I’ve had several different cycles with Franciscan Richard, but I think I might be drifting away from him; I don’t want to be a prophet anymore…. I bought this book before that dawned on me, and I might as well finish it eventually; 3-4 Richard books would be nice, seeing as one of them wasn’t quite written by him, that he basically contributed to, so it would be nice to have it at three, and then that’s a nice basic number for somebody I’ve thought about a lot, even if in the future I’ll probably be more like Happy Joel than scholarly, perfect, justice man Richard, right. I don’t want to be a prophet anymore. I don’t mean that I ever wanted to say weird, cool things in church. (Although I do say weird, cool things here—in a way.) I’m not performance-based enough for that, and the church is too set on pleasing a world that’s materialistic, skeptical, and intellectual to take the focus away from chewing over the revelations of the past—and, of course, that strategy does have some merit, of course…. But either way, a prophet is the wise man set against the wild man, I guess, and the Just guy who warns (hopefully that means, helpfully informs of a problem that he loves people too much to passively let unfold?) the people that their bad religion and bad ways generally lead to suffering and misery among the people and especially among the vulnerable, a saying that can be a service…. Even if it can also carry the connotation of the naked man in the desert haranguing girlie into not reading Jane Austen…. And not just in classic biblical paintings, perhaps.

Of course, I’m not saying that Richard is a bad guy, or a wild man instead of a wise man…. But he does have that layer of perfectionism: this side does that, and the other side does this—and they’re both wrong! I go looking and looking for a nice guy, but I can’t find one! And, worse, soon we’ll have to eat cake! I should really put in a word with management: I don’t want to eat cake so often. I’ve gotta keep my tennis serve strong, dammit! Maybe we could have a meeting about this. I could get all the runners and the whole tennis club together, and we can all go before management and say: we pay good money to live here, and we say—no cake, dammit! Some rich lady said Let them eat cake, and she was persecuting God’s people, the children!

👦😸

I feel in a similar way about Younger Evangelical Brian, of course, or however I should call him, although I’m starting to feel so alienated from the church I’m considering buying that book for fence-sitters and doubters, you know. I mean, I am part of the church, but sometimes the church bullies you like a father—some tough guy preaching or Bible study-ing—or even bullies you like a mother or like a sibling—in the music, you know. You think it’s so different, but the message is: be happy and don’t complain, because you have no right to have any needs of your own or to have any self-worth or to have any gut or muscle at all, you know; you have no right to ask for anything you need, ever—nothing emotional, maybe we could give you a plate of beans or open up a bag of cookies for you—but the father-bully sucked up all the self-worth and the taking up space and having a voice, so now it’s the job of the littler-bullies to contract and make room for him, you know…. Even when the clergy is a woman and there is no obvious father-bully, the church-chicks are so bent on being clinically normal and narrow-minded and not taking up space or achieving or having legitimate emotional needs or letting others around them have them, that even in that situation it can be explicable that the demographic situation is mostly retirees, conventional parents, more retirees, and a few younger dependents, you know; it’s like…. You don’t go to church to get something done, you go there to be normal, although if you wanted permission to, I don’t know, be cheerful and comfortable and productive, then that’s not going to fly either, because there are liberal or conservative uptight men somewhere off in the wings worried about the invisible Creator and the suffering children of the poor and the inexplicable and unpardonable irreconcilable perverseness of sex and money, basically…. Oh, and would you please get married and get a good job? Try not to enjoy it, though…. It’s a sin. —Who’s saying it’s a sin, goosecap? They’re saying sex and money is a sin, or you’re saying that the church is a sin? —Yes.

…. You know, it’s like—don’t get me wrong, a lot of harm comes into the world through prostitution, and basically it’s the result of a void of happy stable sexual relationships—but there’s this silent obsession with prostitution, you know: I remember once I was talking to my priest about the church study group and we were talking about some sort of video aid to a mini talk we could give as members of the study group, you know mostly to retired women, and out of the blue she just had to tell me that of course it shouldn’t be a //pornographic// video, you know. And it’s like…. 😵‍💫 That’s the impression you get of me? That I go to church groups of retired people mostly with maybe one girl roughly my age who goes with her uptight liberal dad and has kinda an ice pick sticking out of her frozen body like she’s Trotsky or something, and it’s like, you think I’m gonna…. In public? With church people? But we sacrifice everything to that, to that sin, almost, that idol. The idol of church-marriage, I guess. (Sexless church marriage.) And it’s like God created a material world with sex and money, but both of those things are tainted and sinful to us: in the white church we don’t even like good //music//, you know…. I mean, Bach has his charms, but there’s no variation, in a certain sense, in church music. Even Bono got rebuked by his people. “Bono, I’m not saying //you are going to hell//, or, //please go to hell, if that’s what it takes to leave me alone//, no no, I’m just saying…. Satan wants you in hell, and feeling good, is kinda like hell, in a way…. Well, it’s complicated…. You’re a musician; you wouldn’t understand….”

