The first time I ever met a hardcore devotee of BDSM I was 23. It is not like today when people proudly display their Disneyfied version of BDSM with their furlined cuffs and magnetic tongue "piercings" and occasionally read self-help books by real doms to spice things up in the marital bed. Back then, in the late 80's, BDSM was underground and very real and whether practiced at home or in dungeons it was supposed to hurt. Anyway ... the person I met was a friend-of-a-friend who turned out to be semi-famous-for-a-minute for writing what was the first mainstream book about BDSM. Her name is Gloria Brame and the book was Different Loving. I have no idea if it is still in print, and I have not seen Gloria since she married her sub and they moved to live in kink heaven is some remote part of Georgia sometime in the later 80's. Though we were never more than acquaintances, I will always remember Gloria for introducing me to true kink through the eyes and words of a Columbia MFA student who had once been married to a dentist and lived on Long Island (which is to say someone I found relatable in a way that the latex dipped women in the downtown clubs where punks and freaks converged were not.) I became fascinated with BDSM, especially full-time power exchange, at that time, and for a bit I immersed myself in that community in a Margaret Mead way. I met some incredible people, a few of whom are still friends, but the idea of your sexuality defining your every waking moment was not appealing to me so I stopped hanging with them. (I will also always remember Gloria for taking me to a party where Allen Ginsburg sat in a corner with a very very very young British boy on a leash and told tawdry stories and railed about the decline of America, but that is not relevant to this review.) The reason I started going down this road was to draw distinctions between real BDSM, and the 50 Shades variety. That is not a slam at 50 Shades, the writing is shit but I thought it was pretty hot, but it has nothing to do with real submission. S&M is supposed to hurt, real masochists need it to hurt. So Dark Secret Love is a real bit of erotica written by a masochist and there is a lot of pain and a lot of degradation. It feels completely authentic to me. I won't say what I found erotic and what I found appalling, nor how much intersection there was in that Venn diagram. Everyone will have different responses to the material, so my reactions are not important. I will say that this book is very well written. Tyler has a unique and compelling voice, and I was rapt even when the things she did were IMO heartbreaking and indicative of the need for serious mental health intervention. And I was not Margaret Mead-ing while reading this, I was not detached. As with my bit of time with Gloria Brame I found Samantha (the main character's name, though this feels very autobiographical) really relatable. If you are interested in erotica that depicts the real life of a submissive and does so with spare and evocative prose, no hearts and flowers, I cannot recommend this enough. ( )

I had a really really mixed feelings about this book after I finished it. I read it and I was just thinking "What the hell am I feeling right now??". I don''t regret reading this book because this is a refreshing idea and a new perspective on BDSM. Alison Tyler is a beautiful writer, her writing will keep you up all night. I can't compare this book to any other, not just because I haven't read a lot of bdsm books, but because I don't think there is another book similar and as powerful as this. I read that this story is not 100% fiction, there is an authors life right between those pages. Which made the book so much better, because it felt real. So sexual and raw. Punishing for pleasure and pleasure some with pain. The man character Samantha really captured me. I admit I couldn't really understand the need that Samantha had, the need for pain. But after finishing it, I understood. I can say that some dark parts of the book even turned me on, which was a surprise. I can honestly say that I did enjoy reading it. There were some things that were bothering me about this book, that is why I can't say that Dark Secret Love is amazing, but what I can say is that you should give it a chance. I feel like a lot of people will find this refreshing, especially if you like bdsm in your romance(; ( )

Please see my review from October 9th. The two reviews won't link.

Oh, this book. I hate this book so much. I picked it up because I heard Alison Tyler was a much better writer than many mainstream romance and erotica authors, and she is. She is a wonderful, talented writer. Unfortunately, she writes about exactly the same things that I take issue with in all romance and erotica books.

This one began with so much potential. She devoted a fair share of the first act to an unhealthy relationship and how she overcame it to find herself again. Everything seemed fresh, original and authentic, until act two.

Cue rich man who slaps her and makes her feel alive like no other. Cue him stalking her before she ever actually talked to him. Cue him having his staff move her car, move her possessions into his home, cue him possessing her by buying her things.

Is this the ultimate fantasy women share? Is this our modern suffrage movement - the freedom from autonomy in relationships? In this age of information, we have ten thousand shitty ebooks that glorify violence against women and the relinquishing of power to abusive men? Well hallelujah, the fucking enlightenment is upon us!

How could women be so culpable in their own subjugation? How is this a fantasy? I have no problem with some handcuffs, or spanking. I even understand that some people do enjoy pain in conjunction with sexual pleasure. But I do not understand people who say they want no control over their body or their life.

Tyler literally describes Jack as treating Samantha as a "pet." She knows not to dare sit next to him, but to fold herself up on the floor as he holds the leash attached to her color. He secretly watches her interact with other men to ensure she doesn't FLIRT, because that would violate her behavior laws (yet later forces her to seduce and kiss a waiter so he can punish her). He follows her on a trip to New York that is supposed to be about HER career. And of course she's glad he did, because she was "lonely" without him.

Does that sound familiar? Like Bella and Edward? Like Ana and Christian? Like Eva and Gideon?

Mostly, I take great issue with the fact that throughout the book, Samantha repeatedly "does not know" why she "needs" to feel pain. Get a therapist. Figure it out. If, at the end of the day, you decide you want to enter in to a relationship where you are expect to enhance the environment around someone else and nothing else, fine. But don't tell me you don't know why. Don't tell me you want this, or you need this. And for fuck's sake, could someone write a book with sex in it that has to do with something other than a rich man possessing a meek woman?

This is the book 50 Shades of Grey wishes it could be. Tyler's quasi-autobiographical account of the Doms she has submitted to is deeply sensual and sexy without being unbelievable. Tyler takes care to explain from a realistic point of view why a woman would be drawn to this kind of sexual practice. She does so without digressing or ranting, too, showing rather than telling the mindset of her main character (loosely based on herself). There isn't much of a plot, but there doesn't need to be. A fascinating and steamy exploration of the true BDSM scene. ( )