This year, Marian and I decided to prolong our annual nostalgia re-readathon beyond Halloween. We chose to re-read The Evil Twin storyline from SVH, also known as THE GREATEST MINISERIES OF ALL TIME (TGMOAT). This is the arc that bridged the gap between classic SVH canon (books #1-94) and the two-to-six book self-contained mini arcs hereafter, to the end of the original series.

I remember very vividly reading this miniseries when it was originally released in 1993, and just how crazy it was. This was no ordinary (albeit escapist) storyline in SVH. This was the jump-the-shark, bat-shit, bananapants crazy arc that left behind any idea of innocence or realism in the Sweet Valley universe. So much happens during TGMOAT, and it all starts here: Magna Edition #3, a double-length book that sets up all the storylines. Let's touch on the subplots first:

(1) School Rivalry between SVH and Big Mesa: Big Mesa has traditionally been SVH's biggest rival, and here things are cranking up to 11. The Big Mesa kids raid a SVH beach party at the beginning of the book; their school paper is trashing The Oracle on the regular; they have major competitions coming up in all sports (tennis, track, and basketball); the Big Mesa students cover the SVH student parking lot in shaving cream one random afternoon. Tensions are building, kids are getting excited, and each sports competition just ratchets everything up, climaxing at the big basketball game the night before the Jungle Prom.

Bruce Patman is at the center of the maelstrom, leading his buddies from the disbanded Club X (SVH #86) in various mischief, as well as the big bout at the end. Bruce is incredibly on edge for no discernable reason, but a brief run-in with his late girlfriend's brother at the marina apparently re-opens a gaping wound. We're supposed to believe that Bruce's emotions have been bottling up since her death back in the 40s, and is only now manifesting? Uh, okay. Tragically Dead Regina! (JUSTICE FOR REGINA!)

(2) Lila's ongoing trauma from attempted rape: This is a storyline that has been ongoing since #90, the infamous Don't Go Home With John. I think John Pfeiffer is the only character that has ever truly been ostracized from the canon. Is he ever seen again after #90? I don't think so. Anyway, Lila is still going to counseling at Project Youth and hiding her trauma from her friends and family. One day she runs into her counselor, Nathan, at the beach while she's there with Jessica. Jessica points out that Nathan is very cute, and suddenly Lila starts to notice him as a man in addition to being a preternaturally calm counselor who usually irritates her. Lila's spirits lift as she begins to look forward to her sessions with Nathan, but things escalate during the riot after the Jungle Prom, and Lila ends up accusing Nathan of trying to assault her. He did no such thing, but the police on the scene don't know that, so they put him in handcuffs and take him to the police station, with Lila going to make a formal complaint against him.

The main plot is, of course, the Jungle Prom/War Between the Twins. Liz and Jess are joking around at the beginning of the book about Tarzan, and Liz throws out the idea of having a jungle-themed dance at school, sponsored by the local Environmental Alert organization. Jess jumps on board the idea of a school dance, and the two of them hint at it during the aforementioned beach party. Liz also has a moment of regression to #63 The New Elizabeth when she decides that she's tired of alternatively worrying about her twin and being in Jessica's shadow, so she decides to start asserting herself, starting with planning the Jungle Prom.

She gets permission from Chrome Dome to hold the dance in two weeks(!), and the Environmental Alert organization is beyond on board with sponsoring the thing. They even come up with a lavish gift: an all-expenses paid trip to Brazil, and a year-long ambassadorship with Environmental Alert for the girl named Prom Queen. (Why only prom queen? Because EA quite conveniently just brought a high school aged boy on board from a different school, and are now looking to compliment it with a girl). Both Liz and Jess are excited about the prize, and both get stuck in to win that Prom Queen crown. Jessica is natural PQ material, but The New Elizabeth decides that she, too, is worthy of the crown and the prize.

Liz ends up organizing the whole prom by herself (with her loyal Prom Committee - Jessica is the co-chair, but only attends 1 meeting the entire two weeks). Jessica gets a fair amount of attention, too, especially as the rivalry between SVH and Big Mesa heats up. As head cheerleader, she's in the middle of it all - and so is Todd, Liz's boyfriend, the basketball superhero who wins the game on the last shot the night before the prom.

