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Pretending to Be Normal: Living With Asperger's Syndrome

por Liane Holliday Willey

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308484,414 (3.47)1
Compelling and witty, Liane Holliday Willey's account of growing to adulthood as an undiagnosed 'Aspie' has been read by thousands of people on and off the autism spectrum since it was first published in 1999. Bringing her story up to date, including her diagnosis as an adult, and reflecting on the changes in attitude over 15 years, this expanded edition will continue to entertain (and inform) all those who would like to know a little more about how it feels to spend your life 'pretending to be normal'.… (más)
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I could rant for a long time about this book as someone who has been struggling with Asperger's Syndrome (ASD but let me keep it brief. This isn't a book about how anyone with ASD can learn to live with this debilitating condition. It's not even about how the general population of those with ASD have learned to survive. Instead this book is best described as:" I had such a sad experience in college but because of being extremely lucky throughout my life there is a silver lining and a happy ending, If I can be lucky so you can you!". The mistake the author makes is assume that everyone with ASD can relate to a well spoken, well skilled and highly intelligent lucky individual. In reality most people with ASD get frequently fired, have a very high probability of committing suicide and in general lead miserable lives as adults. By the way, how do you know someone has a very high IQ? They will tell you immediately, and the author certainly does in chapter 1 on page 19 second paragraph. ( )
  TheCriticalTimes | Apr 20, 2021 |
This is a book about Asperger's syndrome penned by one suffering from it. However the author's Asperger's syndrome was not diagnosed (if it ever was) until one of her own children received this diagnosis.

What shall I say? The author is exceedingly articulate and expresses in detail whatever she wants to say. The book was a bit too intense for me (who apparently have many of the symptoms of AS as do practically all of the reviewers on this site.) She tells us about the problems she had in her childhood and later in life. She is apparently extremely extrovert and has difficulty in refraining from immediately blurting out her opinions, and indeed enjoys talking in front of a group. Though I have seen elsewhere that some AS sufferers have the opposite problem and talk very little. She doesn't mention this fact however, and I feel that one of the minuses of the book is that it is so subjective.

We are led to understand from the book that AS sufferers have difficulty in creating and keeping friends, and on the whole in cooperating with others. They generally do not feel a need to create strong relationships with others. They have difficulty with social relations as a whole, in knowing the "right" things to do and say. Loud noises ans sharp lights are found disturbing, this leading to a lack of desire to frequent public places or attend parties or events attracting a large number of people.

What I found remarkable was that the author did manage to create and retain some few good friends, who have been of indispensable help to her. I feel that she has been extremely blessed in this respect, taking her "handicap" into consideration. She has also found an understanding, compatible partner and given birth to three children.

She had difficulty in orienting herself, for example, finding her way about the university she attended or maneuvering shopping malls. She likes rules and like me, especially when I was younger, has difficulty in understanding or accepting that when people say they will do certain things in a certain time frame they don't do them.

This book has been an eye-opener for me, in that it has helped me to recognize my own Asperger characteristics and to show me that I am not alone with all this. I now better understand the perfectionistic side to my nature and why I hate spelling mistakes and the like. I also better understand my need to read everything in a book, preferably skipping nothing, though I did manage to skip a few of the appendices in this book which I didn't feel were relevant to me.

Some qualities of "Aspies" are that they are honest, direct ("say it like it is") and loyal friends if their friends can accept the fact that they are different and "hold out". "Aspies" don't necessarily lack empathy, I certainly don't, and they/we can be extremely helpful by nature.

I would diagnose Detective Monk in the popular TV-series as being an extreme example of an "Aspie" (though his OCD symptoms are those most generally recognizable). He often has difficulty in being empathic or recognizing the needs of others, but in the end he helps them anyway, even at the risk of his life. Of course he is a fictional character, but must have been modelled on some real-life person.

To sum up, this book is extremely useful for those of us who ourselves have AS characteristics, and for those who need help to understand us. Though it must be pointed out that all the characteristics of the author are not shared by all other "Aspies". ( )
3 vota IonaS | Jul 27, 2010 |
Willey has Asperger’s syndrome, but never knew it until her daughter was diagnosed with it. She knew she was different from most people, and that some things were harder for her, but that was as far as it went. She was a high achiever in school, went through college and got her doctorate, married and had children. Asperger’s did not stop her, and now, knowing why she is different, her past makes sense to her. This is her story of what life is like with Asperger’s.

This is a very short book- shorter than any of the other books on living with Asperger’s that I’ve read- and because of this there is a lack of detail about how she felt growing up and how she dealt with the challenges of not being neurotypical. I almost had the feeling that she didn’t really feel that her Asperger’s was a big deal. She has a very supportive family, both by birth and by marriage, and a few good friends, and that helps a lot when dealing with any health challenge.

While her personal story is interesting, the heart of the book are the appendices, brief articles on how to make one’s life easier when one has Asperger’s. Included are good ways to explain to the people around you, how to decide which people to tell, specific suggestions for getting through college with the various problems that come along with Asperger’s, employment issues, keeping your home life in order, how to deal with sensory perception problems, and suggestions for the non-Asperger’s who care about someone on the spectrum. This section is a short but packed full of useful information like a jewel box of hints.

Recommended for anyone with Asperger’s and anyone with someone with it in their life. ( )
  lauriebrown54 | May 13, 2010 |
I really liked this book. Holliday share her experience being "different" with class and hopefulness. I saw myself in her pages and it gave me peace. ( )
  sammimag | Dec 14, 2006 |
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Compelling and witty, Liane Holliday Willey's account of growing to adulthood as an undiagnosed 'Aspie' has been read by thousands of people on and off the autism spectrum since it was first published in 1999. Bringing her story up to date, including her diagnosis as an adult, and reflecting on the changes in attitude over 15 years, this expanded edition will continue to entertain (and inform) all those who would like to know a little more about how it feels to spend your life 'pretending to be normal'.

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