I enjoyed this far more than After Care, though I have a couple of quibbles re: some hurtful inaccuracies and BDSM the biggest one I'm going to clarify here, for anyone who thinks this is realistic BDSM depiction due to it being written in a realistic style. Remember, this is fiction, and the BDSM is fiction, and in some cases, some of the assumptions being put across are harmful if you don't remember this is all make-believe:

There's a section where Syed assures himself that Dashiell certainly isn't a masochist because he hops around on one foot in pain after stubbing his foot. This is bullshit folks. A person's pain tolerance outside of a scene 100% doesn't indicate ANYTHING about whether someone is a masochist in BDSM. There are masochists with low pain tolerances, masochists with high pain tolerance in the every day who have low pain tolerances in scenes, masochists who faint when they see needles, masochists who hate 95% of pain except a very specific 5% they like when consenting to it in a scene.

In just about any BDSM 101 class (which I wish Chris had taken the time to attend, or maybe remember this part), this is one of the first thing you'll be taught about masochists: that they like pain on their terms, and hate it just as much as anyone else (and sometimes moreso) the rest of the time whether inside of or outside of scenes, because you know, they're *human beings.*

It's moments like this that indicate that Chris has done her research, but doesn't actually really understand the psychology behind masochism, or maybe doesn't know many masochists, or hasn't actually experienced much of the scene, or even just applied any logical thought to this process. But a high pain tolerance in every day life does not have any correlation, connection or indication of what kind of masochist (or not) you're dealing with. Conversely, is she implying that people with high pain tolerances because they wouldn't jump around in pain from stubbing their toe mean they *must* be masochists? It makes no sense, and I hope it's not something anyone walks away thinking about masochists and masochism. It's so far off reality it was like being doused in cold water; especially since this book does make genuine attempts to be fairly accurate regarding kink the rest of the time. It made Syed seem like a 17 year old who only understands BDSM from fanfiction; something I expect from fanfiction, but not from a mature character with experience who was active in the public scene and clearly has played with multiple subs.

There are some grammar mistakes all through this, and a common fanfiction error I see in fic all the time, I saw here in published fic for the first time! 'Drug' is used as the past tense of drag, instead of the grammatically correct 'dragged.'

Okay, general issues aside, I liked this book much more. I thought Dashiell and Syed were more appealing and relatable as characters, and didn't feel as cold, distant and aloof as Aayan and Garrett did (and their relationship did at times because of it). Dashiell's anguish regarding how Kirk treated him and the scars that left behind felt real, and jumped off the page, and Syed's empathy felt like something he also did to heal himself. His transition into a 'softer' kind of domination made sense given what he's experienced, and what Dashiell needs, since it's obvious that Syed can still get his needs met through Dashiell's obedience and how receptive he is to control. In that sense, the D/s relationship felt more mature, and also more fleshed out, than Aayan and Garrett's did for me in book 1.

I found the themes around forgiveness and also the attitude to Dashiell's job mature and well-developed. I know some people still aren't going to like that aspect of things, but honestly I thought that was handled really well, and with a fair amount of non-didactic aplomb. I'm really looking forward to Casey's book, in that regard. ( )