Todd is a shoo-in for King, and who better to accompany him as his Queen than his actual girlfriend? Jessica's jealousy starts to skyrocket, especially as momentum picks up for her sister. Jess starts ignoring her boyfriend (and even denigrating him, which was hard to read!), refuses to speak to her sister, and is making all attempts to win that crown and that trip to Brazil. She really gets nasty during the dance - after abandoning Sam at the door, she schmoozes with her schoolmates and accepts a cup of liquor from a Big Mesa attendee, which she pours into LIz's cup of island punch. She watches Liz take a couple of sips, but leaves before she sees Liz pour half of it into Sam's empty cup.

Soon Liz and Sam are making a spectacle of themselves on the dance floor, and everyone around them realizes that they're roaring drunk. (What was that liquor, anyway, 125 proof Everclear or something??) Todd is up on stage handling his Prom King duties, so he can't get near them, and Jessica is raging at Liz for hanging around her man. (Why Jess? You're the one who practically dumped him at the door!). Jessica also feels guilty, because she's the one who spiked the punch, and its obvious Sam and Liz have no idea why they're suddenly so giggly.

Liz' behavior means that of course Jessica is crowned Prom Queen. She doesn't feel the rush of glory and triumph, however, especially when she learns that Liz dropped out of the race at the last minute. That's when all hell breaks loose.

There's a heated debate about whether or not to allow Big Mesa kids to attend the Jungle Prom, thanks to the rivalry. Some kids date Big Mesa students (like Enid), so they'd be stuck in the middle. Jessica proposes to make the dance SVH-only, even though her own boyfriend attends a different school, but she's unanimously voted down by the entire student body. So, of course some Big Mesa students buy tickets and show up. They're allowed in, but then more of them start coming, looking for trouble. The boys at the dance decide to fight, sending a contingent to the football field to beat each other senseless (the SVH crowd is lead by Bruce). The girls are also getting catty, and students start to leave the gym in droves.

Liz and Sam are among them. They head to the Jeep and take off, with Jess and Todd trying to follow them. Jessica won't fess up to what she did, but she knows Liz shouldn't be driving and is desperate to stop her before something terrible happens.

Which, of course, it does: two minutes from the school, Todd and Jessica pull up to a crash site already swarming with emergency personnel. The Jeep has flipped over, and the police are talking about how no one could survive such a scene. As the book closes, Jessica is wading into the fray, wailing for her sister and her boyfriend. A night to remember, indeed.

I really enjoyed this re-read. I'd forgotten quite a few things (the trip to Brazil, the school rivalry), so that was fun to re-discover. I also enjoyed the throwbacks into classic canon. Besides those storylines already mentioned (#63, #86, #90), we get some ultra-rare cameos from former Wakefield boyfriends: Jeffrey French has a scene in the Oracle office, when Liz anonymously receives copies of the Big Mesa school paper and reads the trashy articles out loud; AJ Morgan plays a pivotal role during the big basketball game before the prom. I'd definitely forgotten those appearances!

Speaking of appearances: Sam and Jessica started dating in SVH #80, but I don't believe he ever graced a book cover. So the picture on the stepback of this book has always been my mental image of him. It was a bit jarring to read about his "blond curls" (which put me in mind of NSYNC-era Justin Timberlake, *shudder*). Sam was definitely one of the best Jessica boyfriends in the series (he's in my top two, along with her first serious boyfriend, AJ Morgan), and the way she ends up treating him here is absolutely atrocious. Her last thoughts of him (before and during the dance) are snide and angry. Of course she didn't know what was going to happen (though if she'd been reading along with us, she would've seen that incredibly obvious foreshadowing looming like a black cloud over everything), but still. She didn't deserve him by the end, and it really saddened me to see that.

As much as I love the Evil Twin arc, I hate that it starts with Sam's death. He deserved better, and even preteen me thirty years ago felt this way. So the tagline for TGMOAT? JUSTICE FOR SAM! ( )

Same old, same old. There's your general recap "here's what's happened lately, because yes, if you're reading book 100, you naturally haven't read everything before it!" Liz acts completely out of character throughout the entire book, from coming up with the jungle prom, to battling it out for prom queen. It's seriously sad, never before in the series has Lila actually been likable to me until this book, where her storyline was the only one I found even remotely interesting. It's also annoying how much the foreshadowing is repeated--nobody could miss this stuff. Yes, yes, we GET that they don't know they're running against each other. We get that they hate each other. Stop hammering it over our heads!
Maybe what ruined this for me was the fact that I read all the sequels to the miniseries before I actually read this one. No suspense for me!

Rating: 2/5 ( )