…. It’s like the ethic of disgust, you know. It’s in Leviticus, and it’s in Paul, and it’s how Christians are supposed to react to anything with a whiff of prostitution (which I guess would include Sauvage by Dior: a fragrance for men), and it can keep you out of sin, sometimes, but, I don’t remember Jesus ever looking at somebody and saying, Eew!—and stepping on them like they were an insect, you know. He could get angry, but I don’t remember disgust. If anything it was anger at improper greatness, you know. And socialists and censors/puritans: disgust, stepping on insects, and improper greatness—oh my! 😮

…. Meditation or whatever you want to call it is great; knowledge isn’t everything. (Richard frustrates that person, even though sometimes it’s himself.) But he agrees with the classic thing where you start with philosophy, even apparently epistemology, knowledge-theory philosophy: let’s start with the nature of knowledge itself…. (So that the non-knowledge person won’t be comfy either.) Richie’s just gotta blitz in both directions simultaneously, like he’s trying to get into one of those white boy’s white boy magazines…. 🥱

….

BTS: (Korean Korean) Get me outta my blues, now I’m feeling brand new (more Korean)
Happy Joel: (raises hand) Get me outta my blues, now I’m feeling brand new: hey I understood that part! A-men!
Franciscan Richard: (freezes like, Why is there music? I was not informed of this by the promoter!)
BTS: (jammin’)
Happy Joel: (jammin’) (scat singing the Korean and getting some of the English wrong, but having lots of fun)
Franciscan Richard: (What would Buddha say to break up this party? Think, Richard! Think!)

…. I mean, Richard’s a good writer, in his way. I say all these things because I should protest certain churchy things, even though I find that difficult and against-the-grain, for myself, really, I mean—despite being a pretty strange and non-normie person. (Although in the present company, we shouldn’t forget that people who seem like normies can be quite extra-Norman-ary, you know! Most people aren’t liberals, revolutionaries, or stuck in their head, you know; most people are relatively conservative. The only reason that the conservatives don’t crush the liberals with one hand tied behind their back is that the conservatives divide along race and gender lines, and also, nobody trusts Nixon. Not even Kissinger…. But sometimes even relatively moderate Lives-in-Head tribesmen seriously underestimate the goodness of ordinary body-people, you know.) Anyway, I had to protest the church a little bit, even the “good” church, the polite progressive one; I could lose my mind trying to work out the greedy-pig-that-doesn’t-want-the-neighbor-to-have-money-because-money-is-unfair conservative church tribe person, you know. Richard is a good guy, and he apparently doesn’t deserve the situation he finds himself in—the social setting, the cultural backstory he has to make sense of. In his way, he’s honest—he just wants relationship over shame, which makes sense, since relationship is good, and shame, is not.

…. It’s funny how Richard tries to perfectly balance personal & impersonal without ever telling a story about himself or someone else or being non-impersonal at all; it’s also funny how the Stephen Covey book becomes “generic modernism” even though it basically presents itself as anti-modern, and is indeed quite stilted and weird and impersonal “be afraid to try something new, something from after 1918”, you know.

But a lot of the things Richard says are right. I don’t know how well he feels it inside, but he does say good things to say, you know.

…. I don’t think that Richard and his friends are too radical, as I often sometimes thought, or at least felt conflicted about, or at least, divided—regretful, perhaps. Though I am left with a certain amount of exhaustion for the whole thing. Customary customs and becoming something other than a “scarlet (ie stereotypical) sinner” leave one with many bad habits. I suppose one is supposed to become a little tired of certain habits eventually…. One becomes the “racehorse” mentioned in one of Sarah Young’s books—always running…. Now, I am tired. I will finish this book, and then I will leave off Richard for a long time. I will read him again, I think, eventually—but not for a long time.

