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Conflict Is Not Abuse: Overstating Harm, Community Responsibility, and the Duty of Repair

por Sarah Schulman

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395764,912 (3.7)1
From intimate relationships to global politics, Sarah Schulman observes a continuum: that inflated accusations of harm are used to avoid accountability. Illuminating the difference between Conflict and Abuse, Schulman directly addresses our contemporary culture of scapegoating. This deep, brave, and bold work reveals how punishment replaces personal and collective self-criticism, and shows why difference is so often used to justify cruelty and shunning. Rooting the problem of escalation in negative group relationships, Schulman illuminates the ways cliques, communities, families, and religious, racial, and national groups bond through the refusal to change their self-concept. She illustrates how Supremacy behavior and Traumatized behavior resemble each other, through a shared inability to tolerate difference. This important and sure to be controversial book illuminates such contemporary and historical issues of personal, racial, and geo-political difference as tools of escalation towards injustice, exclusion, and punishment, whether the objects of dehumanization are other individuals in our families or communities, people with HIV, African Americans, or Palestinians.… (más)
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Mostrando 1-5 de 6 (siguiente | mostrar todos)
I could not finish this book, despite how much I wanted to.

I think the main premise of the book is excellent. There are a lot of very relatable and meaninful points about how people overstate harm in conflict, and how that creates more problems in our communities.

But the author also makes some pretty ignorant statements, like claiming that all important conversations must happen in person or the person asking for otherwise is being intentionally cruel (I guess she's never talked to Autistic people before), and that requiring content warnings in academic settings is the same thing as censorship. ( )
  EmberMantles | Jan 1, 2024 |
Sarah Schulman is brilliant. ( )
  LizzK | Dec 8, 2023 |
Hated it. Felt like reading a C- masters thesis. ( )
  dualmon | Nov 17, 2021 |
Addresses an important issue, and well-written in parts, but the central thesis is rather undermined by the author's unwillingness to take accountability for her own mistakes, or even accept that she may be wrong sometimes. ( )
  Clare_L | Sep 20, 2021 |
There's some real insight here, but I think this book would have been better as a single focused essay. Instead the author has added a lot of anecdata which I'm not sure holds up to scrutiny, a thesis-less critique of the queer reclamation of family as a thing we get to have, and an extended piece on the 2014 Gaza war that is mostly other people's social media posts (and no evidence that permission was given for publication of those posts). ( )
  elenaj | Jul 31, 2020 |
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“I am grateful to the men and women who create books, and I forgive the men and women who make books necessary.”

— VOICE AT QUAKER MEETING, Peterborough New Hampshire
“It is not only that we may not choose with whom to cohabitate, but that we must actively preserve the unchosen character of inclusive and plural cohabitation; we not only live with those we never chose and to whom we may feel no social sense of belonging, but we are also obligated to preserve their lives and the plurality of which they form a part. In this sense, concrete political norms and ethical prescriptions emerge from the unchosen character of these modes of cohabitation.”

— JUDITH BUTLER, Parting Ways: Jewishness and the Critique of Zionism, 2013
“Shunning is so often the go-to tool of people dealing with problems or conflict in queer communities, which only contributes to cycles of dehumanization and abuse. It’s the easy, simplistic response too often deployed for all manner of interpersonal and inter-community conflict.”

— COOPER LEE BOMBARDIER, Facebook post, January 2015
“I want people to be open to the little power that they do have.”

— LISA HENDERSON, personal conversation, 2015
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This book is dedicated with love to Hindeleh Pivko,

who was only a little girl.
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AS I BEGAN THIS BOOK during the summer of 2014, the human community witnessed systemic repetition of unjustified cruelty with exhaustion and frustration.
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From intimate relationships to global politics, Sarah Schulman observes a continuum: that inflated accusations of harm are used to avoid accountability. Illuminating the difference between Conflict and Abuse, Schulman directly addresses our contemporary culture of scapegoating. This deep, brave, and bold work reveals how punishment replaces personal and collective self-criticism, and shows why difference is so often used to justify cruelty and shunning. Rooting the problem of escalation in negative group relationships, Schulman illuminates the ways cliques, communities, families, and religious, racial, and national groups bond through the refusal to change their self-concept. She illustrates how Supremacy behavior and Traumatized behavior resemble each other, through a shared inability to tolerate difference. This important and sure to be controversial book illuminates such contemporary and historical issues of personal, racial, and geo-political difference as tools of escalation towards injustice, exclusion, and punishment, whether the objects of dehumanization are other individuals in our families or communities, people with HIV, African Americans, or Palestinians.

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