This is a pretty mixed bag, and a person's enjoyment of it will most likely depend on how rabid a sci-fi/killer insect fan they truly are.

This is one of those novels released for the sole purpose of advertising the movie, and indeed, it says so right on the cover. You have to love a book with an unpronouncable mouthful of a title like The Hephaestus Plague, when it features the blurb above the title begging you not to miss the theatrical release of the film version called "BUG".

The intellectual contradiction on the cover pretty much continues through the book as well, as this slim novel contains great sci-fi premises and situations, yet some of the worst characters, dialogue, and pointless transitions you'll ever stumble across in print. This is probably the only instance where I would strongly recommend readers just skip the first chapter entirely to avoid losing hope and abandoning the book right there.

But despite the rocky prose, it is interesting, and the truly painful parts are easy enough to glide over for the good stuff, of which there is plenty. So, if you like sci-fi, killer bugs, or just a quick read to pass the time, and don't mind a bit of the "I could have written this better" blues, then this is the book for you. ( )

We're going back a few years here now, and this time we're going to talk film first, then book. The film is "Bug", and it was made in the 70s, certainly not to be confused with the Ashley Judd vehicle of the mid 2000s. No, this was a William Castle production, and sadly his last, as he passed away not long after. Yes, THAT William Castle, of "House on Haunted Hill" and "The Tingler" fame. To which we can add "Rosemary's Baby", because he saw the huge value of Ira Levin's book and bought it. I know, Roman Polanski directed it, and probably it was better off for it, but Castle did in fact own the property and produced. Can you imagine the Castle gimmick that might've happened had HE directed it? Maybe glasses with "his father's eyes"? Wowsa!

Anyway. Back to "Bug". If you are old enough, you might remember that one…beetle-looking things that can start fires with their tuckus. Seriously.

BUT WAIT! Turns out it was a pretty decent film. And why not? William Castle, after all. And Jeannot Szwarc directed. A pretty good bloodline! And it all came from the book we're discussing today, "The Hephaestus Plague". Thomas Page wrote it, and also penned the screenplay. Better, I think, that the guy who wrote the book also do the screenplay. So that it would do well was almost to be expected, at least so far as a cheesy horror flick about pyromaniacal roaches. Because that's what they are, not beetles but roaches, and we learn this in almost nauseating detail in the book. Page clearly knows a thing or two about the subject.

Or not. I have read a few notes here and there on that great Fount of All Wisdom, the Interwebz, about how many factual entomological errors the book supposedly contains. Well, it seems to me I bought the book for entertainment, not to learn about roaches, so I will can Page a pass on that. But anyway, here's the skinny: an earthquake happens in North Carolina. A yawning crevice opens on a fellow's farm, from which the Parmiteras emerge...named for the way-mad scientist who classifies them. Of course like all roaches, they're hungry. And they eat…carbon.

That's right. Carbon. From things that burn.

Okay. I get it. And it almost makes sense. What a concept! Carbon-eating bugs that create their own food by burning everything in sight! Even cars aren't safe…the bugs crawl up exhaust pipes and…KERBLAMMO! as the great David Hobbs might say. They also travel well this way, it seems, and before you know it, New York is burning and hundreds of people are dead.

But the story is really about the scientist, Parmiter, who, as mentioned, isn't exactly possessed of all the proper psychiatric hardware. In the course of trying to find out how best to dispose of the six-legged threat, he BREEDS the damned things, and, well, you can guess what happens next. Or maybe you can't.

It's wild and more than a little wacky, and perhaps a little dated, but it's still fun. I'm going to take off a star for the way-too-indepth examination of the roach—I now know, supposed inaccuracies aside, WAY more than I ever wanted to know about them—but it's still one really entertaining read. That I went through it in a couple of days says a lot…it really is engrossing. And I do mean gross.

Back to the film for just a second, which I admit I never saw, but I mean to, and as I often do, while I was reading I wondered who would play who in the movie. The only one I really managed to pin down was Parmiter…Anthony Perkins, I thought, he'd be perfect. Studious-looking but with that gleam of madness. Of course I was wrong but the actual choice turned out to be Bradford Dillman (best remembered by me from the Dirty Harry flicks as Callahan's Captain) who is an outstanding actor…and who, I might add, bears more than a passing resemblance to…Tony Perkins! Who knew?

Now I must see the movie and find out if it really is—for once—better than the book. If it is, it promises to be most memorable indeed...the grossout factor aside.

Recommended. ( )