3.75 stars. Well written original story that's more sad than sexy. ( )

3.75 stars. Well written original story that's more sad than sexy. ( )

It's not often a book's title is the spoiler for the story, but that's the case here. The Billy of the title not only isn't mentioned in the first half of the book, but he doesn't appear at all in the flesh. Instead, he's the nightmare that keeps one of the characters screaming in the middle of the night and the enigma that the other character tries desperately to unearth.

When therapist Tom Langois first meets patient Kevin Derocher, newlywed Kevin has just hanged himself, but doesn't know why. Tom suggests a course of action, but doesn't see Kevin again until three years later when Kevin comes to Tom's new house to fix Tom's hot tub.

By that time, Kevin's divorced and still having psychotic episodes that point to sexual abuse when he was a child. Almost as if he were courting a wild animal, Tom soothes Kevin enough that they become friends. But when they kiss for the first time, they realize that Kevin can't handle intimacy, another pointer to past abuse.

But Kevin wants to be able to kiss and hold Tom, things he can't do because of the blacked out mess in his head that brings about panic attacks. So Kevin agrees to get counseling if Tom will go with him. Tom recommends his work partner Sue, and the three of them embark on a perilous journey to unlock Kevin's memories.

Have I mentioned Billy yet? No? And that's what confused me about halfway through the book when the heavy-duty therapy began. Oddly, Billy isn't mentioned until the last fourth of the book, and his bones play an even smaller part. Considering that Fessenden tips his hand in the title, this shouldn't have been a gripping read at all.

But it is - only because Fessenden is such a skilled writer. Sexual abuse stories in gay fiction are a dime a dozen, but this one is so well written that it feels fresh and new. In fact, there are only a few glitches that exclude the title from my A list books.

Read the rest of this review at AAR (All About Romance): http://www.likesbooks.com/cgi-bin/bookReview.pl?BookReviewId=9720 ( )

This was NOT the type of book I was in the mood for last night, guess I'll learn to read reviews first.

That being said, once I started it, I could not put it down, it was that good. It's NOT something to read if sexual abuse, especially of minors, is a trigger for you. There were some VERY uncomfortable sections in this book, including rape and murder of a child.

The one thing that did give me pause was a psychologist taking to long to get a hint that abuse might have been involved. I'm just an ordinary woman, and the first thing that crossed my mind (and I don't think I even read the blurb for this book, let alone any reviews) when Kevin got nauseous when kissed was abuse. Tom was a shrink, shouldn't he have recognized the signs sooner?

But all in all, in spite of it not being what I was looking for, I was totally sucked in from the beginning, read it all in one sitting, and will check out more by this author. ( )