Zane, a seminary and grad school dropout, obtains a USB drive left by a cloaked figure on a bridge in the middle of the night. The drive's content offers Zane "The Secrets of All Secrets"--a tantalizing proposal for someone who has nothing left to lose. Following the drive's directions, Zane heads to Florida where he encounters Dali, a poor waitress who received an identical USB. Initially clashing, they band together, taking a chance that The Secrets are genuine as they receive more instructions from their USBs. Four conflicted government operatives; an extremely tall corporate executive with an extremely short, scholarly hit man in tow; and two crackbrained, fringe-element, anti-government separatists are after The Secrets--and are all willing to kill to get them. Zane, Dali, and their pursuers encounter an armadillo festival, visit a nudist resort, and hang out with a presumed dead '60s rocker. Pandemonium occurs at each venue with Zane and Dali one step ahead of everyone... that is, until all parties convene for a climactic confrontation over The Secrets.