File this under "Hard to Read." I've experienced sexism for sure, but the level of objectification Valenti described was shocking to me. In the end, I was left thinking about how it's so important to name misogyny even when it's relatively minor. All of these instances add up. They create a culture of misogyny. How else could an unrepentant misogynist be elected to the nation's highest office? A lot of men *and* women who don't see the harm in treating women like nothing more than sex objects. ( )

I don’t know what it is, but this just feels sort of incomplete to me. There was a lot of good stuff here, but I think that’s what made her moving on too quickly from topics more obvious. The ideas are promising. Their vessel needs to be fleshed out. ( )

I must open this blog stating- I will have to use language that some might find offensive or highly sexual. If I didn't, I wouldn't be accurately portraying Valenti's work. I am warning ahead of time, so no complaining, ok?

Before I purchased Sex Object by Jessica Velenti, I had an uncomfortable conversation.

I purchased the book from The Golden Notebook in Woodstock, NY (shop local!) and got into a conversation with the owner about the book. The owner is a woman and I am a man. The question was a simple one- the owner asked- I heard about this book, what is it about? She had found out I was an amateur blogger and she found out I blush easily. She found this out because I started saying what I knew the book was about-

The way men look at women and say inappropriate things, sometimes even to the point of no longer speaking, but doing. It is about her sex life, abortion, her drug habit, but mostly how men treat women.

The more I spoke, the redder I got, until I got to the point of saying- "You probably know more about what she is talking about than I do, so I am just going to stop talking now." The owner and I laughed at not only my embarrassment, but also that Valenti was writing about truth and doing it in a no holds punches type of way.

These articles are raw and not for the easily embarrassed/offended. She speaks openly about blowjobs, seeing men's penises on the subway, being ejaculated on without her knowing it, getting raped, abortion, drugs, and what she has been called as a writer for many popular sites. The way she writes is in small blog like chapters that usually begin with a bang- an example from "Anon"- I don't remember the first time an anonymous man told me to go fuck myself or said I was a cunt...." That is what you will get if you pick up this book.

The book is told in 3 parts, but I was a bit unsure why as the articles didn't stray too far from similar topics and the book is only 192 pages long or 200 with the end notes, which were notes written to her via email/blog comment- one was just a string of "fuck you." This also is not a humor book. I write that having just read and reviewed "Shrill" which has similar topics and at least in my Amazon feed is listed as one of the "books you might also enjoy." The two are vastly different.

I will write that the book did effect me. As I read, I thought about my own behavior, but also my own naiveté. I too grew up in NYC and now live near Woodstock (where her parents moved to), but I had no idea that things like this happened to women. I had heard catcalls because there are just people who are jerks who do that, but to actually take out one's penis and sometimes masturbate, just kind of floored me. It was one of those things that I thought wouldn't happen in a million years, but for Valenti it was almost a weekly/monthly thing! The book also opened up conversation with my wife as I jokingly asked her- "How many stranger's penises have you seen?" and she had to think about the question. Again, I am the naive one here.

The book is a challenging book. It ranges from the shocking articles to articles about the birth of her child who was a preemie, so it doesn't stay shocking the whole time. It reads very quickly and it is bite sized. I would read 2-3 chapters a day to stretch it out. If I sat down and read it, I could have done so in about an hour-an hour and a half.

I rated this one 4 stars. ( )

There were some really brilliant, well-articulated passages in this book. Valenti is fierce and vulnerable at the same time, laying bare some of the most intimate thoughts, anxieties, and experiences. Despite all this awesomeness, I was often confused by the book. I couldn't tell if it was meant to be a memoir telling a mostly linear story, or if each chapter was meant to be a semi-standalone essay. There was a lot of repetition of ideas and events with little variation. Even after finishing it, I'm not sure either way. The constant switching from first person to second person and back again irritates the hell out of me. It doesn't come across as a mistake or lack of skill, just a stylistic choice that really rankles me. So, solid three-stars; the parts I loved I really loved, same for the parts I hated. ( )

SEX OBJECT, A Memoir by Jessica Valenti (pp 204). I’ve never read a memoir quite like this. The author is, according to the cover, a columnist who writes about gender and politics. Half her memoir is largely about the intersection of her life—pre-teen to college and beyond—with sexual encounters (voluntary and not), interwoven with heavy doses of drugs, relationships, family, and schooling. In one sense it is brutal because she pulls no punches, either about herself or others. As the title suggests, she writes a lot about men, herself, and being a willing and often unwilling participant in all manner of sex. The latter half of the book is about the birth of her child, a no holds barred look at the circumstances of her pregnancy, her husband, a near-death birthing, her premature daughter’s precarious hold on life, and her life as a wife, mother, feminist, and writer. There is no neat wrap up, no inspirational epiphany, and no stated life lessons. I’m hard pressed to recommend the book because I don’t know quite what to make of it. But, to contradict myself, it comes from a perspective that is important to hear. Possibly it’s meaning (for me) will reveal itself at some point later. Regardless, I am impressed how frank Valenti is in talking about the details of her life, few of which are positive, but most of which are compelling (at least to read). The book is almost frightening in its rawness. ( )