Martha Williamson

Epiphany-0viedoELCA library sectino 8 H: Life Skills, Marriage. Forget Vogue and Martha Stewart! Start planning not just the wedding day (which should include God), but the marriage -- you know, the nuts and bolts of married life AFTER the wedding, to prevent yourself from marrying a person you don't really know well. You may know he/she likes hazelnut coffee, but what are your betrothed's feelings about children, spending and saving money, living on a budget, who will work and earn the money, will one of you stay home with your pre-kindergarteners, politics, religion, and so on. These are all deal-breakers and can create huge conflicts and lead to divorce. Talk them all out beforehand. Do your planning beforehand to avoid conflict and misery later on.
Likewise, wedding programs on TV encourage going into debt for fairy tale weddings that cost a fortune. Rather than going into major debt for the wedding day (after all it IS only one day in the life of your marriage), use your funds to plan a modest yet meaningful wedding, and save your money for medical care, further education, cars, downpayments on a house, and other more financially sound reasons. The grandiosity of your wedding is NO indicator whatsoever of whether your marriage will succeed or not. They day AFTER the wedding is really when the marriage begins. Do you want to begin it in major debt or with money in the bank? You can have a gorgeous wedding with dinner and DJ for $5000. I've seen many lovely, meaningful, God-centered weddings for much less. Think hard about this. Overblown weddings are sometimes just that: overblown, meaningless, drunken and in bad taste. Is that what God would want?
This book is very thought-provoking and designed to make God an integral part of your wedding and married life. I highly recommend it for fiancees and recently married couples.
I will just throw in a few more comments of my own. First, DO NOT MARRY BELIEVING THAT YOU CAN CHANGE THE BAD HABITS OR FOIBLES OF THE OTHER BECAUSE YOU CAN'T. It just ain't gonna happen. Second, get to know your fiance's family. Their family dynamics are a good indicator of what your fiance will be like to live with. Does your fiance's family trust your fiance or do they all bad mouth him? That is cause to look closely at your fiance's level of responsibility, honesty and commitment. Three, learn how to fight fair before you marry. A therapist or marriage counselor can help with this. Fourth, NEVER fight in front or your kids -- it damages them severely. Fifth, make all big decisions together, such as when to buy a new car and how much money to spend on it. Learn to live within a family budget. Sixth, use birth control. This helps you plan how many kids you will have, a critical decision that can make or break a marriage. Keep your spouse completely informed about the birth control you are using or not using and when. Do not betray your spouse's trust on this issue nor any other. Use condoms. This will keep you from getting unwanted STDs, including life-threatening ones such as AIDS. If you are too shy to go into a drug store and buy condoms, you are too immature for sex. Period. Marriage is not for sissies or those who cannot communicate. Learn to talk, discuss and make clear what your priorities are. Then you can make a clearer decision about whom to marry and whether to marry at all.… (más)