Review coming soon. ( )

I found If I Tell to be very honest. Teenagers really are that moody. They really do say things and feel things that Jaz does. If you have problems, chances are good that all of your friends do, too. Misfits stick together. Another reviewer found it unrealistic that so many people had problems, but I disagree. It was nice to watch Jaz come to accept herself and others. Like most teenagers, she feels like adults are not allowed to have faults, and holds every little fault against the adults in her life. Jackson's character was great, too. I would have liked to see more done with the music aspect, but otherwise very solid. ( )

Jaz has secrets. Deep secrets that she is afraid to share with anyone else. After all, she has been let down and ostracized before. Who's to say that by letting anyone new in it won't happen again? Cue a story that is stunningly written, and heartrendingly intriguing. From page one I was involved in Jaz's life. I read long into the night, unwilling to stop until I flipped that very last page.

One of the reasons I've fallen in love with contemporary fiction is how amazing and real the characters can be. In If I Tell, Janet Gurtler shows this beautifully with each character that she builds. Jaz and the people around her are all vivid depictions of teenage life. In fact, Jaz herself is a character that I don't see very often but hope to see more of. Raised by her grandmother in a small, and rather racially prejudice, town Jaz has it tough. She constantly feels bullied by her peers, and doesn't feel like she really fits in anywhere. For Jaz, being biracial isn't something to be proud of. It's just another bump in her road to fitting in and leading a "normal" life.

To add it it all, her life happens to be populated with some rather interesting and unique people. There's Lacey, an older girl whose promiscuity and drinking habits hide a dark past. There's Simon, the boyfriend that Jaz isn't sure her mother should have, especially after what she witnessed. Then there is sweet Jackson. The boy who is labeled a "bad boy" by all the people around him, but who doesn't quite seem to fit the bill. Each one of these characters leads Jaz on her road to self-discovery, and helps her learn that what is on the outside is only a small part of what a person truly is.

Truth be told, this book deals with a lot of really tough themes that I think need to be addressed for teens. Janet Gurtler doesn't sugar coat anything at all, which I really admired her for. Racial prejudice, broken families, and isolation are all addressed in this book. Jaz's life isn't easy, and it's through this struggle that we get to see her grow. However things aren't all stormy. There are also themes of love, self-worth, and even understanding woven in as well. If I Tell is a delightfully balanced book from start to finish. It's the type that will have you smiling one moment, and tearing up the next.

Overall this was a quick, sweet, and amazing read. As I said I read it straight through and loved every minute of it! Jaz is a character that I really fell in love with. I hope to see more like her, and thank Janet Gurtler for letting me meet her in the first place.
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I have fallen in love with Janet Gurtler's writing. The stories that she creates are always deeply emotional and intense with beautifully created characters. They are vulnerable and imperfect and entirely recognizable as real people. I also love that the author doesn't shy away from tough subjects. She doesn't gloss over them or smooth the edges, but presents them in an authentic way.

The issues are deep in this book. Race, prejudice, loyalty, family issues... all of these things are explored throughout this book. Our MC, Jaz, is biracial and has struggled throughout her life to feel as if she fit in. She has been raised by her grandparents and what is left of her relationship with her mother is pretty unhealthy. Her mother was just 17 when Jaz was born and has been rather absent since, something that has filled Jaz with no small amount of resentment. The issues just deepen when Jaz sees her mother's boyfriend Simon at a party, kissing her best friend. That best friend, Lacey, had been one of the few people she truly trusted and now that is gone, too. But even with all of the drama, Jaz also finds a new friend in Ashley and unexpected romance with Jackson.

I love the characters in this book! Each one of them has their own story, their own issues. Regardless of their role in the story, it was difficult not to feel for them. There are moments of back story and twists and turns that add levels of depths to them all, even those in supporting roles.

There are lessons to be learned in this book. Lessons of acceptance and diversity. Lessons about judgments and stereotypes. Lessons about friendship and loyalty. Lessons about forgiveness and love, all kinds of love.

Some Quotastic Goodness

--I needed to make sure I wasn’t having a horrible hallucination, but I really wished that someone had spiked my soda and that drugs were distorting my reality. Like I was witnessing a train wreck, I wanted to look away but couldn’t take my eyes off them (Loc. 73).
--Hello, hot. Jackson Morgan, the new boy at Westwind High. Supposedly he’d failed kindergarten and had just gotten out of some school for delinquent boys. For dealing drugs. But I managed to stay composed when he nodded at me (Loc. 102).
--Another check on the long list of things I didn’t inherit from her. Boobs. Nope. Blond straight hair. Nope. Coloring. Nope. I’m more a muddy mix of black and white. Mixing colors is pretty basic stuff for artists, but it’s trickier with people (Loc. 175).
--“You think because he has a black father and a white mother, the baby is bad or evil or something (Loc. 3305)?”

My Recommendation: I absolutely love Janet Gurtler's writing. They are intense and emotional and they pull me in from the moment I start reading. They are some of the best contemporary fiction I have read. I definitely recommend this book! ( )

I wanted to love this book. It seemed promising enough. I mean, at it’s bare bones If I Tell was good. The main character, Jasmine, is a bi-racial girl in a white-washed suburb in Washington. If feeling like an outside because of her skin color isn’t bad enough, Jasmine also sees Simon, her mother’s boyfriend, mackin’ on some other girl at a party. (Do people even use the word “macking” anymore?). Jasmine struggles with how to deal with this situation: how will she keep her cool around Simon? He’s been a good friend to her, and he is one of only two black people in Jasmine’s life. She also struggles with how to approach this issue with her mom– if she even should bring it up. Because Jasmine’s mom is pregnant, and Simon is the father.

If I Tell also deals with the issue of postpartum depression, which adds depth to the storyline. Jasmine was born when her mother was a teenager and unprepared to take care of a child on her own. So, Jasmine was raised by her grandparents. Now, Jasmine’s mom has a second chance at being a parent, and all throughout her pregnancy she’s excited by the idea. But after Jasmine’s mom gives birth, the depression settles in. The moment she’s been waiting for for nine months disintegrates. It’s truly heartbreaking.

But…the rest becomes really muddled. I mean, if you’re looking for an “issue book”, If I Tell really fits the bill. Infidelity, racism, and broken families aside, this book also deals with…molestation, alcoholism, homosexuality, AIDS, drugs, psychotic ex-girlfriends, death, uh…and sexual assault. I just felt like all of these issues piled into one book that was a little much for a book that has a little more than 200 pages.

I also didn’t care for the author’s approach to sex. Or maybe it’s really Jasmine’s view of sex, but sometimes it’s hard to separate the two from the message. Most of the time, whenever the topic of sex was brought up, slut-shaming was involved. Even more, the slut in question was an adult very capable of making adult decisions. I don’t know why this character’s sex life was blamed on her troubled past. ( )