4.5, rounding up to 5


This is a beautifully written book and very powerful. The story begins as Ruth and Peter, both in their 70s, and facing his retirement as headmaster of a boy’s boarding school, causes Ruth to reflect back on her childhood, young adulthood, and her life as Peter’s wife. She struggles with a painful, complicated childhood and feelings that she is never quite good enough. She wonders if her life has had meaning as the headmaster’s wife and performing all the duties that went with the role.

The first part of the book begins as the first day of a new term is beginning, one that will likely be Peter’s last (“the last first day”). The latter part of the book reflects back on Ruth’s childhood and early adulthood. Towards the end I couldn’t put the book down and stayed up far too late to finish it. As Ruth reflects back on her life, we meet the wonderful Dr. Wenning, a psychiatrist she worked for in her younger years, who became her life-long friend and confidante, the one who helped her make a sort of peace with her past, as well as other characters who helped shape her life.

Secrets and painful details of a life never revealed to others paint a picture of flawed and fully fleshed out characters, ones I felt I knew and cared deeply about. The tone is sad, yet also hopeful and beautiful. The themes of the legacy one leaves behind, a life well-lived, though far from perfect, and an enduring love story resonated with me. It's a good reminder that a life well-lived may not be celebrated in the media or recognized (or even seen) by others but it's demonstrated by "little things", kindnesses shown to others, like sitting by the bedside of an ill child all night long, or never leaving the bedside of a dying friend.

This will be on my favorites list this year. It's a story I won't soon forget. The writing reminded me a bit of Stewart O'Nan who also writes about ordinary people in an extraordinary, introspective way. This is probably best for people who are middle-aged or older, who will be able to identify with the themes. ( )

Quiet heartfelt portrait of a long marriage. ( )