California high school junior Kyle is the youngest of three siblings, with older sister Taylor off at college and oldest sister Megan living on her own and working two jobs, semi-estranged from their parents. But driving to the extended family's farm for Thanksgiving with his girlfriend Nadia, Kyle feels like the Baker family is pretty good, and even dreams about a future with Nadia. However, Kyle is knocked off his secure axis when his dad reveals that his mom is having an affair, but tells him not to tell anyone else - not his sisters, not Nadia, no one else in the family. This news, and his inability to talk about it with anyone, sends Kyle into a downward spiral: he ghosts Nadia and skips baseball practices until he loses his spot on the team. Then, his grandparents decide to sell the family farm, and the future Kyle dreamed of is gone. Eventually, he has to break the "vault," and he tells his asexual/aromantic cousin Emily; then, bound by this secret, he comes to rely on her emotionally. Kyle eventually tells his sister Megan as well, and she is able to provide another perspective on their family and their parents' marriage dynamic. Ultimately, Kyle becomes a bit more secure in his sense of self, and accepting of the unwanted changes that have been thrust upon him.

Kyle is rendered with remarkable interiority. He relies heavily on others, especially Emily, emotionally, then worries that he's being too needy and selfish. He's romantic, but doesn't have the skills to sustain a relationship when he's asked (unfairly) to keep a damaging secret.

See also: Picture Us in the Light by Kelly Loy Gilbert, Not So Pure and Simple by Lamar Giles

Caught three typos.

Quotes

It was hard sometimes to accept that she'd existed before he met her. (38)

...and it all felt like a lost treasure you couldn't spend. (39)

"Okay, Dad, if you had to give me only ONE piece of relationship advice ever, what would it be?"
"People change."
"That's it? That's the advice?"
"Well, let each other change, I guess is a better way of saying it." (47)

It seemed obvious, that people existed outside of how you needed them to. But it didn't feel obvious. (135)

But when it came to stuff like...those moments you really really needed to be understood but were also afraid of it, or you wanted to say what you actually meant without getting laughed at, or you felt like if you didn't grab on to someone, you might fall off the planet and go spinning into space all alone....that kind of hard stuff - well, they sucked at it. (152)

"Complicated" was a cop-out word Kyle noticed adults using whenever they couldn't rationally explain their dumb opinions or actions. (153)

"They run a whole company based on the concept that what you have isn't good enough." (Megan to Kyle, 195)

"And I asked why, why is it normal to have so much more than we need?" (Megan to Kyle, 197)

"Contrary to how we were brought up, talking about things and allowed yourself to be upset actually does help." (Megan to Kyle, 198)

Where had it all gone? When a family falls apart, where does the old family go? (225)

Maybe they couldn't keep anyone from coming along and tearing down what they'd built. Maybe it was wrong to try to preserve something that had served its purpose. But it still seemed worth caring about. (289)

...you could want and intend to be a certain kind of person but also keep getting deeper and deeper into the hole you had dug for yourself. It was hard to climb out....
But whose job, exactly, was it to get her out? (311)

"It's hard to let go of the idea of something. Especially when the idea is important to you. But if you don't let go of the idea, you can't actually live in reality...
Let go. Let go of what you thought it should be. And see what it is." (Emily to Kyle, 321) ( )