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The Etiquette of Illness: What to Say When You Can't Find the Words

por Susan P. Halpern

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1133240,921 (4.09)6
What should I say when I hear that my friend has cancer? How can I help but not get in the way? How do I let my loved ones know what I need? The Etiquette of Illnessis a wise, encouraging, and essential guide to navigating the complex terrain of illness. This collection of anecdotes and insights will help those who feel awkward and unsure about responding to a friend, colleague, or relative who is suffering. The book is also for people who are ill and want to engage with their loved ones effectively. We read about a range of people who are dealing with chronic illness, doctor-patient communications, and end-of-life issues-and who are striving to find their way with awareness and compassion. Drawing on her years of counseling people with serious illness, as well as her own experiences with cancer, Susan Halpern presents an insightful book of the utmost relevance for patients, their caregivers, and their family and friends - a group which will, at some point, include all of us. Susan P. Halpern is a social worker and psychotherapist. She is the founder of the New York Cancer Help Program and a staff associate at the Commonweal Cancer Help Program. She lives with her husband, near their children and grandchildren in Berkeley, California. This is her first book. The Etiquette of Illness is a finalist for the Books for a Better Life award. The Etiquette of Illnessis an An Amazon "Editor's Pick" for Best Book of the Year (2004).… (más)
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About the author, quoting from the book's dust jacket, "Susan P. Halpern is a social worker and psychotherapist. She is the founder of the New York Cancer Help Program and a staff associate at the Commonweal Cancer Help Program." About the book, Cokie Roberts, reporter for NPR and ABC News, said of this work, "Bringing the rare dual perspective of both the caretaker and the person being taken care of, Susan Halpern tackles the last taboo--how to talk about illness, dying, and death. 'The Etiquette of Illness' combines the sensitivity of the therapist with the practicality of someone who's spent time in hospital rooms, either lying in the bed or sitting next to it. This book is filled with much-needed common sense."
  uufnn | Jul 14, 2017 |
Was a pretty good read. There are some things that will make you think and consider applying to some situations in your own life. ( )
  libraryclerk | Jan 9, 2015 |
This book was mentioned in The End of Your Life Book Club and I was highly intrigued. As friends and family get older and struggle more with health issues, I often am at a loss with what to say. Shall I ask how they are doing? Is it rude? Would they be offended if I don't ask?

I've seen my mom crumple many times when well-meaning acquaintances ask about my dad who will never be coming home from the nursing home.

I've been on the receiving end, too when I had breast cancer: everything from someone saying exactly the right thing after I was told my surgery was botched to other people telling me how many people they knew that had died horrible, painful deaths from what I had.

So what do you say?

I found this short book written by a lymphoma survivor and counselor to be quite interesting, and the advice sound. Of course there were chapters that didn't relate to my situation (talking to young children about illness, how a doctor should talk to a patient) but many others were spot on.

I've shared this one with my mom to see if it helps her out, too.
  streamsong | Aug 4, 2013 |
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My friend Paul Gorman called at nine-thirty on a Saturday morning and asked me earnestly, "Do you want me to ask you about the CAT scan you had this week?"
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What should I say when I hear that my friend has cancer? How can I help but not get in the way? How do I let my loved ones know what I need? The Etiquette of Illnessis a wise, encouraging, and essential guide to navigating the complex terrain of illness. This collection of anecdotes and insights will help those who feel awkward and unsure about responding to a friend, colleague, or relative who is suffering. The book is also for people who are ill and want to engage with their loved ones effectively. We read about a range of people who are dealing with chronic illness, doctor-patient communications, and end-of-life issues-and who are striving to find their way with awareness and compassion. Drawing on her years of counseling people with serious illness, as well as her own experiences with cancer, Susan Halpern presents an insightful book of the utmost relevance for patients, their caregivers, and their family and friends - a group which will, at some point, include all of us. Susan P. Halpern is a social worker and psychotherapist. She is the founder of the New York Cancer Help Program and a staff associate at the Commonweal Cancer Help Program. She lives with her husband, near their children and grandchildren in Berkeley, California. This is her first book. The Etiquette of Illness is a finalist for the Books for a Better Life award. The Etiquette of Illnessis an An Amazon "Editor's Pick" for Best Book of the Year (2004).

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