Mykola Dementiuk

Despite being released by an erotic romance publisher, “Bathroom Trysts” is neither romantic nor even erotic. At least, it won’t be to the majority of readers of gay romance (ie heterosexual women). The book would have found itself more at home with a publisher like Cleis or Lethe Press and marketed as gay fiction where it would have been welcomed by gay men and those interested in social history.

In succinct, dispassionate but at times hauntingly lyrical prose, the author captures the people, the place and the essence of the era.

First person point of view immediately puts the reader fair and square in the head of a young man (we are not told his age initially) in a time where being gay was seen as a sin. Readers who are naturally warm-hearted will squirm as the narrator does things they would never dream of doing or thinks thoughts repugnant to them. But anyone with a degree of imagination and empathy, (especially if they have read other books of that period) can really feel the loneliness and shame as he relates his tales with a disconcerting lack of emotion.

This distance extends to the sex scenes, mirroring the disconnectedness that pervaded that aspect of his life as well. No lingering pleasure was achieved from these brief encounters, only a quick gratification of urges leaving the narrator and reader even more sullied by an experience which in better circumstances should be uplifting and fulfilling. There was nothing sexy or even romantic about these trysts. The rainbow may be their symbol, but those two ideals were pots of gold at each end. Impossible to find – in those days at least.

This will be a difficult story for many people to read and review. No doubt it will attract its share of criticism. But I wouldn't mind betting that some men will get a kind of guilty pleasure while reading it. Possibly the same men who shared these encounters with similar young men or dreamed of doing so. Others will read the stories and wince at the memory.

Some of the scenes depicted are disturbing, and I suspect the author meant them to be. After all, isn't that a form of comment on the incidents themselves. What was the alternative? Wrap the memories up in judgemental self-loathing? Gay men were always made to feel the outsider. Dirty, shameful.

Dirk Vanden, winner of this year’s Lambda Award for erotic romance maintains that in those days gay men deliberately sought out and indulged in degraded sex because that's all they felt they deserved for being queer. Seeing everyone reviled them for being gay and they were going to hell anyway, the shackles were off as they sought out the company of like-minded men to share in their “downfall”.

These people were not just the six pack Adonises who grace the cover of today’s m/m romances. They were the overweight, the hairy, the meek, the mild, the old, the married, the accountant (or priest) and the truck driver stinking of BO.

It is not until we are further into the book that we discover the narrator is still a teenager, 15, underage, illegal. This throws another angle into play. Underage sex. But it also explains why, apart from exploitation there are other factors involved: experimentation, lack of money, confusion, not knowing anything else is possible, immaturity, the self-centredness of youth, lack of empathy from not having enough life experience.
Mind you, some teens look like men and I'm sure people weren't flashing around ID cards.

Now, without judging a reviewer’s right to their own opinion, I’d like to address a point I came across in another review which can be read in context here: http://briefencountersreviews.com/2012/08/07/bathroom-trysts-by-mykola-dementiuk...

“What really turned me off the story, though, was the narrator's reaction to the cross-dressing character who asks him to come on her face, even offering money for his "scum". When it doesn't quite go to plan and she takes the money back, the narrator curses her, calling her a "faggot whore" and a "half-boy/half-girl fake". If this transphobia had been dealt with by the narrator, calling on a more mature perspective in his later life (the point from which he is supposedly narrating) then I could have accepted it as the callousness of youth. Unfortunately this didn't happen, and after that I lost all sympathy for him.”

While totally understanding where they are coming from, I see this differently.

First off, I’m going to assume that now he is older, the author is well aware of how he will come across if he writes words like that. The question is, should he self-censor who he was back then? At that age, that was truly what he thought. Heck, a lot of adults still feel like that. But, given his intelligence as shown by other factors, isn't there a degree of self-criticism implicit in his acknowledgement of writing how he felt then?

Gay men had pecking orders. All men do. Some men who were struggling with coming to terms that they were gay felt that pretending you were female or acting like a female was the worst thing you could do. Check out the rules of the Old Guard and again, Dirk Vanden's writing of that time. Even though there are still pockets of prejudice, the fem gay man of today or the cross dresser or transman should count themselves lucky that they live in a different era. But this has only been possible because being gay stopped being a crime.

Like the pungent aroma of antiseptic used in a public urinal, the sad, lonely, and self-loathing stories will leave you with a nasty aftertaste. Thank God we have come so far since then that we are revolted by the difference to today’s standards.

Sometimes, I wonder if gay guys over forty deep down resent or are jealous of the fact that younger men didn't go through all this. That they escaped being divorced from their families, their work colleagues and society in general.

I read stories by men like Mykola Dementiuk, Blake Deveraux and others damaged by their pasts and cringe when these facts are included in their novels and they get condemned by reviewers for the content. In a way, I find that as bad as the condemnation that existed in their day.

We should be thanking these men for writing stories like this. Hopefully, they are a cathartic experience. No, we are not meant to "get off" on them.

Writing of these “trysts” without the author’s intervention or apology for thinking or doing things that may be unacceptable by today’s standards is better in the long term as these stories will last well into a future which will see even more changes. If “judging” be done, let each era, read, appreciate and make their comments on their current knowledge and values and acknowledge (hopefully) how much better things are now.

