Lilli is an educated young Quaker woman who bears a child out-of-wedlock in Pennsylvania in 1883. This book shows the obstacles faced in those days by any woman without a husband. Lilli is an ex-teacher and she keeps journals of her travails. These diaries serve as the device to relate her story. As her situation deteriorates, her plight eventually turns into one of survival.

This story is centered around a mother’s love for her child. It effectively portrays the amount of work involved in caring for an infant. Benton vividly articulates the widespread unsanitary conditions, negligence, corruption, social stigma, biased laws, and lack of options of the time period, where women were ostracized for their status as unwed mothers. Overall, I liked this book, but at times the author’s hand is too visible, and it is burdened by repetition and extraneous details.

In the Author’s Note, Benton provides the reason she wrote this book, which may help in deciding whether or not to read it: “My larger aim was to create belief in lives that could have been lived and to bring the meaning of their struggles into the light of our day. I wanted to give voice to a deserted woman in 1883 who asserts the value of her bond with her infant – and to show obstacles of prejudice and inequality littered their way…I wanted to tell a story in which women’s strength was crucial to the world’s surviving and thriving – as it truly is and always has been.” ( )

This novel is set in the late 19th century in Philadelphia. Lilli de Jong lives with her mother, father, brother and her father's apprentice in a modest home where Quaker values prevail. When her beloved mother dies suddenly, the family is upended. Within a few months, the father marries his surly, conniving cousin, her brother and the apprentice leave to work in the Pittsburgh steel mills, the Quakers shun the family and Lilli finds herself pregnant with nowhere to turn. Thus begins Lili's journey, and the challenges she encounters to keep her child safe rival those of she compares with the biblical Job.

There are some interesting glimpses into life in the Victorian age from the downtrodden to those with means and material possessions. Janet Benton has done remarkable research into the culture of the time for unwed mothers, children and the downtrodden, while giving an overview of Philadelphia. Her notes at the end of the book are of particular interest. ( )

Lllli de Jong succumbs to her bethrothed's advances just once and gets pregnant. Her step mother throws her out of the house. It is the 1880s. She is a Quaker. There is shame in this.

She goes to a hospital for unwed mothers with the idea of giving her baby up for adoption. But when Charlotte is born, the mother-daughter bond is too strong. She can't do it. Opportunities for unwed mothers are scarce, especially if they want to bring their babies with them.

Lilly gets a job as a wet nurse for an affluent family but must board her daughter with someone. Unfortunately, there is no oversight as to who can accept children and Lilly's worst fears are borne out. Charlotte's care giver gives little care.

Lilli de Jong is a well written, sometimes heart rending account of what it was like in the 1880s to be an unwed mother. At times like the Book of Job, bad things just keep on happening but Lilli is a strong soul and we have the feeling she can overcome whatever is thrown her way.

I highly recommend the book. In an Author visit, Janet Benton proved to be a charming author and read a passage from the book wonderfully. ( )

This review can also be found on my blog.

Lilli de Jong is the story of a young quaker girl who finds herself pregnant in a society where an unwed mother is a scourge and disgrace. I enjoyed the book at the start; not knowing much about quakers, I was intrigued to hear more about Lilli’s life. I also enjoyed the journal format, with Lilli speaking directly to the reader as if we were her diary. Which, in the narrative, we are.

How is it that shame affixes itself to the violated, and not to the violator?

Lilli is forced to seek shelter in a home for single pregnant women, and is lucky enough to be boarded and fed as she waits to birth her child. While the norm is to adopt one’s baby out and to continue life as though the pregnancy had never happened, Lilli stands her ground and decides that she wants to keep her baby. As expected, this leads to many difficulties.

So little is permissible for a woman—yet on her back every human climbs to adulthood.

I found it intriguing for quite a while, but over time the hurdles Lilli faced became tiresome. I’m sure the events were realistic to an extent, but it was difficult to suspend my belief when the worst seemed to happen at all times. As soon as things began turning around for Lilli, something even worse would happen. At first this was surprising and kept me on my toes, but I felt the author took it just too far. I was also quite frustrated at how Lilli behaved some of the time, she seemed to change her mind on a whim and had no idea how to make decisions that would actually benefit her. It’s likely because she was quite young, but still, it became irritating to read through. I will say that I had no issue with the writing itself. Benton knows how to create an atmosphere that will draw the reader in, and how to create interesting side characters to support her lead.

Did she go to the grave with painful secrets? Must every woman? Will I?

It was clear that Benton wanted to shed some light on the hardships women faced during this time period. As she mentions in the afterword, these girls’ stories went untold -- I’m actually excited to read some of the books she used for her research. She also clearly wanted to show the deep bond a mother feels toward their child. In that respect, this may be more impactful to readers who enjoy reading about motherhood. Parts of it may be difficult if you do have a child -- without spoilers, I’ll just say she and her daughter are put into some dangerous situations -- but I think that would make it easier to relate to.

This knowledge is not a curse. Separation from the garden’s innocence is not a sin. It is a beginning.

Overall, while the book was well-written, I struggled with the seemingly endless tragedies the title character faced and got less out of this than I was hoping to. ( )

The ending rather spoiled what is otherwise a strong story. ( )