In recent decades, American society has collectively forgotten the virtue of fostering belonging in others. There seem to be many causes contributing to this central effect – political partisanship, technology, police injustices, lingering racism, the capitalistic thrust of media, and more. Cohen, a Stanford psychology professor, takes aim at this rich topic by presenting a comprehensive theory driven by research and then drawing out several practical applications. He does so to help modern social problems as well as to enhance individual effectiveness.

This work gripped me from beginning to end. However, it was not a page-turner to be read cover-to-cover in a handful of days. Rather, I read one chapter per day and lingered on its applications to my life over time. One chapter took me about an hour to read and gave me plenty of nuggets to chew on. Even though research drives Cohen’s understanding, he presents it to be digested by the reading public.

Cohen attempts to teach readers how to “craft situations” whereby others will feel like they belong. He also presents compelling evidence that a sense of belonging has health, social, and bottom-line results. This art of crafting situations requires some thought and nuance, but the book walks readers through how to adjust their thoughts towards this aim. Front-page topics like race, gender and social media are explored throughout. The conclusion even delineates several small adages to use with less scholarly audiences.

This book is for anyone who has trouble interacting with people who are different than themselves. So that includes just about everyone. And this book is written with everyone in mind. Though filled with academic research, it attempts to address the general public. Personal anecdotes stand side-by-side with descriptions of studies. Of course, in an America where people are growing increasingly suspicious of even their neighbors, this book is timely. I, for one, look forward to applying its insights with my co-workers, friends, and neighbors. ( )

I wanted to read this book because I see the huge need that so many people have, especially youths, to fit in, be accepted, or belong to a collective or group. In the divisive world we live in, this is not as easy as it seems. And even when it is, there is often a negative side that comes with belonging and that is exclusivity. The perspective that you’re one of us or not of us.

Geoffrey L Cohen is a Stanford psychology professor so I tended to give his words some serious thought and found that I agreed with many of them.

I especially enjoyed section three of this book - Fostering Belonging in All Walks of Life because it offered a practical application for implementing situational arenas that touched on all ages with school and work. It even discussed policing our communities and the political policies that are one of the most powerful elements of division in our society.

This is a big book and one that isn’t conducive to skimming. So make the time to read it thoroughly. I think you’ll be glad you did. ( )