…. I always think of God as being Duckie.

…. Again, I’ll have to revisit something like this when I am more secure in understanding it, which will really have more to do with living than reading books, especially religious books.

…. What he says is very good as far as it goes, but I do wonder if maybe Richard the Franciscan is a little too idealistic; cynicism doesn’t help, but as wonderful as it is to learn the professor’s secret, and explore the meaning of power and the plight of the poor…. Well, shouldn’t you figure out how to get on with getting out of poverty, and teach others to do the same? How are you going to live?

…. Serena: (crying) Wait—does Nate know that the audience knows that Chuck told Blair?
Jack Antonoff: (mentoring) That’s good; but work in a few more characters—maybe Dan’s sister and your brother Might or Might Not—
Richard Roar: Silence! I’m trying to build a new world, and—and—the Light of Truth! The Christ-Light! It will bring us to a better world!
Blair: (bitchy) I’m living in a better world.
Richard Roar: Out! Out! All of you—out!
(they file out)
Richard Roar: Now, as I was telling you, the female often has an advantage in the hidden realms of light, and because of her greater suffering she sees things that—
(bang on door, then)
Serena: (crying) I’m really sorry for what I did, but—
Richard Roar: You hurt my friend Buddha! Out! OUT!!
Serena: (crying) I believe in forgiveness.
Richard Roar: Yeah yeah tell it to the judge. (slams door) There’s no forgiveness for being a rich girl. Somebody has to pay. Anyway, I was in Stockholm the other day, promoting my book, “The Professor’s Secret”, when a funny thing happened….

…. Blair: (opens door dramatically) Serena, the show must go on: so I don’t care if they all hate me, as long as they love you!
Serena: (nods) You know, Blair, I appreciate the sentiment, but you’re really kinda a bitch.
Richard Roar: (gently) Now, girls, girls: love can be hard sometimes, but don’t you think you should kiss and make up?
Blair: You don’t know what happened, old man!
Serena: Yeah; you should go.
Richard Roar: Wait, I know a lover’s spat when I see one; I’m actually quite liberal about sexuality, you know; I have nothing against the—
Serena: I had sex with her boyfriend. We were best friends.
Richard Roar: Then you should be killed!
Blair: Yes! Score one for the old man!
Richard Roar: On second thought…. (pensive, then) Yes, I think I’ll have to kill you. Step aside, Blair; let me take out my Japanese Cartoon Sci-fi Hammer….
Serena: My mom would give you money to let me live….
Richard Roar: But I really hate the Upper East Side, you know; hell, I’ll have to kill Blair, too; after all, she’s judgy.
Blair: (offended) I am NOT! Judgy. (impotent rage)

…. It’s fun to make fun of Richie. 😸

He’s okay though. I remember once Gangaji was like, “ego comes with you when you go on a spiritual journey” and I was like 😵‍💫 (—I’ve been dazed and confused for so long, it’s not true.) I was like, But //that’s// not how it’s supposed to be…. 😹

It’s fine.

…. And remember, Richie: it’s your job to bully people into showing up regardless of how we treat people once they step through those doors, and success has nothing to do with what happens when they leave. Especially not what happens to the little people, you know. We just need a little more room!

….
—(Gunsche) Mein Fuhrer, I am here to inform you that the Word of God is true.
—Oh, so I can take it on your authority! Now I know things I can’t see are true! I guess you’re the reason that God is true. Congratulations! I really like you Gunsche, so I’m choosing You over science, poetry, and my own eyes and experience. Is that good enough for you, Gunsche? Do you feel loved now, man? FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN! FEGELEIN!

God I love YouTube. And my own, Inner YouTube, you know.

…. It’s all very well to poo-poo the market, rewards, and comfort, and I’m sure there’s some other face of the feminine apart from ours, but he doesn’t really notice or care what the face of the feminine is, here and now; he doesn’t even notice what he’s doing. At least he’s sorta consistent, you know. Plenty of guys support the market—it’s the real man thing to do—but by the little god, if only we could put a stop to women buying things, you know! If only we could be rich without being surrounded by beauty! THAT would heaven! —(laughs) No dear; heaven is Serena and Blair all made-up and best friends for the rest of Eternity, on the Upper East Side…. —Euh. Buying! Buying //pretty things//, no less. If only we could just sit around contemplating beams of light…. You know, I think that’s the future. We’ll get the kids in here! Hey! You kids are disillusioned with capitalism, right! —(Chuck) Yeah! (Nate) Yeah, okay! (to Chuck) But wait, what does that mean? We won’t have to sit around reading books all day, will we? That would really cut into my beauty rest….

