Andy BehrmanReseñas

Behrman doesn't tell the reader what mania is like; he shows it. Reading Behrman is exhausting in an illuminating way. The frenetic exposition enacts mania nicely. In some ways, so does Behrman's emotional flatness in recounting some of his experiences. The memoir tends toward the linear recounting of events rather than the construction of the more-complex narrative I would have wished for, and I would have preferred more self-reflection at points throughout. Still, it's a very good, unvarnished look at how intoxicating, and how debilitating, bipolar disorder can be.

I have read over a hundred books that address mental illness from various angles. Electroboy is easily one of the best, and absolutely one of my favorites. Movie coming soon!

Phew! This book is exhausting to read. As the book opens, the author, in a manic state, is constantly on the go seeking ever increasing stimulation. His adventures include drugs, multi-partner sex, spending sprees, distant travel, business ideas, criminal activity, and late night wandering. The co-morbidities of his mania, particularly his obsessive tendencies and trichotillomania, never slow him down.

The beginning of the book was a puzzle to me because I was expecting to read about manic and depressive cycling. I was waiting for the mania to end and then the depression and the psychiatric visits to kick in. If there was depression at the start, I failed to recognize it. I also could not understand the little attention the author gave to his psychiatric care throughout most of the book. Perhaps I needed to read between the lines a bit more. He spoke more of it toward the end of the book.

Andy does not take much time at first to reflect on his feelings. I’m assuming that this is either part of his condition or simply denial. I'm always interested in motivating factors and would have liked to have read more about that. Despite this flaw, I think that Andy's memoir is certainly written in a way that makes for sustainable and interesting reading.

While reading about Andy, I often found myself thinking of people in my own life who have carried on with the same sort of reckless abandon, living for the mania of the moment without stepping back to dwell on consequences of particular behaviors. I never really considered a person's simple inability to do this. This inability became apparent in Andy's story. I realized how much of a burden this is on family and friends who often feel hopeless in attempts to intervene.

I would recommend this book for its detailed inside look at the life of a person with bipolar disorder. It also presents a case for use of electroconvulsive therapy as an adjunct to treating this disorder when all else fails. This frightens me, but I can see that it is sometimes necessary as a last resort. I appreciate the clarity with which Andy transmits his experiences. For his willingness to share his story with others, I am truly grateful to the author.

A fun read if your into books about crazy people.

[Manic depression is] about blips and burps of madness, moments of absolute delusion, bliss, and irrational and dangerous choices made in order to heighten pleasure and excitement and to ensure a sense of control. [. . .] Manic depression is not simply flip-flopping between up and down moods. It's not a creative spirit, and it's not certainly not joie de vivre. It's not about being wild and crazy.
-- from the preface of Electroboy

I've realized that I'm searching for a piece of writing that helps me validate my emotions. I want to find somebody else who has felt the wild mood swings and survived, even though every minute is another test. I want to find another person who cannot function when asked to pick up the phone and dial a stranger; who chokes when asked why s/he couldn't finish the term paper; who runs around being interested in everything and everyone but can't sit down and relax and focus.

Being bipolar is hard.

Back in January, Al gave me An Unquiet Mind to read[1]. I read it. It bothered me. Yeah so the experiences were similar, but something still lacked. It left me wanting more. I don't get manic. I don't get delusional. What I deal with is hypo-mania: I explain it as being a 5yr old on a sugar high, running around, talking a mile a minute, not focusing but being interested in everything. Eventually, there's a crash. Just like a sugar high.

I stated before that recommended Electroboy by Andy Behrman. Zoom in on the subtitle "A memoir of mania." I don't know what I was looking for when I finally did pick it up. Perhaps validation, perhaps insight. To be honest I was looking forward to his descriptions of his depression more than his mania, but I still didn't know what to expect.

I didn't like it.

Ok that's a bit harsh. It's well written and I enjoyed reading it. I felt that Behrman did a wonderful job putting down what was happening to him into words. As a text to recommend, I'll back it up just fine. But there's something missing for me. I couldn't relate. Running around at high speed. The sex, the drugs, the rock and roll. It's not me. I was let down; my expectations were too high.

Bit of trivia though: Behrman grew up in the same area that I did. There were countless times where I went "OMG NEW JERSEY!!! OMG I KNOW THAT STREET!! OMG I WAS JUST THERE!!! OMG HE JUST NAMED CHECKED THE MALL I WORK AT!!!" That makes me happy. It's the little things right? (:

I'd like to meet this guy. He's a survivor. There are very few of them (us) that have the courage to write about our survival, especially since there is so much stigma associated with having a mood disorder or mental illness. I give him props for writing about the "other" side of being bipolar, even if it's not something I can fully embrace as being my own.

xposted to , , and my own lj.

[1] Review and thoughts are here