A story about a teenager struggling with identity and how she/them/they fit in. Struggling with an abusive past. Bounced around from foster home to home. Adopted at around age twelve. Harsh and sad beginnings are compounded when taking into consideration a lost soul trying to understand one’s own gender identity and sexual orientation, adding an entirely different complication for this not so average foster child. Such is the life here, that would be difficult under the best of circumstances. This book starts off strong, finishes originally, but within its own murky forest veers away from character testing tension and briefly loses its narrative trail, before reaching resolution. Told from the first person point of view, for a few pages in the middle, it shifts to the best friend narrating. A few pages later, and the action comes back to the original narrator. The effect is jarring, calling into question the identity of the storyteller itself, but it also felt awkward and possibly an incompletely expressed idea. Attention–some plot details ahead are discussed in general terms, but may spoil your potential surprise!
The story does take you on a journey into the angst ridden maelstrom of the modern identity crisis of our youthful main character. They/them have been bullied and pushed to their breaking point and therefore react in turbulent kind, with violence. An act regretted and causing great shame, bringing them to the point of attempting suicide via an overdose. They are briefly detained by police but are quickly released to a behavioral health facility. At first the narrator is not willing to participate in any sort of therapy or interventional treatment. After a brief time, and after bonding with a roommate, the character begins to open up. This is where personal experience has led me to expect that life will tend to get harder before it gets better. In this book, not so much. Everything, for everybody closely involved with and including the prime narrator, works out. The tension evaporates effortlessly and the story's momentum fizzles leaving one slightly unsatisfied, it’s a little hard to believe. Or, perhaps this reaction to a non traditional happy ending was intended?
Giving even more emphasis to the narrator’s struggle might establish a stronger reaction, but I sense there is a danger to the material that the author wished to give just respect. Which leads to a final point regarding the trigger warning at the beginning of the story. Was this the publisher's choice or something the author decided upon? Shouldn’t good literature be challenging, if not triggering? Being challenged to face your fears is a good thing! If you can stay rational and use the motivation, then maybe it’s good to get mad as hell at the wrongs done to others! Let that be the fuel to be the change necessary to right those wrongs! I regard seeing a trigger warning and changing my mind about reading a book as highly improbable. The subject might make me feel uncomfortable, mad, sad, or possibly identify with the character to the point of despair. No good book is without triggers. The bumpy ride is alluring. Though bumpy, there is something magical and mysterious to the ride! ( )