Miranda:I don't want to be friends with someone who jogs. Go and have a burger!

Miranda: I'm going to be the kind of woman who- you know, the kind of woman that just leaps out of bed and just does *that* and their hair looks perfect? They then grab a homemade muffin out of their Cath Kidston polka dot biscuit tin and head to work wearing trainers at the bottom of a skirt suit, to show off they've power walked in. They have pot plants that don't die on them. Their fruit bowl isn't full of three week old rotting pears, because they actually eat the fruit! They have day bags, evening bags, and a clutch. You know? They just grab a wheatgerm smoothie inbetween work, because that's enough to keep them going, even though at lunchtime they jogged, and they enjoyed it! Because they don't have flesh that moves independently to their main frame. And finally, they have easy access to pens to finish a crossword at a barwhere the man they decided to take as a lover the night before says "Hey, last night was great!". You know, I'll be that kind of woman.

Miranda: I have a very exciting and fulfilling home life.

Gary: What's the worst that could happen?
Miranda: Humiliation, embarrassment, fire, explosions, collisions, tears, nudity and death.

Miranda: A savoury muffin? Life is full of enough disappointments, Gary.