My name's Mort Van Horn. I work in bookstore called Don Juan's Place. It's at your usual type of bookstore, not Dalton or Walden or anything like that, although we do have a lot of bestsellers, only they're not the ones on the New York Times list. It's a porno bookshop, see? - It's just off Hollywood Boulevard, right around the corner and down the block from Frederick’s of Hollywood, which is in a big building painted purple with pink and lavender trim, just like you‘ve been told.
You might think my life is boring or sleazy or something like that. Well, it is a little sleazy, maybe, because that's, the way I like it, but boring? Never. Let me tell you what happened the other afternoon, for example.
I was working all alone. Mitch, the…