Oh Samuel Clemens, you are hilarious. Mostly because I also love hearing one-sided phone conversations. I make fun of my mother all the time because she tells everyone that her email address is "MY FIRST NAME DOT MY LAST NAME AT GMAIL DOT COM."

Here's a typical one-sided conversation that could've heard me say the other day:

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What? Why?

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An armadillo? Where were you?

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Ha! That's so amazing. The Amish horse looked you straight in the eye?

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No, I know you hate movies that came out before 1985.

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I guess in October. In Chicago?

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I'm glad you have my life goals in mind.

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"Annnd I miiiiis youuuuu, like the deserts miiiiss the raaain."

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Did you see Tots & Tiaras the other day?

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OMG, I know. She totally messed up on her tot walk. And that one lady that was eating drywall afterward?!

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I'm not saying you like The Arcade Fire.

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Yeah, well I hate you sometimes too.





Now that I think about it, this is a pretty typical phone conversation for me. Anyway, my point is that one-sided phone conversations were ridiculous even at the turn of the century. Mark Twain was just a trendsetter like that.

Read the one-sided conversation that was inflicted on him while he was trying to write here. ( )