I was okay with the beginning and there were definitely many parts that I highlighted, but after a few chapters the book got very repetitive and I didn't feel like I was gaining any new information. Also, personally I felt like the book feels very outdated, but then again it was published 12 years ago. I did enjoy the "Talking It Over" parts at the end of each chapter. ( )

One of our pastors told me this was the book he recommended that couples work through before doing their pre-marital counseling sessions with him. In the book, Chapman condenses his "five love languages" into a single chapter (while recommending that couples read it and take the online test to determine theirs) although he makes frequent reference to the concept in other chapters. He discusses things couples need to address such as finance, sex, in-laws, religion, and much more. While Chapman is a Christian and uses more examples from a Christian perspective, the book itself probably could have a broader appeal than the Christian market. I was a little disappointed in the chapter on in-law relationships. While it addressed the in-law who tries to spend too much time with their child after the wedding, it failed to address the one who refuses to accept the spouse because of not wanting to share their child with another person. Overall, it's a good book which helps a couple decide whether or not they are compatible, able to make decisions, compromise when necessary, and go forward with the marriage. ( )

When newly married, Gary Chapman and his wife found their attitudes about everything strikingly at odds, although they shared their Christian faith. Happily-ever-after eluded them. He says many marriages falter before the seven-year mark because of unmet expectations. ...

Christians Read: Books Review

I Received this book from Moody Press ( )

I'm a big fan of Gary Chapman's writing, having already read The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts and The Five Love Languages for Singles. In his latest book, Chapman, an experienced counselor, shares his wisdom about the different stages of love and the common problems that all couples face. Using examples from his own marriage and stories of those he has counseled, Chapman provides expert advice on arguing, apologizing, and forgiving your partner. He also asks readers to consider their future spouse's attitudes and beliefs toward sex, money, housework, family, and spirituality.

Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married was a thought-provoking read. This book is for everyone - singles, dating couples, engaged couples, or married couples. No matter what your relationship status is, you can benefit from listening to Chapman's advice. I appreciated the real-life examples from Champan's own marriage and from the couples he has counseled. I also liked that each chapter finished with a "Talking It Over" section of discussion questions. The appendix includes a learning exercise, a list of resources, and a list of websites for further advice.

There was a lot of talk about the five love languages, and I found myself only skimming those parts because I had already read a few of his other books. However, it was interesting to see how the love languages were incorporated into all of these lessons. ( )

Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married by Gary Chapman is not just a manual for dating or engaged couples; but has wonderful advice for even those who have been married for years. In his book, Chapman shares lessons learned from his own marriage as well as his years as a marriage counselor. He discusses in depth the need for all couples to invest time in developing a healthy relationship prior to marriage.

Some of the key points I enjoyed reading most about include: love is not enough, 2 stages of romance, solving disagreements without arguing, toilets are not self-cleaning, and personality influences behavior. The discussion questions at the end of each chapter are a wonderful way for couples to begin drawing closer to each other and beginning to develop that healthy relationship that Chapman recommends.

Although Chapman does write about faith and spirituality in this book, even a non-religious person would find this book helpful and insightful. I highly recommend this book to any person anticipating marriage in the future, or anyone dating, engaged or even married already. I fully intend to purchase a copy for my children, and for gifts to give at bridal showers! ( )