As the story opens, Sammie, a senior in high school, has begun penning a journal for the benefit of her future self, though her dreams of winning at Nationals for debate and heading to college in New York are not as rosy and hopeful as they were a just few short months ago. She has been diagnosed with Niemann-Pick, a progressive disease which will eventually affect not only her mobility but her mental processes, including memory.

I was wowed by this book, which came to my attention for having won the Minnesota Book Award. As a reader I assumed at first that NPC was invented for the story, but later discovered it is tragically real. There is lots of food for thought, and it's impossible not to imagine what would it be like to be in Sammie’s shoes/circumstances, knowing you are becoming less and less yourself each day. The characters' behaviors during conflict surpassed my expectations — i.e., they spoke honestly with each other and nobody was villainous. I was rooting for everyone! The narrative is funny, heartwarming without crossing into saccharine, wholesome and inevitably, necessarily sad. Highly recommended. ( )

2.5 Stars ( )

Two stars, but barely. I cried the first time I read this. I was on a huge YA tearjerker kick, and this was an unexpected treat for me amongst the deluge of lackluster books, at the time. I was curious to read it now, and glad I found it. Large passages, especially in the beginning, are written in second person. It is a choice I usually cannot stand, but here it was used for a creative and understandable reason: the protagonist has a rare disease, of which severe memory loss is a symptom. She's writing a little Word document to herself so she can remember who she is. Her memory and condition deteriorate somewhat unevenly over the course of the book, and many episodes are glossed over. I get that it's because the book is written as a diary, but still. All the symptoms that were info-dumped on the reader in the beginning in the first few pages, are smoothly folded into the story. The writing is vivid, and I found the descriptions interesting. Having her drool and shriek over Stuart until he said they were in a relationship was sooo annoying.

This book has pointless, mean and annoying siblings, a pointless love triangle that's not set up well, and a debate-team partnership that's clearly supposed to turn into a strong friendship but doesn't at all. The queer rep via Maddie is a collection of harmful stereotypes and it's loathsome. I slowly realized everyone around Sammie sucked, and her denial of her disease and own rampant ego quickly wore thin. Her ableism, especially towards people who have seizures, was awful. Sammie's mom works as a medical receptionist and wears scrubs constantly. What? Receptionists usually wear dress shirts, you weirdo. It's because she wants to get into nursing school. So--she's cosplaying. How odd that her workplace tolerates it. Maddie, a girl Sammie initially cannot stand, is a talented, active theater kid. But she's also first on the debate team. Both IRL are so time-consuming that realistically, she'd only have time for one activity, but the author made her Best At All Things. Everyone wants her, but she wants the quiet one and oh my blood pressure needs to go back down. STOP PORTRAYING QUEERS AS INHERENTLY PROMISCUOUS, STRAIGHT PEOPLE. STOP PAIRING EXTREME OPPOSITES TOGETHER. IT WILL NOT KILL YOU TO HAVE BOTH OF THEM BE OUT. STOP USING THAT AS A PLOT POINT. Maddie also was clearly a character foil for Sammie. I hated her.

Sammie starts to break rules and loosen up, I guess, and is immature and melodramatic about it. Cooper, a childhood friend, teaches her to cheat on tests. She fakes vomiting and fainting to get out of them. Aggravating. I grew progressively less attached to the characters and story. It dragged at parts and was sad and unsettling at others. This book would have been much, much stronger and more interesting by doing the following. Have Sammie be an only child. Have her already be in a relationship with Stuart at the beginning, and have her fall for Cooper instead. Have the friendship with Maddie actually develop over the book, instead of them just going to parties together. Sammie's symptoms progress apace. The other characters could exchange emails as transitions and plot points. This entire book was a multi-layered missed opportunity. ( )

I think I may have just cried my contacts out of my eyes. This book was such an emotional read.

Sammie goes from driven high school senior, on the debate team, valedictorian to someone with advanced stages of NPC http://nnpdf.org/overview/#NPC in a matter of months. Her change in physical and mental development match her changes in personality and character. Her growth is chronicled in her memory book--she's writing to remember, and guide her future self. My mother-in-law had with Alzheimer's disease, making this very hard to read towards the end. Know that there is no happy ending here--no magical cure for this rare but very real disease. But the relationships between the characters are realistic and so well written. I'm going to need to buy this one for my high school. ( )

Year 12 girl with dementia ( )