Alpha males, delicate souls, and a killer-psychopath hit it off in an impossible scramble for the last happy ending. Yes, the GREEN EYES take you on a roller-coaster ride of gay romance ("When bipolar John meets mesmerizing Alex in the cruising area of Georgia Beach, little does he know about Alex's haunted past..."). And, yes, the book is about lithe, tapered bodies, perfect abs, and out-sized male organs. It's about love. And hurt. And murder. And redemption. Glands fire. People talk during intercourse. There's a hilarious supporting cast. Expectations are met. Yet we do more. We have Nobel laureates. We have an even-handed discussion of the orthographic skills of the Tea Party ("No pubic option"). We have educational content about the mysteries of vasocongestion. We have neologisms ("Ikea moment," "Armani minimum"). You learn about the 302 neurons that constitute the brain of a microscopic worm---and how this all relates to the IQ of John's hated, child-abusing father. You participate in an in-flagrante masterclass. You get a hitchhiker's guide to gay sex. You learn about the unheard-of provisions still on the Georgia books prohibiting all but intra-marriage intercourse (Title 16, Ch. 6). You hear about Torre's observation ("The other line is moving faster"). You'll be amazed by our avant-garde art and music, or by the voracious appetites of two desperate housewives ("Consenting adults, unite"). We have secret drugs, Agatha Christie, Sherlock Holmes, Albert Camus, Mark Twain, and countable near-death experiences. Pizzas are under-cooked. Our bears (hairy middle-aged homosexuals) are ticklish. And there's a table of contents. Are you still there? Then you will like the book.