If the writer had written or “judged” from today’s viewpoint that puts an anachronistic stopper into the piece. His thoughts back onto what he was like then may change in ten years. Heck, they’re possibly even different from what they were ten years ago. Better to chronicle without judgement and let an empathetic reader use the picture it paints to understand the era.

In Australia, for a long time, a big deal was made about saying “Sorry” to aborigines for the way they were treated in the past. Oppressed, taken away from their families, abused, mistreated. Many people objected strongly to the notion that they should apologise for actions they themselves had nothing to do with, in fact many happened before they were born. Just the thought that an apology was needed created great debate. It is only a word. Action is needed as well, but sometimes, these gestures can carry great meaning. They are a line in the sand. An expression of determination never to repeat that mistake.

In the same vein, whenever I read books like this, I am often prompted to do the same. Instead of adding further agony to the negativity the author received in the past, I am going to praise the book and say “Sorry” the world was not a better place.… (más)

A novella about 19 years old Richard searching his path in life in 1970s New York City; Richard has no a lot of chances in front of him, with only an high school diploma, and no experience, he is basically wandering the streets searching for nothing. But something he finds, a man, Ralphie.

Ralphie is way more experienced than Richard, and he is able to recognize the hunger in Richard’s eyes and body. And he is ready to catch it. But Ralphie is a player, a good kisser, but not what sweet Richard needs. Richard is like a blossom ready to open, and he needs care and love, something that Ralphie doesn’t care to share. But there is another man, old Mr. James, that maybe is the right man for the task.

Everyone sees in Mr. James an old man, no danger but neither no thrill. For most of the men wandering the East River Park, Mr. James is invisible. Despite Richard’s young age, he is a gentle soul, and he is able to see beyond the appearance, Mr. James is the one who will be able to kiss this sleepy princess into a queen (pun intended).

Very nice, and almost sweet story, something unexpected considering Mykola Dementiuk’s past works.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B007OWGA0G/?tag=elimyrevandra-20… (más)

On the summer of 1969, Young Man is a high school dropout who is spending his days prowling the East River Park in NYC. He has never actually spoken with any of the other park patrons, but he knows them: the man with the Chihuahua, the woman with the Dalmatian, and that old man who is always looking at him. Young Man doesn’t understand himself or his feelings, at times he is attracted by the woman, at times by the men, I think that whoever of them would approach him, Young Man would be fine, since basically he needs a leading hand. And Mr Chervy alias Miss Crystal, a retired teacher who cross-dresses only in the intimacy of his home, will be the one to take in hand, literally, Young Man. Young Man and Miss Crystal’s relationship is very much that of teacher and pupil, and while Young Man likes Miss Crystal, he doesn’t like the authoritarian persona he represents and he, liked dropped out of school, arrives to a confrontation with Miss Crystal that leads him away. Out again in the street, he meet the Librarian, almost a replica of Miss Crystal, another kind and lonely man who wouldn’t like better than finding a companion, someone who is never to leave him. Young Man will be the bridge between Miss Crystal and the Librarian, and maybe for the time being he will be with them, but I think that his task is accomplished, Miss Crystal and the Librarian will never be alone again, they now have each other, and if they wish to help other young men, why not, but the most important thing is that, while these young me will come and go, they will always have each other.

I know that probably this is not the most literary novella by Mykola Dementiuk, he wrote much important works, but to my romantic heart, this is my favourite; I really like Miss Crystal and the Librarian, they are compassionate men who need love, and I’m so glad that in the end they met each other. Young Man is probably a desperate case, he could probably improve, but I have the feeling that he will be always like that, a bad boy with a bad mouth. But that doesn’t matter, since he has not a bad heart, on the contrary, he is confused and needing love as much as Miss Crystal and the Librarian need. And for a little time, or maybe forever, they have found that love and each other.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0071QHQ1M/?tag=elimyrevandra-20… (más)

I often notice that Mykola Dementiuk doesn’t give a name to his main character, like in this case. Beginning of the 1960s, a man is living in a rooming house in New York City and prowling the neighbourhood under the Williamsburg Bridge. I don’t think he is specifically searching for sex, maybe more for “inspiration”, some fantasy he can use later on to masturbate alone. But during one of his prowling session he meets Chica, a transgender Puerto Rican girl. She is beautiful and she is nice to him, more nice than everyone else before, even if it’s clear she is aiming to his, few, money. But it doesn’t matter, it’s like a dream taking life, the man thinks he has finally found love, someone he could share his lonely life. Doesn’t matter that Chica is prostituting herself, doesn’t matter that she will basically do everyone on her path, for money or protection, she is a dream to the man’s eyes… but a dream can fade as soon as the blink of those same eyes.

Knowing Mykola Dementiuk, I was fully expected the feeling of the story and the development, but it seems to me this time he was a little more “kind” with Chica; sure she is not your good girl next door, she is a gold digger, and I’m pretty sure that as soon as the money are gone, also the girl will follow soon, but I didn’t feel in her the same “bad core” as I did for similar characters in some previous stories by the same author. Chica is probably at a stage she could be still “saved” by love if given a chance. And the man will lost his heart to her, and everything he has, but at least he will have the memory of her.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0066DZM0S/?tag=elimyrevandra-20… (más)