Elizabeth Flock (2)

While living in India, American reporter Elizabeth Flock began following middle class Indian couples in Mumbai. She ultimately wound up with three that she followed long term--Marwari Hindus Maya and Veer, Muslims Shazad and Sabeena, and Tamil Brahimins Ashok and Parvati. None of the couples have had a smooth path: Maya and Veer eloped against the wishes of their parents, Shazad and Sabeena have struggled with infertility, and Ashok and Parvati agreed to an arranged marriage after failed relationships.

Flock does a good job interviewing the couples, though she uses a narrative style that blends her reporting and interviews with background information and commentary so it's not always entirely clear where the line is between them. She manages, through her long relationship with the couples, to get a remarkable level of detail and openness, including sex, miscarriages, and in-law disputes. All three couples have difficulties adjusting to the rapid pace of social change in Mumbai, in different ways: Maya wants independence, Shazad and Sabeena grieve as his father refuses to allow them to adopt a baby, and Parvati has trouble adjusting to married life.

Overall, this is a good read, and Flock has been careful to do her background research and is aware of the limits of her reporting. She doesn't try to make grand observations about India or its traditions, but tries to keep herself as a more neutral observer and doesn't insert herself into the narrative.… (más)

Rather than merely presenting facts about heterosexual romance and marriage in India, the author brings these otherwise dry statistics to life through the stories of three couples. There is some diversity here--arranged and "love" marriages; Hindu and Muslim faiths; working and middle classes--but many common themes emerge, especially how marriage is the foundation of society because it perpetuates the family line, and having children is an essential part of marriage.. The narratives also include interesting information about current politics and economics in India. The most disturbing thing I learned is that "one in two Indian children--boys and girls both--had been sexually abused." Recommended.… (más)

The growing preference for love vs arranged marriage is a major sea change in the ever-stormy sands of social upheaval in India. As women become more educated, work outside the home, and take jobs in more liberal other countries, they become less willing to put themselves at the mercy of two sets of parents, as well as the astrologers who often have the final say in whether a match is made. In this story, the author delves into the courtship and marriages of three Mumbai couples - the first are Marwaris (known for their relentless drive for business success), the second a Sunni Muslim couple, and the third are Tamil Brahmin Hindus. Each pair, with some romantic experience prior to their marriages, eventually commits to a partner chosen by their parents - and the parents themselves end up being the greatest cause of problems and tensions for them. Mumbai, in all of its overwhelming growth, pollution, monsoons, and religious strife, is both a fantasy and a nightmare setting. The three couples share all their confidences with the author in a manner that is almost startling in its intimacy. It's both remarkable sociology and a powerful introduction to middle class Indian city life.… (más)