One of my top 50 books of all time. I recommend it if you want to gain more insight into child trauma and why parents do what they do to themselves and their children. It’s not all about the bad, either! There is hope for everyone suffering from mental health issues as long as we can learn the whys. ( )

Just read it. ( )

This fascinating book produced many “lightbulb moments” for me. Some reviewers have stated that “What Happened to You” contained very few new ideas. I’ve read quite a few self-help books over the decades. Perry and Winfrey covered a lot of territory I had yet to explore. What’s more, they explained complex issues involving brain science in an understandable and interesting way, vividly demonstrating how stress and trauma change us. Oprah boldly shares her personal struggles. I never realized that the first couple months of our lives have a disproportionate impact on our emotional well-being for the rest of our lives. Infants with high stress or trauma in their first two months typically will experience more problems than others who had very little stress in their infancy but endured years of stress later in childhood. I do wish the book had spent a bit more time examining the impacts of stress and trauma on teens and even adults. But I highly recommend this book for anyone who is interested in PTSD, brain science or psychology. ( )

the audiobook version is EVERYTHING! it felt like listening to a podcast. Oprah and Dr. Perry were basically just having a long conversation that was easy to follow and understand. i loved how Dr. Perry presented his real case studies alongside the science of trauma and healing. i would listen to a podcast with Oprah and Dr. Perry.. but i guess that was the Oprah show... not everything needs to be a podcast...... anyways i just really loved the conversational style of this audiobook *chef's kiss* this book was eye-opening. i never would have thought to ask "what happened to you/ me rather than what's wrong with you/me". i learned lots about feelings, PTSD, vibration of love, etc. very well written, well researched, Dr. Perry knows. his. stuff.! ( )

9 stars: Super, couldn't put it down

From the back cover: Have you ever wondered "Why did I do that?" or "Why can't I just control my behavior?" Others may judge our reactions and think, "What's wrong with that person?" When questioning our emotions, it's easy to place the blame on ourselves; holding ourselves and those around us to an impossible standard. It's time we started asking a different question.

Through deeply personal conversations, Oprah Winfrey and renowned brain and trauma expert Dr. Bruce Perry offer a groundbreaking and profound shift from asking “What’s wrong with you?” to “What happened to you?”

Here, Winfrey shares stories from her own past, understanding through experience the vulnerability that comes from facing trauma and adversity at a young age. In conversation throughout the audiobook, she and Dr. Perry focus on understanding people, behavior, and ourselves. It’s a subtle but profound shift in our approach to trauma, and it’s one that allows us to understand our pasts in order to clear a path to our future - opening the door to resilience and healing in a proven, powerful way.

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Written in conversational format, Oprah talks to Dr. Perry, a world expert on childhood trauma, about how to overcome the effects of trauma. They challenge us to shift our focus from "What's wrong with you?" or "Why are you Behaving This way?" to "What happened to you?" It allows us to understand our past so that we may build a resilient and healing future.

Quotes:

The pillars of traditional healing were 1) connection to the clan and the natural world, 2) regulating rhythm through dance, drumming, and song, 3) a set of beliefs, values, and stories that brought meaning to even senseless random trauma, and 4) on occasion, natural hallucinogens or other plant derived substances used to facilitate healing with the guidance of a healer or an elder. It is not surprising that today's best practices in trauma treatment are basically versions of these 4 things...but the medical model overfocuses on psychopharmacology and cognitive behavioral therapy. It greatly undervalues the power of connectedness and rhythm.

Most people who experience adversity and trauma do not have access to therapy. BUt what we are learning is that having access to a number of invested, caring people is actually better than having access to a number of invested, caring people is actually a better predictor or good outcomes following trauma than having access to a therapist... This isn't to suggest that therapy isn't helpful, but therapy without "connectedness" is not very often effective. ( )