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The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center

por Rhaina Cohen

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""Rhaina Cohen's moving, intimate portraits of people in unusually devoted friendships upend our cultural narratives about which relationships matter . . . an arresting work of compassion and insight."--Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author ofMaybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of Dear Therapists podcast. Why do we assume romantic relationships are more important than friendships? What do we lose when we expect a spouse to meet all our needs? And what can we learn about commitment, love, and family from people who put deep friendship at the center of their lives? In The Other Significant Others, NPR's Rhaina Cohen invites us into the lives of people who have defied convention by choosing a friend as a life partner--these are friends who are home co-owners, co-parents or each other's caregivers. Their riveting stories unsettle widespread assumptions about relationships, including the idea that sex is a defining feature of partnership and that people who raise kids together should be ina romantic relationship. Platonic partners from different walks of life--spanning age and religion, gender and sexuality and more--reveal how freeing and challenging it can be to embrace a relationship model that society doesn't recognize. And they showthat orienting your world around friends isn't limited to daydreams and episodes of The Golden Girls, but actually possible in real life. Based on years of original reporting and striking social science research, Cohen argues that we undermine romantic relationships by expecting too much of them, while we diminish friendships by expecting too little of them. She traces how, throughout history, our society hasn't always fixated on marriage as the greatest source of meaning, or even love. At a time when many Americans are spending large stretches of their lives single, widowed or divorced, or feeling the effects of the "loneliness epidemic," Cohen insists that we recognize the many forms of profound connection that can anchor our lives. A rousing and incisive book, The Other Significant Others challenges us to ask what we want from our relationships--not just what we're supposed to want--and transforms how we define a fulfilling life"--… (más)
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Overall, The Other Significant Others was decent, but slightly mis-marketed.

It was nice hearing about the stories of these different people and how they came to build a friendship outside of the status quo. The information and stories presented were good and effective, and I agreed with many of Cohen's topics and arguments throughout the book.

The use of the word "Reimagining" in the title, though, can imply a sort-of "how-to." It was definitely geared more towards people who have been in the status-quo but are less than thrilled with it and looking to learn how other people live their lives and new practices to incorporate into their own. But, it only tells the reader that these closer friendships are okay, and doesn't explore how to actually go about deepening those friendships. It also has a very heavy lean on queer platonic relationships and legal rights surrounding children, medical decisions, and inheritance of those relationships, and does not focus on relationships which may not want to incorporate a more "partner" role or "legal" role.

As someone who knows more about polyamory and queer platonic relationships, this book presented nothing new. While they were good stories, it's all stuff I've heard before. ( )
  Griffin_Reads | May 20, 2024 |
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""Rhaina Cohen's moving, intimate portraits of people in unusually devoted friendships upend our cultural narratives about which relationships matter . . . an arresting work of compassion and insight."--Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author ofMaybe You Should Talk to Someone and co-host of Dear Therapists podcast. Why do we assume romantic relationships are more important than friendships? What do we lose when we expect a spouse to meet all our needs? And what can we learn about commitment, love, and family from people who put deep friendship at the center of their lives? In The Other Significant Others, NPR's Rhaina Cohen invites us into the lives of people who have defied convention by choosing a friend as a life partner--these are friends who are home co-owners, co-parents or each other's caregivers. Their riveting stories unsettle widespread assumptions about relationships, including the idea that sex is a defining feature of partnership and that people who raise kids together should be ina romantic relationship. Platonic partners from different walks of life--spanning age and religion, gender and sexuality and more--reveal how freeing and challenging it can be to embrace a relationship model that society doesn't recognize. And they showthat orienting your world around friends isn't limited to daydreams and episodes of The Golden Girls, but actually possible in real life. Based on years of original reporting and striking social science research, Cohen argues that we undermine romantic relationships by expecting too much of them, while we diminish friendships by expecting too little of them. She traces how, throughout history, our society hasn't always fixated on marriage as the greatest source of meaning, or even love. At a time when many Americans are spending large stretches of their lives single, widowed or divorced, or feeling the effects of the "loneliness epidemic," Cohen insists that we recognize the many forms of profound connection that can anchor our lives. A rousing and incisive book, The Other Significant Others challenges us to ask what we want from our relationships--not just what we're supposed to want--and transforms how we define a fulfilling life"--

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