Reread: I must've read this book 3 times now in it's interity, also in segments, but I still marvel at things.

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Original review:
If you already read [b:The Book of Beginnings: It's Just Us Here|39326179|The Book of Beginnings It's Just Us Here|Christopher X. Sullivan|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1521505172l/39326179._SY75_.jpg|60946210] you might have some inkling of what this book is about.

On a fateful day, Chris and Mark were destined to meet, the stars aligned and... Haha! No! ;D

What happened is that Mark, the cocky model saw a guy after his morning run, sitting in a park talking to himself and thought 'Hmm, this guy seems weird, I should ask what he's doing, he might appreciate the company...' NOT.

Chris, the writer was doing his scheduled voice-typing after his run in the park. He didn't want any interruption, certainly not from an annoying, sweaty guy.

Imagine an intelligent, funny, quick-witted, surefooted guy, Chris, who's perfectly happy with his writing. He doesn't think about girlfriends/boyfriends, relationships and the whole package in general. And sex? Ew! Germs! He's a sweet and adorable guy, who likes to help people when he can.

And then there's Mark. Cuddly Mark, Grumpy Mark and Slutty Mark all rolled into one. A charming, cheeky, confident, self-assured hotshot, he likes being the center of attention and he shine's brighter then the sun. He doesn't think about serious relationships, he likes his hookups. But he's lonely and in need of a friend.

After that encounter in the park the two men got to know each other. And despite their different personalities they slowly became friends.

But are they really that different? And is it only friendship they could have? Do they wan't more?

What you'll get from this book:

- slow-burn (really, there's not even a kiss)
- sexual frustration (poor Mark) ;)
- a lot of laughter, like a LOT (I'm not even kidding)
- fashion advice (thanks Mark, I now know if I do a squat and my pants won't split open in the middle, then it's safe to say, they're not too skinny) ;D
- you will smile and swoon, get angry at times and tear up (so all the feels)
- you'll see a battle of wills through several encounters, playful arguments and bickering
- it will made you think about some stuff that you haven't considered before or disregarded
- long after reading this story, you will catch yourself smiling at nothing at odd times (and people might think you're crazy)

I know it seems long, but once you're in it you won't even notice that you're already halfway through and when you're done, you'll just want more. It's only the beginning of their story, the next book will be about their friendship becoming more.

It's a true story, a memoir written as romance. Come along on Chris and Mark's journey towards love.

Enjoy the ride! :D


***I received a free copy of this book for beta reading purposes.*** ( )

I'm at 45% and have been for a while. I have no desire to continue at this time, but maybe at some point, later.

Now LIVE on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07MQ6G7DG

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I’m going to get very serious with this review. I already said in [b:The Book of Beginnings: It's Just Us Here|39326179|The Book of Beginnings It's Just Us Here|Christopher X. Sullivan|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1521505172s/39326179.jpg|60946210], that Chris’s life story is affecting me deeply like a mirror has been opened into my own soul, but I never said why. So I’m going to share something very personal to show you just how important this book is for asexuals. I will share this once and then never talk about it again.

I used to see my life like a piano symphony. Everyday I woke up to play my song over and over again, until the tune was flawless. Every hurdle, every fear, every limitation was a broken note in my symphony. I didn’t like my song to be out of tune, and just like a piano player rehearsed those broken passages to perfection, I too came back again and again to my fears, and hurdles, and limitations until I pulverized them.

But I never knew what to do about my sexuality. I never understood why I never looked at a man (or a woman, or any human being for that matter) and could never see them as a sexual partner. I never understood why I never felt the butterflies in my stomach when I was kissed, I never knew the goosebumps of a touch on my arm and I never was really, truly interested in sex. When friends in high school asked me ‘who do you like?’ I always shrugged. When I was asked 'Who is the hottest boy in school?' I shrugged.

Twelve years ago, I thought I was broken. I thought I had received a defective body at incarnation. My symphony was out of tune and I had no idea how to play the notes. Boy, I wish I had Chris’s book then. I wish I knew what an asexual was twelve years ago. I wish I knew there were others like me out there and that is okay not to feel any sexual desires towards….anyone.

I really thought I was broken. And I could not accept it. So I hid it and created a persona for myself which I showed to everyone, except my boyfriend who is also my best friend and was the only one that knew me for real. For everybody else, I was a great actor, and I played the role of Mark the social butterfly like a pro.

I considered my lack of sexuality a limitation. I never accepted my limitations or my fears. They were broken notes, and I rehearsed them until they played so right, smoke came out of the piano strings.
Just like Chris, I hate being complimented and being told I was attractive. So I started modelling to get used to it when I was 19.

Just like Chris, I hate being the center of attention. Guess who leads a global team in a corporation and has to give live presentations in front of hundreds of people?

Just like Chris, I hate clubs. As a manager I need to lead my team to those stupid corporate events and act like I have fun. The 'soul of the party' I have been called. One of my best acts ever.

I’m a very indoor person. I like to cuddle and vegetate on my couch, read and maybe write. I couldn’t accept that either, so I shipped my ass to Camino de Santiago and walked 400 miles to Santiago de Compostela to call myself more outdoorsy.

Just like Chris, I once thought I may be gay, if I didn’t have any interest in men, maybe I was interested in women? So I went to a lesbian club to test it out. Worst. Decision. Ever! I was 19 at that time. I was a former athlete. The sport I practiced required me lifting weights. I could push up to 90kg, so even if I was like 57 kg myself I could lift someone almost twice my weight. I have a problem with personal space. I have a problem with touching without my permission. I have a problem with people being sexually aggressive. So I went to the club. And to say that those ladies were aggressive in coming onto me it is mildly put. Chris was cute when he was saying that he blushed and transformed into a turtle and hid whenever someone was coming onto him. I transformed into fucking King Kong. This lady touched my leg in the club. I felt beyond uncomfortable. I frowned at her hand and asked her to take it away. She didn’t. I asked her again. She grabbed my thigh and squeezed. That poor, poor lady. She never knew what hit her. She flew over the couch on the other side like a torpedo. Guess who had her personal space the entire night. Ten meters of it.


Only recently I have realized how wrong I was playing the symphony. Because I was not accepting myself, I was not playing my own song, but the song society had built for me. Soon, the illness came. I strongly believe that every disease in your body is triggered by a negative emotion you kept locked away until it started to affect your body. When you don’t accept yourself and you don’t love yourself as a woman you get issues with your ovaries. Everything is well now, I am healthy, I have a completely different approach to life, and I have been in a relationship with my best friend for 11 years. But it has been a work of many, many years to get me where I am now and to get me to accept myself. Reading the Friend right now, in this period of my life feels like a final compensation from my oversoul that all is well with me and I have passed the trials of this game of acceptance.

But I still wish I had Chris’s book earlier. It would have been so helpful, it would have been a lesson on how to understand myself.

I believe Mark was a God given gift to Chris. Without Mark, Chris would never have been so happy as he is now. No matter the struggles between them, they were meant for each other, meeting at the right time, in the right period of their lives, so they could grow together and balance each other out, until they became one single soul, one single heart and one single breath.
I cried several times during this book because I could connect to both Mark and Chris and feel the love they have for each other. This book shows the beginning, when they were just friends. Seeing them slowly fall in love and not realizing it was completely beautiful.

God, I love this series. It’s different than anything I have ever read in my life. This will be one of those books I will read over and over again as the years will pass.
I am compelled by the goodreads rules to say that I am one of the beta readers of The Friend, together with Gabriella and Annob, so I did receive this for free from the author and my opinion is honest. If you didn’t get that yet. :) ( )