You tell me who’s more exclusionary, more difficult to understand, even to get along with. Nate Archibald’s sports podcast, or, The Professor’s Secret, you know…. (Blair’s girls) What’s the secret? Who knows the secret? What’s the secret even about? Is it about Serena? Why is Serena here?

…. Re: Babette’s Feast—oh, that’s rich….

—I suppose that we give foreigners the benefit of the doubt because we do not see them as fully human, Theodore van der Woodsen. At least, they are not like us and our real enemies, so they’re not a threat.
—I agree, Socrates.

…. Isn’t it funny how Wikipedia can subtly exclude, with its subtle bias it pretends isn’t there—and occasionally it’ll just revel in it, right, like the article on Deepak Chopra says: many good people say that DC is an irrational chimpanzee; isn’t that swell? God, I should leave work early and go home and get ready to rape my wife; I’m getting hard—but nobody ever criticizes Wikipedia for exclusionary bias or callousness or unreasonable rationality, you know: people criticize it for including too much! Wikipedia shouldn’t intellectualize Everything; it should ONLY intellectualize chemistry and Shakespeare’s tragedies, you know. Up is down and less bad is worse, you know. It’s not reality or reasonableness; it’s human history. It’s a catalog of crime….

And that’s how we talk about Richie, too.

…. It’s not that we should reject or fear the cross, as I guess people usually do, the lecturing notwithstanding. (Then again, maybe they’re rejecting and fearing the lecturing.) But maybe it should have been “//resurrection// tests everything”, you know…. I’m glad I didn’t delete/wholesale write off ALL my religion books…. Just the ones I didn’t like (and I deleted those conflicted reviews, lol!), and most of the very upper crust of crusty snobbiness (and so deleted the half-conflicted excuse-y reviews). You shouldn’t reject whole categories wholesale. At the same time, we can be too suspicious or nervous or whatever about not editing or pruning our personal and/or collective past, right. Maybe Mohammed did it better; he wasn’t afraid to remix the Bible, instead of keeping the old stuff word for word and removing //only the interpretative layer that made it make sense//! Lol!

I don’t know. I wouldn’t say that ALL of my religion reading was time ill spent. Most of it was good—good truth, if misunderstood. Some of it though, was kinda a waste, if usually, or generally, to some extent, a waste ‘necessary’ because of my personal and collective past, right. But some of it I’d like to forget…. I remember when I thought that “liturgy” was the future, and I read that book by the girl priest about picking up socks and cleaning your room, basically. If we let girls write religion books the way we let them go to church, we’d have a much better idea of where we’re at. We let these book fools write books about “grace” and “the cross” and all these heady ideas, right, and once you’re done reading, it never seems to amount to much….

…. “And that’s why, blah blah blah! Bam! If that isn’t dramatic, boy. If that isn’t—dramatic!”

(Child Hermes): (sleeping)
(his puppy): (sleeping)
~and it’s like, synchronized, you know; like in a cartoon 😸😴

…. The style does contradict the message, you know. It’s like if I gave the State of the Union wearing shorts and a hat that says Hawaii on it—only it’s the opposite of that, right. But the wise white men don’t have to play by the same rules as the rest of us. We go to them, we say sir. They come to say hi on our day off, and we’ve got our Hawaii hat on and they’re dressed for a wedding, and, we still say sir. And later, the press tosses flak at them, like, you’re not upholding the class system, right. You’re hanging out with dumm-dumm.

…. And now, (obviously), I do not know whether I will ever read Richard again.

Rohr is my favorite. I have read so much but this is a great reminder: touch my groundedness in God and the entire life will change. ( )

This is a deep dive into what may be the more mysterious, less obvious meanings and themes in Scripture. You may not agree with all of it, which is okay, but if you are open to considering some of the perspectives and teachings, this may open the door for a richer, more meaningful relationship with Scripture, and all God is communicating to us through it.