this is an excellent book. the title doesn't do it justice because it calls all men to be what God calls them to be... father or not a father yet... husbands... or husbands to be... even for us women to read to be better positioned to help, encourage, and pray for our husbands. for all parents with sons and daughters... there are both sides to consider regarding stewardship for raising our kiddos. oh if only i knew this sooner! trusting in the Sovereignty of God :) ( )

In What He Must Be ...If He Wants to Marry My Daughter Voddie Baucham Jr. does Christian dads a favor. He challenges them with a biblical vision of Christian courtship; and he cushions his challenge with a clear cut, easy to read, guide for how to think and plan about their daughter's future marriage.

Baucham realizes his message is as controversial as it is straightforward. Our culture prejudices us to an overly romantic idea regarding marriage. While parents feel freedom to guide and support their children in college and career choices, they are pressured to back off when it comes to their teenager's love life. Against this cultural backdrop, Baucham traces out a biblical vision of courtship, calling on dads and moms to think carefully about this aspect of their children's future.

Baucham considers "modern dating" to be "no more than glorified divorce practice." He counsels protecting a daughter's heart as much as her body. This entails thinking intentionally about the kind of man one would want for their daughter. Parents train their daughters to look for such a man, and are partners with her in the entire process.

The bulk of the book concerns the qualities of a suitable Christian man. And sadly such men, according to the author's frank admission, are in short supply. No worry, if you "can't find one... build one"! If you can't find a man who is a follower of Christ, prepared to lead like Christ, who is committed to a biblical view of children, and who can be your daughter's protector, provider, prophet and priest... then you must find a promising young man and disciple him (or build him) yourself.

Counter-cultural and radical? Yes. Unthinkable? No. Baucham carefully builds his vision of Christ-centered family life, making it increasingly clear as he progresses. The Bible is brought to bear on topics many Christians don't take time to consider well. And Baucham's warm, personable and very readable style aid him in transmitting his message effectively.

One may not be ready to follow all points of the author's plan, after reading the book through. But a careful reading of Baucham's message will certainly change anyone's perspective on the extremely high calling of parenthood. I urge everyone to consider picking up this book, and let Voddie Baucham Jr. walk you through a biblical view of courtship. And may God be pleased to provide our sons and daughters godly spouses for His glory and their joy.

Disclaimer: This book was provided by Crossway Books for review. I was under no obligation to offer a favorable review.

An expanded version of this review is available at CrossFocusedReviews.com, where you can find book excerpts, giveaways, promotional offers, audio reviews and more. ( )

Excellent book on what Biblical manhood should look like. ( )

Within the church a family reformation is taking place. Parents are turning away from the norms of our Western culture and seeking God’s will in His word; turning away from cultural norms as standards for family structure and patterns and towards His ways. Voddie Baucham is amongst the leading teachers at the forefront of this revival. An excellent, literal exegete, he digs into scripture to uncover principles relating to the standards for Christian husbands and the methods we utilize to enter into the covenant of marriage in What He Must Be …If He Wants to Marry My Daughter.

With three daughters under the age of six, many would find our family’s passion for careful attention to the courtship process in our daughter’s lives bizarre. However, we’ve been given a passion for guarding the hearts of our children, and doing our utmost to ensure that they marry qualified Christian young men. With growing numbers of families like ours in the church, Baucham has heeded the call and put pen to page to create far more than a simple checklist of “what he must be”. Far more than a simplistic check-list that potential suitors must go through to achieve paternal approval, Baucham has written a mini-apologetic for marriage, biblical manhood, and yes – courtship, within one accessible volume.

The stage is set in the initial chapters that lay out the multi-generational vision for Christian families who serve the Lord, the vital importance of covenant marriages, and the necessity for fathers to become involved in the courtships of their daughters. In this foundation Baucham rightly rejects outright the current practices of serial monogamy (dating), in order to protect and maintain purity of body and heart in our children. It is only then that he begins to illustrate the bare bones requirements that he, and any father, should ensure are met before giving away their daughter’s hand in marriage.

While the standards he presents are rarely found in young men today, Baucham’s list is not pulled from personal preference or flights of fancy. Each of his listed qualifications is pulled directly from the pages of scripture, as the Word of God explains what husbands should, and must be if they are to follow the call of God on their lives. Readers who have not had the benefit of Godly counsel in the selection of a mate will most certainly wish they’d had these criteria and the sound biblical support available to them before marriage.

Working through the importance of marriage between believers, male leadership, sacrificial love, welcoming children, and a young man’s potential to serve as priest, prophet, and provider to his wife, Baucham carefully builds an image of what these latent traits may look like in a single young man, drawing from scripture, biographies of notable Christian men, and the words of church fathers. He both debunks false requirements for potential mates (most notably ethnicity and heritage) and encourages fathers to undertake disciplining potential suitors in the required skills new husbands will need if they are found lacking.

I can’t recommend What He Must Be more highly. Written primarily to fathers I can easily see families with children approaching marriageable age digging into this together and catching a collective vision for the future. Every parent with a daughter, those raising sons who will one day be husbands, every young woman approaching marriageable age, every father, every mother, every Christian family will find food for thought and sound encouragement and equipping to answer the call back to a biblical model of courtship.

Reviewed at quiverfullfamily.com ( )