as interviews with dozens of adoptive families and experts in the field, the couple offers parents the understanding, support, and concrete solutions they need to overcome post-adoption blues-and open their hearts to the joy adoption can bring. Selected Reading Questionnaire.… (más)

This is an important and highly useful book. While it doesn't deal with the most pleasant of subjects (stress and depression), and I often felt uncomfortable while reading it, I believe it is a necessary read for anyone contemplating or in the process of adoption.

My favorite aspect of the book is the way the authors describe the various expectations that adoptive parents have:
- “Expectations of yourself as a parent,”
- “Your expectations of your child,” and
- “Expectations of others. “

They use these as the first three parts of the book. Then, within each chapter of these three parts, they list the various expectations that adoptive parents may possess, counters that demonstrate how these may not be met, and coping strategies to alleviate the disappointment of the unmet expectations. In some of the chapters, there is also a section on the emotions and reactions families might have to these unmet desires.

The final section takes an in-depth look at the father and his unique stresses, post-adoption stress and depression, support for the parents and the child, and ends with a call to action. This is a must have book for any adopting parents!… (más)