Arlene Heyman

I must admit that when I was younger I could not imagine old people having sex until one summer evening some friends and I out walking came across a young man vigorously fucking a much, much, older woman in a reasonably public place. Remember that there was no internet and hence no readily available porn in those days so we had no preconceptions to speak of. Apart from the surprise of this encounter I think what left us speechless was that the old woman's vigour certainly matched or surpassed that of the young stud.

In reading some of the other reviews I was surprised to read young people saying that they cannot imagine older people having sex, so much for ideas of liberality among younger people?

Now that I am well and truly a part of the older set I look at older women and can sometimes you can still see the young woman that used to inhabit that body. I've talked to a few that have hinted at adventurous younger times. I can also see that young people will only see the wrinkly skin and not the person. I also get tempted when seeing a group of young people to point to an older person and yell out, "Look carefully, that is your future", but why upset the poor darlings?

So we still have the taboo about old people having sex and these stories show that quite strongly. I do not think they were written for young people so maybe the cover should have a 45 warning on the cover.

If nothing else, this book should give some hope to late the 40s who are facing middle age and wondering if they will ever have sex again. Yes, you will as long as you give up the idea that sexual attraction is fixed to physical appearance alone. Once you get over that you can find real freedom.

It may be worth mentioning for younger people that Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck is well worth a read.… (más)

This is a strongly written story about a woman who is determined to fight for satisfaction in her life. She’s happily married to her second husband. Despite the nay-sayers she fought to become a medical lab tech. It is the 1950 and she became pregnant at 16, the father of her child is one of the biggest obstacles in her quest for self-confidence and self-worth. It’s a no-hold barred account and includes a lot about her carnal desires. If you are put off by this, it’s not your book. If you want to root for a woman who is out to get what she wants, you’ll cheer for Lottie.… (más)

A Netgalley ARC copy of the book (Published in the UK July 2020)

This is a timely novel centred on the life of a woman who wants to work in science. This is in the face of much of her family: Lottie's grandmother is highly supportive but her father and mother are not interested (in different ways): her mother has absented herself in books, her father is convinced shouting will solve his family problems. Her first husband takes persuading that she can work at all (like Olive Kitteridge, the novel jumps around between time periods, so her marital history is not a spoiler). The grind and poverty of doc and postdoc work is well captured. I admired the way the writer was unafraid to write in detail about the grim reality of scientific experimentation, from human anatomy to rats (but as a result, this is a book unlikely to appeal if you find these details hard to read). I come back to the Strout comparison - Lottie is not particularly likeable, but she feels like a real person, with real struggles.
"... name one female composer. It was harder than name one female scientist. It amazed Lottie how much it continued to amaze her that social strictures had crushed women throughout the centuries; some dark part of her assumed that women were inferior, that she was inferior, so her grandmother must have been inferior! And Evelyn! Evelyn inferior!
Consciously Lottie never felt inferior, but now and again she wanted to punch the nearest man."… (más)

Daniela:
In verità di sesso ce n'è davvero poco, il titolo (Old scaring sex) probabilmente è stata la trovata di un editor attento al marketing. C'è la carne, livida, invecchiata, rugosa, scroti flosci e tette cascanti, come in un quadro di Lucien Freud. Ci sono i corpi, malati, ingrassati, morenti. Corpi che cadono dagli squarci delle Twin Towers l'11 settembre, corpi di topi vivisezionati.... Le poche scene di sesso sono tutt'altro che eccitanti, sia per il lettore che per i protagonisti. Ma in questi racconti c'è quello che non si dice, sul sesso. Che è affetto, imbarazzo, talvolta amore, bisogno di conferma, solitudine. L'autrice, una psichiatra al primo libro e al secondo matrimonio, sa quel che ci passa per la testa, quando facciamo sesso. L'intimità dei corpi non corrisponde a quella dei pensieri. L'intimità dei corpi non colma la distanza e le differenze tra le persone. Ma è l'unica cosa che abbiamo per provare a sentirci vicini.… (más)