Melanie Hansen

4 Stars

Ok, so no one is going to be surprised that this is an intense look at grief, not only from a parent’s perspective but that of a best friend. Hansen seems to specialize and thrive on these sorts of tough topics, and I’ve always appreciated her well thought out, sensitive handling of such.

Upon hearing of his son’s death, Trevor is absolutely undone by the what if's and the what could never be’s. Trevor had plans and hopes for the future with newly adult Riley on his return from the front lines in Afghanistan. When that is taken away from him, Trevor’s paralyzed with anguish, thinking he never truly knew the man that Riley had become in the short nine months of being a soldier.

Jesse in turn, is not only coping with the loss of his best friend but his own issues of coming home to civilian life. Through fraught, deadly situations, he had formed a unique bond with Riley, each relying on the other for support, each becoming an integral and necessary part for survival. It’s that shared past that Jesse brings to Trevor that allows both these men to slowly heal.

Again, Hansen deftly puts the reader through their paces. She handles every situation, every setback, and every small minute win with thoughtfulness and grace. It’s only inevitable that as these two grieving men comfort one another, that they would naturally fall in love, eventually embracing life again to honor Riley’s memory.

An affecting very difficult read, but well worth the effort.
… (más)

5 “Do you see the moon, Loren?” stars

“To stability. To strength and perseverance, and unconditional love.”

Damn! This book broke my heart.



My heart broke for Eliot and Loren. These two met when they were 6 years old and become best friends, then when they were 17, Eliot had a major breakdown, Loren did not know how to handle the situation and left. First forward 9 years later they met again and from there the struggle begin.

"Why do you keep me around, Loren? Why do you even care?"
"Because you took my loneliness away, El."

Loren never stopped loving Eliot and when they met again he tried to rekindle what they had and suggested they date. I loved Loren, he was patient and truly believed he could help El and it was not an easy ride.

Eliot took Loren’s cheeks between his palms. “It’s not going to be easy to be with me. When you walk away, and you will—” He put his fingers over Loren’s lips when Loren opened his mouth to protest. “When you walk away, I’m going to pray you’re the one who comes back.”
Loren pulled Eliot against him and buried his lips in his hair. “Just try for me, El,” he murmured. “Do what the doctors tell you to do, don’t shut me out, and I will never walk away.”
Eliot gave a sad smile. “That’s what they all say. Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Loren.” He patted Loren’s cheek and climbed off his lap, leaning down to brush his warm mouth against his.



Eliot oh! My God, loving him is work, he is bipolar, he runs hot and cold and sometimes does and says unforgivable things. I loved him too, rooted for him wanted him to get better and keep the black demon away.

"I'm telling you that I understand what you need going forward. Now I want you to understand what I need. Waiting for you, I can do; wondering and worrying, I can't. Don't do that to me again, Loren. Please."

This book is brutally honest, showed the challenges of being in a relationship with someone who was mentally ill. The author did not hold anything back. I felt really sorry for these characters, and to imagine that this is someone’s reality broke my heart a little more.

“When it comes to bipolar disorder, love isn’t just a feeling. It’s an action word. It’s a fucking decision.”



We get an epilogue but not the one I am used to , the epilogue too is heartbreaking, the black demon will always be with Loren and El.

“To Loren… for always seeing the moon.”… (más)